Tried but Failed

nicknack said:

I've tried to quit porn and masturbation. I tried to stop thinking, I tried to occupy myself. I tried to go turkey, I tried online courses. I tried to pray, I tried to go to church. I tried to read the Bible. In the end, nothing has changed. Every time I stave off these 2 bad habits, they come back to me worse than before, everytime I swear that I have kicked these 2 habits.

To make me feel worse, it's beginning to feel like it's not wrong anymore.

I really tried to ignore those ads of scantily clad women in newspapers, the internet and TV. I tried to ignore those lustful thoughts. But why am I back in Square One?

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Have you tried focusing your energy on learning who you are in Christ? Satan says you are a lustful person who can't win at this battle of purity. He keeps attacking you, and unfortunately, you are falling for his lines. We all fall for them at one point or another. Spend some time learning who you are in Christ.

Study the verses I have included in this list.

Who I Am In Christ

I am accepted...

John 1:12 I am God's child.

John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:1 I have been justified.

1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.

1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ's body.

Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.

Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.

Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.



I am secure...

Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation.

Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.

Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.

Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God.

Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.

Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.

2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.



I am significant...

John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.

John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.

Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.

Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship.

Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.




Hugs,
Trish

madison1101 said:

Have you tried focusing your energy on learning who you are in Christ? Satan says you are a lustful person who can't win at this battle of purity. He keeps attacking you, and unfortunately, you are falling for his lines. We all fall for them at one point or another. Spend some time learning who you are in Christ.

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I second that. There's a few things that you MUST do if you hope to every have lasting freedom from these sins. First, you must share your struggles with someone else...and I don't just mean online, I mean in person. You have to open up to someone and share it with them, and talk to them about your struggles and temptations everyday if possible. You must cut off all sources of temptation that you can. Obviously some things are impossible, as adult bookstores and magazine covers at the supermarket aren't going to go away...but you do need to do everything you can do to get these things out of you life. Lastly and most important, you must dedicate each day to Christ and spend some time in prayer and reading a book or something that will help strengthen your relationship with the word. Don't spend too much time focusing on your sins...the more you think about them the more they are on your mind and the harder it is to turn away when tempted. Do your best to put the past behind you and start a new spiritual life. Focus on the Lord...not on your past sins. He will take away all your temptations.

-Matt

I know you said you've tried online courses, but have you tried www.settingcaptivesfree.com ?
I found it really helpful

mathias1979 said:

I second that. There's a few things that you MUST do if you hope to every have lasting freedom from these sins. First, you must share your struggles with someone else...and I don't just mean online, I mean in person. You have to open up to someone and share it with them, and talk to them about your struggles and temptations everyday if possible. You must cut off all sources of temptation that you can. Obviously some things are impossible, as adult bookstores and magazine covers at the supermarket aren't going to go away...but you do need to do everything you can do to get these things out of you life. Lastly and most important, you must dedicate each day to Christ and spend some time in prayer and reading a book or something that will help strengthen your relationship with the word. Don't spend too much time focusing on your sins...the more you think about them the more they are on your mind and the harder it is to turn away when tempted. Do your best to put the past behind you and start a new spiritual life. Focus on the Lord...not on your past sins. He will take away all your temptations.

-Matt

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What I have learned to do is to go to God in repentance when I fail. I usually read Psalm 51 out loud. That is the Psalm that David wrote in repentance after he sinned with Bathsheba. I then confess my sin and ask the Lord's forgiveness. I also thank him for forgiving me and then I rejoice in his love and grace. Then, I move on and don't dwell on my past.

In doing this I have sinned a lot less in this area, and have been able to repent a whole lot faster.

Confess, repent and move on.

I also agree with the accountability. I have a dear friend who I confess to. When she senses I am in danger of slipping, she holds me accountable for taking care of myself so I don't sin. She reminds me and prays for me regularly.

nicknack said:

I've tried to quit porn and masturbation. I tried to stop thinking, I tried to occupy myself. I tried to go turkey, I tried online courses. I tried to pray, I tried to go to church. I tried to read the Bible. In the end, nothing has changed. Every time I stave off these 2 bad habits, they come back to me worse than before, everytime I swear that I have kicked these 2 habits.

To make me feel worse, it's beginning to feel like it's not wrong anymore.

I really tried to ignore those ads of scantily clad women in newspapers, the internet and TV. I tried to ignore those lustful thoughts. But why am I back in Square One?

