I would first point to the God, or at least the God concept, revealed in the life lived by Jesus, minus the religion that grew up about him.
Human things must first be known in order to be loved. Divine things must first be loved in order to be known.
This God that I speak of lives within you Sarah, that's where you should search for it, that is where you will find this God of love. God is spirit and he has sent a part of himself to live within the heart of every person of a sound mind. The Urantia revelation teaches that the Father fragment or Thought Adjuster comes to a person around the time of their first moral choice, on average around age 6.
This gift of the Father waits patiently for that momentous day when you truly desire it's guidance.