Trauma from being poisoned from lies

[Sketcher]

I believe I got saved. I believed that Jesus died for me and rose again. And the very moment my life did a 180 change and that change wasn't from me. It also felt supernatural.

Then after that I decided to look into theology and it left me in one very confused state.

Calvinism scares the living soul out of me, my biggest fear is that I am a false convert and don't know it, and I will live my life in vain thinking I am saved when I am not, and when I am judged Jesus will say to me "You are non-elect, I only died for the elect and not you".

Then I have no choice or chance. That's my biggest fear.

I will still worship Jesus in hell anyways if it does happen. But I hope it doesn't.

The best response I can think of if it does happen is, "I would of wanted to have gotten saved, but I couldn't I was non-elect, what was I supposed to do?".

Ultra-Calvinism doesn't ring true for me. But if it's true, there's nothing we can do to change our fate, no matter which side of Heaven we're destined for, so it's literally useless to stress over. If we can repent of anything due to a chance God gave us, we should of course take it. I don't think that's Calvinism, though.

 

[Joy]

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