Train up a child in the way he should go...

[Emsmom1]

As a new believer, I am coming to terms with certain things-like the fact that I did not, in fact, train up my child (daughter) in the way she should go. There were some half-hearted attempts at church attendance and we did send her to a Christian school, but neither my husband nor I were believers at the time (my husband is a believer in the efficacy of religion to encourage people to "be better" but is not an actual believer in Jesus). I know there is not much I can do about this now, as she is 21 and will be returning to college on the east coast in January. The guilt, however, is difficult. She does seem a little interested in my new-found faith (I found her looking through my books) but I don't know how or if to broach the subject with her. I always hated it when my parents tried to discuss religion with me.
I just wish I had done a lot of things differently...

 

[archer75]

As a new believer, I am coming to terms with certain things-like the fact that I did not, in fact, train up my child (daughter) in the way she should go. There were some half-hearted attempts at church attendance and we did send her to a Christian school, but neither my husband nor I were believers at the time (my husband is a believer in the efficacy of religion to encourage people to "be better" but is not an actual believer in Jesus). I know there is not much I can do about this now, as she is 21 and will be returning to college on the east coast in January. The guilt, however, is difficult. She does seem a little interested in my new-found faith (I found her looking through my books) but I don't know how or if to broach the subject with her. I always hated it when my parents tried to discuss religion with me.
I just wish I had done a lot of things differently...

You can't go back, but you can do the best you can now.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

She does seem a little interested in my new-found faith (I found her looking through my books)

HALLELUYAH ! ... the tiniest seed can grow as GOD GIVES GROWTH ! (HE Says SO!) (and "LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO! )

 

[Lost4words]

Tell her about this site. She may join and get interested in Christianity.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Tell her about this site. She may join and get interested in Christianity.

I met many people (both believers and unbelievers) who got fed up with forums, in 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, or 3 months.
They did not like all the errors and fighting of all kinds permitted.
Not many (I met or asked or saw) think it is a good site to learn about the truth.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @Emsmom1, I agree with the advice that Archer and Jeff gave you in the first couple of posts above, and I will also recommend to you what my mother (along with her ladies Bible study) did so faithfully for me for years (when I was a non-Christian in college and beyond), they continually prayed for my salvation, and I will always be thankful to them for doing so

This is one of the very best things that you can do for your daughter too.

God bless you!

--David
p.s. - "You are the light of the world" .. Matthew 5:14-16, that's what the Lord said about you (and all of us who are now His), so pray & ask the Lord how you can be the light (and "salt" .. v13) that your daughter needs you to be

Matthew 4
19 Jesus said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
.​

 

[Sketcher]

As a new believer, I am coming to terms with certain things-like the fact that I did not, in fact, train up my child (daughter) in the way she should go. There were some half-hearted attempts at church attendance and we did send her to a Christian school, but neither my husband nor I were believers at the time (my husband is a believer in the efficacy of religion to encourage people to "be better" but is not an actual believer in Jesus). I know there is not much I can do about this now, as she is 21 and will be returning to college on the east coast in January. The guilt, however, is difficult. She does seem a little interested in my new-found faith (I found her looking through my books) but I don't know how or if to broach the subject with her. I always hated it when my parents tried to discuss religion with me.
I just wish I had done a lot of things differently...

Don't forget to tell her that you're learning. If there's anything her generation values, it's authentic honesty.

Her own faith journey will be separate from yours. The best thing you can do to witness now is to allow yourself to be corrected by the Holy Spirit. At 21, she has a good nose for where you're not perfect. She may well judge your authenticity by how much you change in those areas. Pray for her also.

 

[Aussie Pete]

As a new believer, I am coming to terms with certain things-like the fact that I did not, in fact, train up my child (daughter) in the way she should go. There were some half-hearted attempts at church attendance and we did send her to a Christian school, but neither my husband nor I were believers at the time (my husband is a believer in the efficacy of religion to encourage people to "be better" but is not an actual believer in Jesus). I know there is not much I can do about this now, as she is 21 and will be returning to college on the east coast in January. The guilt, however, is difficult. She does seem a little interested in my new-found faith (I found her looking through my books) but I don't know how or if to broach the subject with her. I always hated it when my parents tried to discuss religion with me.
I just wish I had done a lot of things differently...