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If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people." It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

nicknack said:

I've tried to quit porn and masturbation. I tried to stop thinking, I tried to occupy myself. I tried to go turkey, I tried online courses. I tried to pray, I tried to go to church. I tried to read the Bible. In the end, nothing has changed. Every time I stave off these 2 bad habits, they come back to me worse than before, everytime I swear that I have kicked these 2 habits.

To make me feel worse, it's beginning to feel like it's not wrong anymore.

I really tried to ignore those ads of scantily clad women in newspapers, the internet and TV. I tried to ignore those lustful thoughts. But why am I back in Square One?

Click to expand...

This can be very discouraging to you, I've no doubt about that.
I'm curious; what online courses have you tried? Did you finish any of them? You seem to be doing the right things, going to church, reading the bible, prayer.

Here is my question: what do you do when you are tempted to do p&m??
Do you try to resist it? Run to your bible? Flee the room you are in (if you are tempted to go to your bedroom and act out?) Throw magazines away? Get a computer filter? The course I took talks about radically AMPUTATING feeding sources of p&m. You have to rid youself of them, deny access to computer sites. If you see any questionable photos even in newspapers, do you rip them up?

Oh BTW you say you are trying to ignore the photos.You are trying, which is good, but we probably need to do something a little more drastic, like cancelling a paper subscription if this is problematic for you. Get a computer filter so you can be on the computer. I use "Safe Eyes" which is virtually unhackable. You may need to question what you look at on TV,and examine your viewing habits. Maybe you could be walking, working out or doing a hobby you enjoy, reading the bible instead of watching TV.

I took Way of Purity and it talks about resisting temptation, fleeing from it, and not even going near the source of it. You may have to decide which it is. I've left the house at times just to flee the temptations I was feeling. Thrown away music CDs, viewed my movie habits, got accountability. God can and will grant you freedom, but you may need to do some radical things to cut off the feeding sources of p&m.

And feed on the word of God like never before. He has made every provision you need to be victorious. The closer you draw to Jesus, friend, He will keep you from falling, and you will gradually see that His way of purity CAN be a wonderful thing and certainly more satisfying than our ways of pleasure. And accountability is important too. Just by sharing your experience you are bringing this into the light.

Feel free to pm me.
Jan

nicknack said:

Porn is easily accessible through the internet, temptation comes even easier just by the slightest hint of sensuality. It's everywhere. It's really hard. I've tried to talk, tried to confide, I've tried everything, maybe not with the 100% effort, but I did try. I thank you for your replies though. Although this might be a losing battle, but I will continue to fight.

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There's another key right there...if you are going to make an effort, it needs to be genuine and you need to make a total commitment to it. None of this "well I'll see how it goes for a day or two and give up if it gets to be overwheming". Once and for all you just have to say that you are done with it and completely open yourself up to the Holy Spirit. You alone do not have the strength to overcome such an addiction, but God does have that strength. You have to humble yourself before him and be willing to admit how weak you truely are without him. You must cut off all access to temptation you possibly can...even if this means you are inconvenienced. You just have to do it. An internet filter is an absolute necessity if you are expecting to ever be completely free. You must have faith that all things are possible with the Lord. When you are tempted you must believe that the Lord can take away that temptation, and he will, if you ask him to. I remember when I was struggling, when I was hit with temptation, I felt that the only way to make the temptation go away was to give into it. This is an absolute LIE! Never believe this! The only way to make it go away for good is to deny the devil the satisfaction of giving into his temptations and to turn yourself to Jesus and ask him to make it go away!

I suggest you give setting captives free another try, and make the commitment to stay with it more than a few days. It does get easier eventually, but you have to be willing to deny yourself the pleasures of your sin for awhile. It can be done...trust me! But you must be truely commited!

-Matt

nicknack said:

Yes, I tried settingcaptivesfree for a few days and I quit. Personally, it's hard to ignore such pictures, be it a decent ad. It still brings suggestive thoughts. I've tried hard to focus my heart on God, but it's all just temporary before I fall back into sin.

I used to confide in my ex-gf, but we broke up for a long time already, and I confide in a personal friend. So far nothing good.

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You need to get into an accountability/mentoring relationship with an older, mature Christian man. This is scriptural. Find a man at your church, or ask your pastor to recommend someone who can mentor you in the Bible.

I am in a mentoring relationship with an older woman at my church. We do Bible study together regularly.

