Trouble relating to NTs at church

[1simus]

I've been effectively mute for about the last 15 years. After I was saved I started attending a local church and had been going to a small group bible study. Slowly I started to open up and try to contribute to the discussion. Because of depression and a poor self-image I sometimes say funny things. The last time I went though I felt rather manic (I'm not bi-polar but I do have a pretty wide swing...) I just kind of blurted out what I thought it meant. It wasn't quite what the leader thought it meant and well I guess he just shook his head and didn't respond. I left feeling crushed, like I had gotten myself into trouble. I hate feeling like the antagonist. I didn't go back for a couple of months and now I'm trying to go back and its weird. It isn't like they're rejecting me but kind of like just leaving me alone, which I really can't stand. I would rather a, "you're the devil, go away." to just getting stares and whispers. Oh well...

advice/insights?

 

[SymphonicaX]

have you told them that you have characteristics about yourself?

 

[1simus]

I told the leader everything yes. Although I should say the leader was a fill in guy. I told the actual singles pastor's husband a little bit but he's no expert and misunderstood. I'm trying to get myself to talk to him and his wife to go more indepth.

 

[Bryan519]

Yeah...I've felt that way many times, but most of the time my fear was unfounded. Often when I would ask, they wouldn't even remembered what I said and stated that they don't remember me saying anything weird at all. My suggestion would be to just approach whoever you the most comfortable with, and ask them if you came across in a way that you didn't mean. I bet you will find that the only one focusing on it is you, but if not, this will give you the opportunity to clarify what you meant, or if you said something to offend somebody, and opportunity to apologize if you feel it is necessary. I think you will find that this open approach will be most appreciated and it will help clear your mind.