Torn between two Churches

[HalupkiMonster]

I am torn, and need some advice!

I was a member of an Eastern Orthodox Church for the last four years. I converted when I was 14 (now 18.) I left the Church around 17, when I realized I wasn't as conservative enough to meet this Church's expectations. I now see that this is a silly reason to leave a Church, as Orthodox Christianity is for people of all political stripes. My sexual orientation is also an issue, and I'm told by the Orthodox Church that married life or celibacy is a path to holiness. As marriage is only between men and women, and I don't want to be a monk, this is an issue that I face. I then left this Church.

I then started attending another Church. It is an Episcopal Church. This Church has things that are extremely un-Orthodox. One such thing is female priests (who I LOVE SO MUCH!!!) I now have no objection to female priesthood. Another thing is open communion. All baptized Christians can receive holy communion, which meant that I (and my family of different denominations) could receive communion. I loved this, because it didn't make me feel separate from my Christian brothers and sisters. We're all Christians, and are all invited to Christ's table.

This Episcopal Church is also so much larger and active. They are far more involved with charity. They are extremely open-minded and accepting, so they have people from all walks of life. It doesn't make me feel like the gay one.

When I left the Orthodox Church, I did it in the worst way possible. I didn't tell anyone where I was, I sort of just went "MIA" for months and months. This denomination has an "our way or the highway" attitude, so I couldn't expect them to understand. I did this the wrong way, I now see.

When I returned to Church, I explained things to Father. He was happy I'm back, and I have to go two months without Holy Communion, to make sure I'm committed to Orthodoxy. I'm so happy to be back in this Church, with the people I love, but I can't help but wonder if this other Church is where I'm meant to be.

I'm stuck between a traditional Church full of people that love me and a more liberal Church that really lives out Christ's message of charity and tolerance.

I went back to this Orthodox Church a month ago, and will also be attending the Episcopal one every once in a while. I just have so much trouble deciding what I want. I don't want to disappoint anyone, and that has been my downfall since I was little. I'm making it clear to both priests that I am unsure what Church I want to attend, and they both respect my journey (though I expect the Orthodox priest will be a bit more pushy when it comes to his Church when I tell him that I'm unsure of my convictions, but such is the Orthodox faith.)

What do you think?

 

[WisdomTree]

<edit>

I am torn, and need some advice!

I was a member of an Eastern Orthodox Church for the last four years. I converted when I was 14 (now 18.) I left the Church around 17, when I realized I wasn't as conservative enough to meet this Church's expectations. I now see that this is a silly reason to leave a Church, as Orthodox Christianity is for people of all political stripes. My sexual orientation is also an issue, and I'm told by the Orthodox Church that married life or celibacy is a path to holiness. As marriage is only between men and women, and I don't want to be a monk, this is an issue that I face. I then left this Church.

I then started attending another Church. It is an Episcopal Church. This Church has things that are extremely un-Orthodox. One such thing is female priests (who I LOVE SO MUCH!!!) I now have no objection to female priesthood. Another thing is open communion. All baptized Christians can receive holy communion, which meant that I (and my family of different denominations) could receive communion. I loved this, because it didn't make me feel separate from my Christian brothers and sisters. We're all Christians, and are all invited to Christ's table.

This Episcopal Church is also so much larger and active. They are far more involved with charity. They are extremely open-minded and accepting, so they have people from all walks of life. It doesn't make me feel like the gay one.

When I left the Orthodox Church, I did it in the worst way possible. I didn't tell anyone where I was, I sort of just went "MIA" for months and months. This denomination has an "our way or the highway" attitude, so I couldn't expect them to understand. I did this the wrong way, I now see.

When I returned to Church, I explained things to Father. He was happy I'm back, and I have to go two months without Holy Communion, to make sure I'm committed to Orthodoxy. I'm so happy to be back in this Church, with the people I love, but I can't help but wonder if this other Church is where I'm meant to be.

I'm stuck between a traditional Church full of people that love me and a more liberal Church that really lives out Christ's message of charity and tolerance.

I went back to this Orthodox Church a month ago, and will also be attending the Episcopal one every once in a while. I just have so much trouble deciding what I want. I don't want to disappoint anyone, and that has been my downfall since I was little. I'm making it clear to both priests that I am unsure what Church I want to attend, and they both respect my journey (though I expect the Orthodox priest will be a bit more pushy when it comes to his Church when I tell him that I'm unsure of my convictions, but such is the Orthodox faith.)

What do you think?

Hi! How's it going?

I will never know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I maybe able to understand and perhaps even help you on this ordeal.

It would seem that the biggest trouble you are going through is your sexual orientation, correct? As you know in most Christian denominations especially the old traditional ones, do not condemn homosexual orientation as a sin since one hardly has a choice in the matter. However, acting upon these urges is considered an abomination to the Lord as it is explicitly stated in scripture. That being said, it may seem rather unfair, but remember that life itself is unfair. What can be said about you is that you carry an extra burden if you will along your life journey in faith which my priest likes to call "to carry the cross". Though you may receive more suffering than norm, you will be rewarded for it, and remember you do not journey alone.

Considering your situation, it may seem very attractive to attend churches that teach liberal theology such as the Episcopal Church. Though they do good things such as being charitable and accepting, they also cause a lot of damage to the faithful by compromising the truth which is so fundamental to Christianity. By changing the truths they are essentially destroying the foundation thus causing an impediment to salvation.

The Eastern Orthodox Church is some of the most traditional church you'll come across. Their "our way or the highway" approach is mostly from their intense desire to defend the truth set forth by Christ by refusing to compromise on anything which may come across as rather arragont, backwards, and cold. However, you must remember that these Christians as well as the Oriental Orthodox Church has gone through centuries worth of persecution and some still are going through it unlike their western counterparts, and as such they have little choice, but to preserve what they have.