I suggest you give setting captives free another try, and make the commitment to stay with it more than a few days. It does get easier eventually, but you have to be willing to deny yourself the pleasures of your sin for awhile. It can be done...trust me! But you must be truely commited!

-Matt[/QUOTE]


I agree totally! There have been others who have enrolled 2x or more. You have to make a decision to stick with it all the way no matter how you feel. I felt like I went through withdrawal symptoms when I took it. It's hard, you feel like you're going nuts, but it's worth the temporary pain to find lasting freedom in Christ.
Jan

I remember something I read on another message board. This person thought he could not resist the devil, but he realized he had never TRIED to. It may feel strange at first, because at one point, some of us were slaves to our lustful impulses and are not used to saying no to ourselves. But as you continue to resist, you will get stronger. But Jesus is our strength and our ability not our "program" for getting free. Jesus died to give us TOTAL freedom. But we have to stop lying to ourselves and giving ourselves excuses to continue. The devil has a bag full of lies. Cling to the authority of Jesus and the written word of God. That is where your strength to overcome will come from.


Jan

Ten Ways to Break the Stronghold of Pornography

Before you go through these... have you looked at yourself under the penetrating light of God's Law? Have you come to a place of genuine repentance? Do you know that your heart is desperately wicked; that it's an enemy of God? Do you see your Adamic nature as a Judas living within you, raising his hands and crying "Master, Master," but at the same time betraying the Son of Man with a kiss? Then put that traitor to death. Never trust your own heart again. It cares for nothing but self. The instant gratification of thirty pieces of silver is better than Heaven's approval. It is self-serving, self-gratifying, and self-deceiving. It is "earthly, sensual, devilish" (James 3:15). Look at what Philippians 2:12 says about the "self" nature:

1. Would you ever take pornography to church and look at it during worship? You may as well, because God is just as present in your bedroom as He is in the church building.

2. Face the fact that you may not be saved. Examine yourself to ensure that Christ is living in you (2 Corinthians 13:5). See Romans 6:11–22; 8:1–14; Ephesians 5:3–8.)

3. Realize that when you give yourself to pornography, you are committing adultery (Matthew 5:27,28).

4. Grasp the serious nature of your sin. Jesus said that it would be better for you to be blind and go to heaven, than for your eye to cause you to sin and end up in hell (Matthew 5:29).

5. Those who profess to be Christians yet give themselves to pornographic material evidently lack the fear of God (Proverbs 16:6). Cultivate the fear of God by reading Proverbs 2:1–5.

6. Read Psalm 51 and make it your own prayer.

7. Memorize James 1:14,15 and 1 Corinthians 10:13. Follow Jesus’ example (Matthew 4:3–11) and quote the Word of God when you are tempted (see Ephesians 6:12–20).

8. Make no provision for your flesh (Romans 13:14; 1 Peter 2:11). Get rid of every access to pornographic material—the Internet, printed literature, TV, videos, and movies. But don't just stop there... you also need to begin to think about how high God's standard of holiness and purity really is. What the general public would have called "pornographic" just 60 to 70 years ago is plastered through your Sunday morning newspaper, the billboards you see on your way to work, and the magazines that line the counters at the grocery checkout. Even television commercials are filled with images that if you printed them off and stood in front of an elementary school showing them to children... you would be arrested. The fire is being fed from all different directions... not just those that the world lables as "pornographic." You must stop feeding the fire.

9. Guard your heart with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23). Don’t let the demonic realm have access to your thought-life. The Bible commands you to get control of your thoughts; read what Romans 13:14 says, "But clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for [indulging] the flesh [put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature] to [gratify its] desires (lusts)" (The Amplified Bible - bold added for emphasis). If you give yourself to it, you will become its slave (Romans 6:16). Read the Bible daily, without fail. As you submit to God, the devil will flee (James 4:7,8).

10. The next time temptation comes, do fifty push-ups, then fifty sit-ups. If you are still burning, repeat the process (see 1 Corinthians 9:27, and 1 Corinthians 7:9). This is not just a random "get your mind off it" exercise. This produces a physical reaction that is the equivalent of what is often called a "cold shower."

http://www.evidencebible.com/witnessingtool/tenwaystobreakthestrongholdporn.shtml

I have no advice to offer except for this:

Keep persevering! You can do ALL things through Jesus Christ who strengthens you.

Diane