Troubled in relationship

[jiuo]

Hi, this is my first time in this forum, and i hope to share my problems and get some guidance here.

I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years.. however we had broken off when we were about 1 yr into our relationship and got back together after about 6 mths of cooling down. So there was actually a gap between our dating period. The reason for us breaking up then was because we had gotten too comfortable with each other and started having bodily intimacy. However, we did not have any form of sex. We broke up as we felt it is the best for the both of us. However, even when we broke up, we were still in love with each other. It was a really tough period..

After about 6mths of cooling down, we got back together (*naturally). *we had a connection with each other, and we just knew that we would be together and naturally we got closer to each other and became together again.

We knew of the mistakes we had made and we were clear that we should not be making it a second time. However, this time we failed and we sank into the same problem again. I was the one who had fell into the temptation and initiated the process.

After the problem, I just thought that by praying and we will be able to forget about the problem. However, my girl was the stronger one, and she felt guilty of what she had done. She had requested for a cooling off period again(we had not broken off), so that she can think and pray to God.

It is also through her that i knew i needed God even more in my life both in wisdom and grace than i was before. I have been praying hard for a few days now and I am really troubled and do not what to do. In all my prayers, God tells me to have faith in Him that He will bring it to pass, however, after praying my mind will be wandering and over time my faith simply deflates away... I really love my girl so much that we were planning for our future until this came up. I am really at a loss and would gladly appreciate some guidance.

 

[E.C.]

"Cool off" with the physical stuff sure, but don't kill the whole relationship.

 

[Luther073082]

I've never understood people who break up while they still love eachother just because they feel that they've gotten too physical. Thats not a logical way of handling it.

Paul tells us one of the reasons two people should get married is because they burn in lust for one another. That desire for physical parts of a relationship will always be there, its a temptation that every Christian should expect and be prepared for. You have to find a way around it and breaking up doesn't fix it.

You may end up dating someone else, but you are still going to both run into the same problem.

I admire the devotion to God that you are willing to break off a relationship that you both enjoy in order to keep his commandments better. But the problem that its a misguided use of that devotion because it doesn't fix things in the long term at all.

 

[jiuo]

hi, thanks for all the reply.

Im against breaking as well, but i had to respect her decision too..
I've been fasting and praying over this matter and I hope to be able to talk to her over this problem in this few days. Do pray for me! Thanks! more guidance is welcomed!

 

[Windmill]

Hi, this is my first time in this forum, and i hope to share my problems and get some guidance here.

I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years.. however we had broken off when we were about 1 yr into our relationship and got back together after about 6 mths of cooling down. So there was actually a gap between our dating period. The reason for us breaking up then was because we had gotten too comfortable with each other and started having bodily intimacy. However, we did not have any form of sex. We broke up as we felt it is the best for the both of us. However, even when we broke up, we were still in love with each other. It was a really tough period..

After about 6mths of cooling down, we got back together (*naturally). *we had a connection with each other, and we just knew that we would be together and naturally we got closer to each other and became together again.

We knew of the mistakes we had made and we were clear that we should not be making it a second time. However, this time we failed and we sank into the same problem again. I was the one who had fell into the temptation and initiated the process.

After the problem, I just thought that by praying and we will be able to forget about the problem. However, my girl was the stronger one, and she felt guilty of what she had done. She had requested for a cooling off period again(we had not broken off), so that she can think and pray to God.

It is also through her that i knew i needed God even more in my life both in wisdom and grace than i was before. I have been praying hard for a few days now and I am really troubled and do not what to do. In all my prayers, God tells me to have faith in Him that He will bring it to pass, however, after praying my mind will be wandering and over time my faith simply deflates away... I really love my girl so much that we were planning for our future until this came up. I am really at a loss and would gladly appreciate some guidance.

Are you breaking up? It sounds like a temporary split.

How old are you? At this stage, from a Christian perspective, both of you have been dating long enough and feel certain enough in your relationship that it seems like you should heavily consider marriage. 3 years is a long time. Even with the 6 month break, thats 3 years where you have been in-love. If you really do feel so wonderful together then yes, heavily consider marriage.

Of course, if you're both 19 or something, then I retract my advice. Though the occasional person is ready I would not willy-nilly advice any under 22 year old to get married, as life changes very fast in these years. In which case, perhaps less alone time with each other might help? You really need to create strategies for dealing with your desires. Do more public things. Like if you want to have alone time, have it in public places.