Touchy question...

[c1ners]

No, it's not fair to him. But at the time I wasn't thinking of him, but instead of my baby daughter, and of what I thought I had to do for her. I know now that it was wrong, but it's already done. I may not love my present husband as much as my first, but I would never let him be aware of it. I give him all the love I can. He is a very good man, but unfortunatly he is not a very good husband or father. This is why my daughter doesn't want him to walk her down the aisle.

I just wish I had someone to talk to before I went and did what I did. Instead I was constantly told by my family that I was being selfish to my daughter for not wanting to be with another man.

I guess all I was trying to say is this: If you feel you're ready, than it's okay, but please don't let any one tell you that you need a man in your life. From what I've read, you are all very strong women. My heart goes out to all of you for what you've been through.

God Bless.

 

[Bevlina]

I'm sad he's not a good husband or father. Nobody should be pushed into doing something they're not absolutely certain of especially WHERE a child is concerned. I know I won't allow anyone to tell me I need a man in my life and there are no children involved here.

 

[Sungar]

I too at times when alone just end up sobbing; driving the car or walking around my yard. I live in a rural area and there aren't many people here in the winter.

I have three friends one single gal and a couple but they have their own lives. They try to enclude me when possible. We only moved up here 3 years ago.

I don't want to move as Gary's body was cremated and we plan to have a ceremony with the ashes and put them in the lake as that was what he wanted. Plus this is home; sometimes though I feel like I don't have a home. It brings to mind the hymn "This world is not my home, I'm just a passing through; If heaven weren't my home; Oh Lord what would I do!"

I can't move back to where we were raised as that definately isn't home. I don't want to move where my kids live as they live in a large city. So this will probably remain the place I stay. I don't like to think about it too much as it is too soon.

I definely haven't thought about dating; and am sure I never will as I am 63 and set in my ways and 45 years with the same guy; it would be hard to date.

 

[Hisbygrace]

My husband Buck has been gone for three years now and I have not dated yet either.
Sometimes I think I would like to meet a good man, because I do get really lonely at times. I am letting it rest in the Lord's hand. If He wants me to meet someone I am trusting Him to bring them to me.

 

[JoyAbounds]

Hello Everybody

I wanted to post to this thread because I thought something was wrong with me. My dear Husband lost his life behind the wheel of a car five years ago. I have absolutely no desire to date or have a relationship no matter how innocent it is. I am busy with my 85 year old Mom who lives with me and I feel this is where the Lord wants me to be right now. We do everything together. She's slowing down and needs me with her for those things she simply can't do for herself anymore.
If and when The Lord wants me to enter into a relationship He will show me the way. I have jokingly said to many of my friends that question me as to why I don't date yet that if the Lord wants me to have someone in my life, He'll have me fall on my face at his feet. I am content with where I am right now, and am waiting on the Lord for my next assignment.

Judy

 

[awesome liver]

how soon is too soon to ask someone out who's lost a fiance? yeah this seems a bit callow but i didn't know either of them when it happened and well, yeah. that's my question.

 

[kato1265]

I would never dine out alone, and I'd never go to a movie alone. I have wonderful friends and can travel anywhere. I know all our lives are in God's Hands, married or single Praise God!

I think it just depends on your specific situation. My late husband was seriously ill for two years before his death. We were only married four years total. The last six months of his life, he was on morphine and darvocet (?) 24/7 ... in and out of the hospital so many times that the nurses knew me by name. I'd go into the emergency room and they'd start handing me stuff to do ...

My husband encouraged me to have friends - both male and female - and because I was only 39 when he died, he often told me that he didn't want me to spend the rest of my life alone. He was my best friend in all the world and because of our deep bond, which was not at all sexual during the past two years - he truly wanted my happiness.

I was never unfaithful to him and his death devastated me - but when I finished grieving, I moved forward. If I hadn't spent so much time alone in the year preceding his death and if he had not prepared me for his death - I probably would not have been able to do that. He was a truly remarkable man in every sense of the word.

 

[LostWithoutYou]

I have been widowed for three years next week. I have several friends that are widows(ers). We were fortunate that in our area there is a support group for young widow(ers). All of these widow(ers) have each reached a different level of their grief. Some started dating earlier than others and some haven't even attempted it. It is truly are personal choice. You are the only person who knows when you have accepted that your spouse is not coming back. Some of us took months, some took a year, as for myself it took about year and a half. We will always love our deceased spouse but we also know that they would want us to live a happy life. Whatever you do, you make the decision. Do not let others tell you it's too soon or get out there and find someone new. There are no magic numbers. It's all about you having the blessing of peace from God to move on. Pray often for his guidance and peace. When it is his will that person will just be there. Let God bring that person to you.

May God Bless You and Keep You

 

[kato1265]

I have been widowed for three years next week. I have several friends that are widows(ers). We were fortunate that in our area there is a support group for young widow(ers). All of these widow(ers) have each reached a different level of their grief. Some started dating earlier than others and some haven't even attempted it. It is truly are personal choice. You are the only person who knows when you have accepted that your spouse is not coming back. Some of us took months, some took a year, as for myself it took about year and a half. We will always love our deceased spouse but we also know that they would want us to live a happy life. Whatever you do, you make the decision. Do not let others tell you it's too soon or get out there and find someone new. There are no magic numbers. It's all about you having the blessing of peace from God to move on. Pray often for his guidance and peace. When it is his will that person will just be there. Let God bring that person to you.

May God Bless You and Keep You

Lost - that was awesome - thanks

 

[leanne708]

i think after my experience .i will not date again .Because I know I could die sooner then normal .It just puts things in perspective for me.Im focusing on my daughters and gods work.Trusting someone would also be hard.

 

[Manna]

I don't know that I'll never be in another relationship. I'm young and I will hopefully have many years ahead of me. But I do know that for the time being, I have no desire to get into a relationship. There's simply no time or energy!! I know how much work a marriage takes, and right now I just don't have it in me. That may sound like a terribly selfish thing to say, but I think it's better to admit that then to rush into another relationship and spread myself too thin, where I can't bless anyone.

My priority right now is to be the mother to our daughter that I am to be...any future relationship will happen in God's timing, and He'll have to be the One that orchestrates it!