*trigger* TormentedSkin

[ShatteredThorns]

My name is Laura and I have been a self injurer for almost 5 years, sometimes i find it so hard to keep going on, there have been so many times that i want to just slash my wrists and let all the bad flow out of me then i would die, maybe then i would be truly happy. I feel that at this point in my life, i will struggle with this forever and i will never be truly freed from it. I try to have a lot of faith but i always feel lost and like i just deserve to die. i dont know what to do anymore....


please pray

In Christ,
Laura

 

[goldenviolet]

sweetheart God's love pours out all the hurt much more gently. i'm glad you found us. if you need a warmfuzzy and encouragement, you came to the right place. God loves you very much. you belong to the family of Christ. let us be His hands and feet.

have you seen a doctor or counselor? you need support in this area too. local crisis numbers are great for referals onto places to go. or just for someone to talk to.

welcome to CF! we hope you get and give many blessings here! love dee

 

[Im-revived]

Laura Love, just like Golden Violet has said areyou receiving any help, doctor, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, or a counsellor. in fact does anyone know love.
You explain how you want to die by doing this, because you think you would be happy then, but sweetheart you wouldn't be happy. You don't deserve to die, what you deserve is love, help and support, and you will become free, let God in to direct you to the right place.

Im-revived

My name is Laura and I have been a self injurer for almost 5 years, sometimes i find it so hard to keep going on, there have been so many times that i want to just slash my wrists and let all the bad flow out of me then i would die, maybe then i would be truly happy. I feel that at this point in my life, i will struggle with this forever and i will never be truly freed from it. I try to have a lot of faith but i always feel lost and like i just deserve to die. i dont know what to do anymore....


please pray

In Christ,
Laura

 

[lostndown]

hugs. it's gonna be ok. just trust in God for all ur strength and im here for u too, k? just email me at my hotmail or yahoo accts. thanks... im praying 4 u.

~alicia~

 

[goldenviolet]

your turn to be the bunny

 

[inHisgripkim]

Hi Laura:

You came to a loving place here at CF. You will find many cheerleaders here cheering you on when the going gets tough. I, too, am battling a similar condition and have been for about 10 years. There was a time when I would reach the bottom after a relapse and feel like doom and gloom. At times, I would have to take stress leave from work. Just know that it will get better. We take baby steps and each day that goes by without relapse is a victory. We have more victories than relapse days. I have had to tell myself when I relapse that it is just one day. Tomorrow is another day. It takes time for recovery and it takes time to find what works for you. Don't let one day of relapse hold you down. I know that the struggle is tiring and frustrating. I just relapsed the other day. But I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is healing in the Lord, but it is in His timing. Each day I get closer to complete recovery. One day I will beat it. This I believe and you have to believe the same thing.

Those of us posting on this board are in the same boat. You are not alone on your journey to healing and recovery.

When you relapse, come here and we will give you a group hug and tell you that we understand. We will encourage you and support you. We are here with open arms.

Don't give up. Cling to the Lord. Keep your focus on Him. He gives me so much joy. I love to seek Him out with all my heart, mind, and soul. Living to Love the Lord gives me drive and strength. I love loving the Lord.

We are here for you. Don't let the shame keep you away. We are going through this together. We struggling together here. You are not alone on your journey.

God made you and you are perfect in His eyes. You are His masterpiece. If you could only see yourself through the eyes of the Lord, you would see how magnificant you really are.

Blessings and gentleness to you,
Kim

 

[Broken_Wings]

My name is Laura and I have been a self injurer for almost 5 years, sometimes i find it so hard to keep going on, there have been so many times that i want to just slash my wrists and let all the bad flow out of me then i would die, maybe then i would be truly happy. I feel that at this point in my life, i will struggle with this forever and i will never be truly freed from it. I try to have a lot of faith but i always feel lost and like i just deserve to die. i dont know what to do anymore....


please pray

In Christ,
Laura

HI
im new here too...and i struggle with the same thing(very recently as a matter of fact)and i KNOW how hard it is to hang on to God when you cant see any light at all. but as others have said(in maybe not the exact words)....WE HAVE TO KEEP TRYING! we have to keep trying to find that light! we have to keep trying to find Gods hand to pull us out of the darkness! one second at a time...one minute at a time...one day at a time!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! as you can see if you look thru this forum.
((((((LAURA))))))safe gentle hugs.

Many Blessings!
~Chelle

 

[Kellylaine]

I just want to put my arms around you and hug you so much right now! I want you to know that I am praying for you. God loves you, and remember you have friends here who are praying for you.

