trapped by masturbation

[HomeChicklet]

I don't think I will ever get away from this... and it is really starting to pull me down... this is among other things and its my only way of coping with all the stuff I put up with each day and now I have to give it up too.... whats left??? I am really trying to let God stay in control but its so hard sometimes.... I am just falling apart and I need prayer and support.... I can't tell anyone in my family about this they would really really freak out....

please pray for me.....

 

[Marie D]

Hi HomeChicklet,

I feel very sad reading your post because it seems like, reading between the lines, there are other things in your life making you feel unhappy and you feel that 'm' is an escape for you, or a way of dealing with these trials.
IMHO it's important to focus on those other things, because if you give up 'm' but still feel burdoned by the things that cause you pain and unhappiness you will either slip back into that sin or find another unwholesome escape.
Are you able to tell us about the things that are making you unhappy? If you don't want to write them here but want to chat, PM me.

 

[BohemianChris]

I have a solution for you that will work, albiet it's probably unethical for me to say it.

Goto your doctor and tell him you're horribly depressed (NOT SUICIDAL), and he will put you on an antidepressant. One of the biggest side effects of antidepressants: sexual. You will lose desire, and you won't become aroused, even if you want to.

I'm sure you can get to the doctors office on your own. The doctor doesn't have to tell your parents whats going on. Anyways, having a mental illness is not a bad thing.

I know this is the best remedy, but it'll work.

Best,
Chris

 

[janny108]

I agree that M can be used as an escape for a lot of things. Also to "fill" us with what we are lacking, which is Satan's lie. The only thing that can fill us is Jesus Himself. He died on the cross so we could be FREE from anything. Get rid of anything that can precipitate the desire to M, whether it be IM's, chatrooms, romantic novels, magazines, shows etc. I did it for years and just came out of it this year. Jesus is the answer to everything; often we just need a bigger revelation of who He is.

Feel free to pm me too.

Jan

 

[Leader of the Banned]

Goto your doctor and tell him you're horribly depressed (NOT SUICIDAL), and he will put you on an antidepressant. One of the biggest side effects of antidepressants: sexual. You will lose desire, and you won't become aroused, even if you want to.

I was on Zoloft for one month and noticed the opposite effect. Got off of it in a hurry.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You're not alone. Almost everyone does this.
I honestly don't think it's an issue of great concern. Even James Dobson agrees.
You'll get this all straightened out eventually.
In the great "to-do" list of life, I put masturbation somewhere around the bottom of the pile.
You are a precious daughter of God. Nothing can change that.

 

[DollarDog]

masturbation is a big deal!! we can't beat around the bush with this topic. i don't think this lady said anything about needing more help. i would assume that she is talking about the darkness that follows after indulging in lust and sexual acts? haven't you ever felt that feeling of guilt? yes, the feeling of guilt is very real. but guilt is not a tool of love, thus it has no place in God's heart. i think that it is conviction that leads us into repentance. and repentance is called for after masturbation, it is lust. yes, it is true that God loves us no matter what!! no matter what! and how great is that blessing that we do not have to be perfect? how great is that blessing that we do no have to walk alone and hold onto all of this weight? how great is it that our friends are there to support us and to continue to carry us when we are weighed down with burdens? God's love for us is infinite! when we were far away from Jesus, we did not care to lead a lifestyle of sinful nature. now that we are close, now that we have felt the truth of God's comforting presence, we know that He is real. it becomes apparent to us that we would like to please God for giving us His only son! when i fell into the darkness of masturbation, i felt so good in doing it. but by the end, i wondered, "wow, was that really what i was wanting so badly?" that thought did not end there, but it continued follow me, haunting my days. last month i struggled with this. for the whole week i felt unable to pray, to call people, even to do my devotions. i felt unmotivated in so many aspects and bogged down. this was what followed my giving into the flesh. i'll leave off with a verse. Read Luke 11:33-36. this passage describes the lust of my eyes. there is little that i can say to you to get past this problem, because i myself have been unable to avoid it for very long. even when i escaped it one day, it made a way back into my life, and every time, i liked it, i accepted it, i did not try MY hardest to avoid it. your friends are there, they will pray for you if you let them know your struggling. just don't wait until it is said and done. stop yourself like a cold shower!! run from it! do what you can but get away from it. also, if you have things in your life you are holding onto still, a dirty movie or a magazine, get rid of em! if you leave the root, it will grow up again some time. that reminds me, i have to tear out an old root.

thanks for listening to me blab on,
dj dollar dog

 

[jezic]

Remember to focus on jesus at all times. He is the way the truth and the life.