You can't turn back the clock. Regret and self hate is not helpful. Being full of love, joy and peace will be a better witness to your daughter and your husband. I know how hard it is to forgive anyone and that includes ourselves. The article at this link will help you. Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston

 

[AllDayFaith]

I just wish I had done a lot of things differently...

We all wish we could have done something differently, don't worry about that. I am having a hard time talking to the people around me about Jesus as well. I guess God will draw them through us when the time is right.

 

[Greengardener]

I'm just another mom with adult kids, and here's what came to mind when I read your post. You decide if it fits and is useful.

I would agree that honesty, prayer, and just loving your daughter are the strongest tools in your toolbox right now. In the same way it took time for you to be convinced, yet when the truth lit up inside what a dynamic change it made, your daughter who is made in the image of God as a free thinking person, has the same potential ahead of her and may already be thirsty for it. Your life is salt now. Sprinkle on enough to keep her thirst whetted, but not enough to dehydrate her, lol! Your honest responses will sometimes look like you are coaxing a desperate person off the edge and may at times look like your hand are on your hips saying "You know better than that!" Let your conversation be under-girded with love and seasoned with salt. Sounds to me like you're in for an exciting adventure now. I feel hopeful about your post.

 

[Lost4words]

I met many people (both believers and unbelievers) who got fed up with forums, in 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, or 3 months.
They did not like all the errors and fighting of all kinds permitted.
Not many (I met or asked or saw) think it is a good site to learn about the truth.

Everyone is different though.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Everyone is different though.

As written, with 2 or 3 witnesses let everything be confirmed. A lot more witnesses confirmed the uncomfortable truth. Month after month, year after year. .....

 

[tturt]

By her looking at your books, she's interested but I wouldnt say anything unless she asks Trust that God is drawing her and let Him. (John 6:44)

Agree that the forums might not be a good idea.

 

[RoseyViolet]

As a new believer, I am coming to terms with certain things-like the fact that I did not, in fact, train up my child (daughter) in the way she should go. There were some half-hearted attempts at church attendance and we did send her to a Christian school, but neither my husband nor I were believers at the time (my husband is a believer in the efficacy of religion to encourage people to "be better" but is not an actual believer in Jesus). I know there is not much I can do about this now, as she is 21 and will be returning to college on the east coast in January. The guilt, however, is difficult. She does seem a little interested in my new-found faith (I found her looking through my books) but I don't know how or if to broach the subject with her. I always hated it when my parents tried to discuss religion with me.
I just wish I had done a lot of things differently...

First of all, it's never to late to "train up a child", it's just that training takes on a different role kind of like sharing with a friend your excitement of your newfound beliefs. We too have a 21 yo daughter, at this stage they are looking for a real relationship, in every relationship in life. You showing her through your faith the reality of the changes in your heart and the "why" of your need for a savior should speak loudest to her of all.
Condemnation and guilt and regret are not from the Lord. In fact, He says in His word, there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so lay those feelings at the foot of the cross and ask Him to lead you in what to say and how to act around your daughter.
He knows her best and knows what will get through to her. Perhaps asking her while she's home if she would like to go to church with you, or asking her if she'd like to do a long distance study with you of a particular women's devotional where you two could meet up by phone once a week to discuss answers to questions. Just bonding time will help a ton. Don't put to much pressure or expectations on it, just be natural in all your interactions and pray without ceasing. A mother's prayers for her children are always heard! Praying for you Mom!!

 

[Swan7]

It's not about religion, but a relationship with your Creator, King, and Saviour. God has always desired a relationship rather than religion. The Pharisees had religion and thought they had eternal life from scriptures, but scripture foretells of Jesus' coming - and some of them missed it! John 5:39-47

Don't dwell on regrets (I'm sure we've all had this, even myself) because Jesus Christ has forgiven us when we go to Him for a change of heart. All we can do is move forward, growing in the Lord and share the Gospel to those who will hear it. Revelation 2:29, Matthew 11:15