 

[HolyOne87]

My name is Laura and I have been a self injurer for almost 5 years, sometimes i find it so hard to keep going on, there have been so many times that i want to just slash my wrists and let all the bad flow out of me then i would die, maybe then i would be truly happy. I feel that at this point in my life, i will struggle with this forever and i will never be truly freed from it. I try to have a lot of faith but i always feel lost and like i just deserve to die. i dont know what to do anymore....


please pray

In Christ,
Laura

As hard as it might be, there is always hope to stop. It's never too late to do that. Sometimes it will take time(sometimes a lot, and sometimes a little), but there is a way. I know you can do it. I know you can find a way to steer away from this way of life. Although you do not have a lot of faith, I have a lot of faith in you. I know you can stop. Even the most lost of people can find their way again (i know, because I am one of those people).
And you do not want to die. Like someone else said in another post, you will not only be ending all the pain you have, but you will be ending the only life you will be given; a life that was a gift to you by God. Try your hardest not to do this to yourself. I shall pray and hope you work on steering clear from SI.



+God Bless+

 

[berry2000]

Hey Laura,
Welcome to this corner of CF. We are sorry you are hurting this way but we are glad that you have found us. I've been a self harmer for over 7 years and struggle not only w/ self harming thoughts but suicidal thoughts too.

When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought "If I touched his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. Mark 5:27

"But you are a chosen people, a royal preiesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may decalre the parises of him who calle dyou out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

 

[livingdeadgirl07]

Hello Laura,

I struggle with those thoughts and feelings as well. I myself have used self injury as a vice for many years, even before I was old enough to understand what I was doing to myself and why. It started when I was very young, I would bang my head into things or punch/kick/pinch myself if I thought I'd failed, was embarrassed, or scared etc. It slowly progressed to cutting and burning myself, and suicidal thoughts and attempts. As I've been on antidepressants and gone to counselling for years, I strongly suggest you find a reliable Christian counselor, and try to figure out why you self harm, and what triggers the "need" to do so. Once the source has been isolated, it's easier to explore new ways to get out frustrations, anxieties, disappointments etc. Try writing down how you're feeling and why, take up a hobby, take a walk, play with a pet/animal, or just talk to someone about how you're feeling. I find communication can work wonders. Not only to let other's know how we're feeling, but sometimes to learn ourselves what's contributing to those feelings and why we react in certain ways. A lot of self injurers harm themselves because they can't find any other way to express how they're feeling. Their emotions overtake all logic. I sincerely hope you find a solution to your problem. God Bless.

-Brit

(p.s. feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to.)

 

[lostndown]

hey laura,
it's me. i thought i'd reply more to this. (as you know already) i cut myself from 2003 - july 2004, but i HAVE slipped 2 or 3x since i was raped, in febuary, but my counselor knew so yea. i am ok right now. it's really hard to deal with, emotionally and physically.

it's not the smartest thing to do = cut, but i can relate to u as u know, and yea. i get triggered sometimes but i have it so i dont do anything i just pray now. God is good, and He is your Strong Tower!!! it's very true. listen to Kutless or Newsboys!!!! they rock... hehe...

God is always here for u 24 hrs a day, no matter what ur going thru. it'll be ok, especially since ur not allowed to do it at HA in august, cuz they put u on probation or dismiss u. (lol - i would know haha)

seriously, take God and walk Him thru your life and what u are going thru and thinking and urges u may have, and fears and what u need Him to help u with... He'll listen to everything u say, hon! it's very true!

i did it a LOT and no i dont really regret it cuz it helped me get thru it, but i dont need that now. (cutting, bruising) = self injury... *hugs*

i g2g but u have my msn and yahoo email addy's so u can send me a note anytime.

~michelle~ (alicia)

 

[lostndown]

*hug* u know im praying for ya girl.

~michelle~ (alicia)

 

[treegirl2011]

Hey laura! You have definatly come to the right place. I used to be a cutter and anorexic at the same time! Bad combo...trust me. But God helped me through it and he'll help you too. The feelings the want will never go away but you can try to fill the space with the holy spirit! Feel free to E-mail me or IM me! If you e-mail me send it to my Yahoo account. Many hugs!

 

[lostndown]

i got *T* last night from a lifetime movie. and i'd advice not to watch it. Painful Secrets... it was scary seeing the movie.

yeah, im praying for u laura... whether we're still friends or not, its ok...

~michelle~ (alicia)

 

[the_box_of_giggles]

*big warm fuzzy hug* im praying for you. if you ever need to talk...

 

[lostndown]

you're gonna have to not s/i cuz if ur still planning on going to HA in less than 2 wks, u have to be really careful and safe. *hug*