Live the message of the gospel.

If you fall, don't let it tear you down, but refocus on Christ.

In doing this, you will unite yourself more closely with him and eventually if you strive everyday for this unity, the sin will disappear.

God bless

 

[Chajara]

You've just gotta figure out why you're doing it. Boredom, depression, and lack of physical affection from others can all contribute (those are what mainly did it for me). Add that to dealing with the after-effects of puberty and it can be nearly impossible to just quit. You have to address what's making you want it.

Do not go on medication if you're not depressed. If you are, go ahead and try it, and it might help in both departments. Try birth control as well. Both of these medications pretty much killed what was left of my sex drive after I dealt with the other causes.

Still though, I wouldn't worry about occasional masturbation. If I don't do it occasionally (once or twice a month anymore it seems) then I'll get to where I can't get sex off my mind at all. Just make sure you're not doing it constantly or else it really will start to take over and you'll have problems.

Good luck

 

[HomeChicklet]

I have been reading this a lot and have been deprived of time to respond. To tell you more about what is depressing me (yes this is why I do this.... it makes me feel free... gets me away) is my family was broken once when I was five. Both of them remarried when I was seven and I suddenly had two new sisters in a matter of two years. I was raped at 13 suicidal and moving all in the same year. I was taken from the church that I loved with all of my heart, hated God, moved couldn't find friends (still dont have too many good ones) Dad is who I live with now after raising two kids for 7 years and all dad does is yell and talk about my mom and my mom yells and talks about my dad. I don't get to see my sisters much because I am unable to really deal with my mom after so many years of hurt from her which I know is a forgivness things but thats for another time.... I see a counselor I have tried antidepresents in fact they don't work so I am fixing to be put on mood stableizers(maybe) I am slowly dieing inside and I don't know what to do... I struggled with self injury for a long time but it has been eight months but there isn't a day that goes by I don't think about it.... "M" is my only way out it seems.... my counselor doesn't know I do it nor do I intend to tell him just becuse it seem a bit wrong for me to tlak to a guy about but then again he is my counselor so I don't know. I have spent hours in the counselors office at school in the last few days because there have been suicidal thoughts (which I will NOT ACT ON) and becuase I don't have anywhere else to turn. My counselor at school and the one I see outside of school both are pretty much helpless because they can't even get me to cry anymore. The pain I feel is just numbing.... "M" is something that I wan't to give up because I feel guilty afterwards but if i take that away too then there is not SI no "M" no talking to my parents no talking to the counselor(just because he is scared and if I do act on either the SI or the suicide he has to call YDC) and my other counselor feels helpless but he keeps listening. I am lost on where to go or what to do... I trust GOd very much but at this point in time I have to talk through some things before I am really able to trust Him a lot. Make sense???

Alright I am done ranting if any of you want to email me or anything PM me and I will give you my email addy....

 

[BohemianChris]

I was on Zoloft for one month and noticed the opposite effect. Got off of it in a hurry.

Weird.

 

[Recruited4Christ]

I'm glad you're willing to share this...and I'm sure others are too...its a very difficult thing to drop, to give up...

I just got back from the beach today, and, I was miserable the whole time I was there, because there is so much perversion and sinfulness around that area...whether its the skimp bathing suits or the boardwalks with the me me me, I want this attitudes...its insane...and, it saddens me...I felt so out of place...

and don't think you're alone when you think about ur struggles, so many people struggle with this...and we'll all be prayin, or, at least I will be...one can only be accountable for themselves...unless they were omnitiant...but only God is that smart...lol

anyways, if its advice you're looking for, read you're Bible or listen to worship music whenever you have free time...I've noticed from personal experience, that sitting around doing nothing is ussually when the "urge" hits the most...don't leave urself with nothing to do...keep urself occupied and in the Word...if possible, get a small bible that you can keep in your pocket, that way, you can pull it out right away...

anyways, again, I'll be prayin...feel free to PM me if you'd rather talk in private

 

[Recruited4Christ]

I have a solution for you that will work, albiet it's probably unethical for me to say it.

