Trust issues in relationships

[BabySteps]

Well God would have us wait til we are married to have sex, and in marriage to only have sex with that mpartner, our spouse, i agree with this completely, even though I have commited fornication and regret it I agree. but I have trouble trusting women, not just women men too.I have thoughts like....

Well you here all this stuff about wifes cheating on you, I'd be afraid to leaveh er at home while I am at work or something, or like introduce her to friends, so I will simply not have friends, or the guys at church could be there with alterior motives and try to take advantage of my wife, I get paranoid about them, cause we are all men and human and have sexual thoughts to deal with. I think when I am walking in a store or down the street with ag irl, the guys are fantasizing about her, and guys play (well i know this is true) like they are understanding and sensitive and "mature" only to take advantage of females, then when you try to tell them you look crazy...

I don't know if I could ever trust a woman, like I've been cheated on and heard so many stories of adultery it literally makes me sick to think about love, which is bad cuz I really like someone right now. who else deals with this? how do you get over it?

 

[rebecca1918]

Well, the person you are with will show you that you are the only one. There are always signs of cheating. No matter how well the person tries to hide it. Having the same values helps as well. I have been both the one cheating and been cheated on, and I have learned that in my life, when there's love there is no cheating, and when there is cheating, there is no love.

 

[SplendidTree]

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Thread has been moved from Substance Abuse to General Struggles.


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[justlikeThomas]

Baby Steps,

it seems you are on the right path. You mentioned your past sins and have shown regret, and I am happy that you have found and overcome your weakness.

Many people have trust issues, especially when it comes to marriage. The best way to overcome trust issues when it concerns finding your life partner, is believe it or not a very simple thing. Get to know this girl you like. Become friends with her, and let your friendship develop into something more than a friendship. However, I would like you to keep a few things in mind:

1. You should be completely honest with each other, this is the most important thing when approaching your relationship with her. Trust is a two way thing. In order for you to be able to trust her, she has to be able to trust you. It can not go one way.

2. When you have doubts about something, do two things: one, give her the benefit of the doubt. and two: confront her. You will be surprised at what you will find, and sometimes may even mock your own trust issues.

3. It is unfortunate, but true, that many people nowadays are cheating on their significant other. However, you can not go into a relationship thinking that she is going to cheat on you right off the bat. Again, trust is very important. You are called to a higher standard than those of this world, and if God is a part of your life and a part of this relationship, this thought will not even cross your mind.

4. Do not forget your past accomplishment of overcoming the sin of fornication. Do not let the devil win this one.

5. Above all else, pray for God's will. If it does not work out with this girl, then let God close that door for you. He will open another