Goto your doctor and tell him you're horribly depressed (NOT SUICIDAL), and he will put you on an antidepressant. One of the biggest side effects of antidepressants: sexual. You will lose desire, and you won't become aroused, even if you want to.

I'm sure you can get to the doctors office on your own. The doctor doesn't have to tell your parents whats going on. Anyways, having a mental illness is not a bad thing.

I know this is the best remedy, but it'll work.

Best,
Chris

I understand your point, but the medicines and what not won't take it away...it only coats it...Christ is the only true solution to and addiction like this

 

[janny108]

Yep that was the motive for me: to escape from unpleasant realities of life. Being depressed for a lot of us where I got my help from said they often felt depressed because of the seemingly overpowering effect of this sin. Like they could not help what they did.

But once they (I) clung to Christ consistency, had accountability and did necessary amputation they felt better about everything. Some depression needs treatment, some does not, and your doctor can make that determination if you do need meds. A lot of people are depressed, guilt ridden because of the presence of sin in their life. I've heard self esteem problems tie into this too.

Jan

 

[Recruited4Christ]

ok, I replied to this last night, but!...it doesn't seem to be on here, so , I will retype it in short terms...

try keeping a small bible with you, like, one of those world's smallest, so that, when u get this..."urge"...you can just take it out and read...also, try to keep urself occupied, I've noticed myself that these "urges" tend to come when ur not doing anything...and when ur mind tend to wonder...just keep urself in prayer, in the Word...and not bored and unoccupied...that is the best way to go about this...

I've struggled with this for a very long time...and, so many times I've cried out to God to take it away, however, I guess I'm in the same situation as Paul was in the new testament...its just that lingering thorn in my side that the Lord refuses to take away for some reason unknown to me...

but, anyways, try that, keep a bible with you all the time, and, when you see something that makes you think about "m" look away...turn it off...and go read ur bible and pray...if you stick to it you should be fine...the desire may never go away...but, Christ is your only answer to this...plus, these "urges" may just be a tool the Lord is using to draw you closer to Him, and to keep you in the Word

 

[Johnnz]

God won't take the desire away, as its rooted in your God given sex drive. Any approach to deal with masturbation must recognise that you have a normal sex drive that's developed right on cue with adolescence.

Guys will get erections and gals will experience sexual arousal and both will have sexual thoughts just by staying alive. Factor that reality into your thinking.

John
NZ

 

[julian the apostate]

from dr james dobson:



We were riding in the car, and my dad said, “Jim, when I was a boy, I worried so much about masturbation. It really became a scary thing for me because I thought God was condemning me for what I couldn’t help. So I’m telling you now that I hope you don’t feel the need to engage in this act when you reach the teen years, but if you do, you shouldn’t be too concerned about it. I don’t believe it has much to do with your relationship with God.” What a compassionate thing my father did for me that night in the car. He was a very conservative minister who never compromised his standards of morality to the day of his death. He stood like a rock for biblical principles and commandments. Yet he cared enough about me to lift from my shoulders the burden of guilt that nearly destroyed some of my friends in the church. This kind of “reasonable” faith taught to me by my parents is one of the primary reasons I never felt it necessary to rebel against parental authority or defy God.

http://www.focusonyourchild.com/dev...1/A0000553.html

 

[Humbledmac]

I know how you feel. i have my ups and downs. but what works for me is prayer. if you feel that urge coming on, stop and pray to God and ask Him to help you. i don't know anything about medicine, but why rely on a pill when you can call on the healer

 

[CowboyDan]

Back to the Zoloft issue, I take 100mg's of Zoloft a day (Not because of sexual reasons) I have found I dont have the sexual urges as much.

-CowboyDan

 

[Inperfected]

Hmm.. my question is do you have a boyfriend? And also what is pushing to do these "things"?

I find that when i've been intimate (in a nonsexual way) with the boyfriend i find it hard for a few days, and also if i've read or seen something dodge...