Overall, what I want to get at is that when you decide on which church to go to, it shouldn't be a matter of "which of these conform to me the best", but rather "which of these hold the most truth".

 

[Albion]

I am torn, and need some advice!

I was a member of an Eastern Orthodox Church for the last four years. I converted when I was 14 (now 18.) I left the Church around 17, when I realized I wasn't as conservative enough to meet this Church's expectations. I now see that this is a silly reason to leave a Church, as Orthodox Christianity is for people of all political stripes. My sexual orientation is also an issue, and I'm told by the Orthodox Church that married life or celibacy is a path to holiness. As marriage is only between men and women, and I don't want to be a monk, this is an issue that I face. I then left this Church.

I then started attending another Church. It is an Episcopal Church. This Church has things that are extremely un-Orthodox. One such thing is female priests (who I LOVE SO MUCH!!!) I now have no objection to female priesthood. Another thing is open communion. All baptized Christians can receive holy communion, which meant that I (and my family of different denominations) could receive communion. I loved this, because it didn't make me feel separate from my Christian brothers and sisters. We're all Christians, and are all invited to Christ's table.

I can appreciate the problem. One thing that strikes me immediately is that you are torn between one of the most traditional/conservative churches in all Christendom and another that is one of the most modernistic/liberal in all of Christendom.

I wonder if there is any "third way" that would work for you. This would, however, mean finding one that's sufficiently liberal as to take a "gay friendly" approach, among other things, and it would also mean starting over and leaving the friends and experiences of both of the other two which, for different reasons, you love. Unless you are willing to live in the closet for good, I'd think the Episcopal Church would "work" the best for you in the long run. I say "work" because I'm taking correct doctrine strictly out of the question and only approaching this on the basis of what makes you feel OK.

 

[HalupkiMonster]

Thank you, Albion and WisdomTree, for your answers. <edit>

My sexual orientation isn't such a stumbling block for me. Though in the media people with same sex attraction have a lifetime of struggle with it, I don't. I'm just me. I like who I like. It's really not as much a big deal as one would think. If I remain in the Orthodox Church, I'll still date who I like and all of that. I mean, there are Orthodox Christians who date and have sex outside of marriage, drink, do drugs, and all manner of things. The Church isn't for the perfect, but a hospital for sinners.

Anywhoo, though the Episcopal Church does have more of a liberal stance on things, being on the inside I can report that there are people of all opinions. There are conservative and liberal Episcopalians, and they are all accepting of each other. Being on the more liberal side of things, I like this. I don't want to be in a completely homogeneous Church of liberals, so it's amazing to have a Church of people from so many points of view.

I just find myself much more in agreement with the Episcopal Church on many things, and more and more bored of the Orthodox Church's rigid point of view. I mean, the women priests at the Episcopal Church were so holy and Christ-like. I was expecting them to be some sort of hardcore feminist, putting their own agenda in their sermons instead of Christ's word. But they turned out to be so different.

I also LOVE Episcopal hierarchy such as Bp. Gene Robinson and Catherine Jefforts Schori, the head of the American arm of the Anglican Communion. They have a fantastic way of showing us how Christ's love and compassion is infinite.

I like the Orthodox Church because of the people in it, who had become my family. I also started to miss the Eastern liturgy very much. It is so beautiful. I also find some comfort in the fact that the views of the Orthodox Church will never change, and that they're not afraid to be conservative amungst the pressure of society to become more liberal.

The Episcopal Church seems to represent Christ in the community much more than the OC. I'm still just so unsure, as the Orthodox Church still seems like my Church. I love it, even if I can't agree to everything they profess.

I think that writing this has really helped me make up my mind, thanks!!!

 

[ButterflyPoette]

The more liberal a church is, the more gay-friendly it is.

Could you consider the United Methodists? They are very open to having gay members.

I think the Episcopal Church seems better for you than the other one. Yet you can also look at other groups.

 

[jannikitty]

By what you wrote in your last post sounds like you have determined the path for you to follow and likely you can be an asset to others there who find themselves in the same type of situation and want to feel at home in their church. But I can surely relate to the beauty of the Orthodox liturgy and see why it is difficult to move away from that.

The real thing is to keep praying and making sure you are where God wants you to be rather than where you simply want to be. (Although the two can be the same if you are praying and hearing from the Lord.)

I went through a church choice thing some years ago only my situation was different since I am straight, married, and elderly. Even though one church seemed to be my cup of tea and an easy place to be after much prayer I chose a newer path based upon what I knew I really believed biblically not on what I had been taught by various denominational viewpoints. It was a major adjustment as my husband didn't come along with it at first. But as time has gone on and we have worked at it we are so glad we made the decision. Not perfect as any church but surely where we have the certainty that the Lord wants us to be.

Prayers you make just the right decision and have God's peace as you do.

 

[artqween]

I am torn, and need some advice!

I was a member of an Eastern Orthodox Church for the last four years. I converted when I was 14 (now 18.) I left the Church around 17, when I realized I wasn't as conservative enough to meet this Church's expectations. I now see that this is a silly reason to leave a Church, as Orthodox Christianity is for people of all political stripes. My sexual orientation is also an issue, and I'm told by the Orthodox Church that married life or celibacy is a path to holiness. As marriage is only between men and women, and I don't want to be a monk, this is an issue that I face. I then left this Church.

I then started attending another Church. It is an Episcopal Church. This Church has things that are extremely un-Orthodox. One such thing is female priests (who I LOVE SO MUCH!!!) I now have no objection to female priesthood. Another thing is open communion. All baptized Christians can receive holy communion, which meant that I (and my family of different denominations) could receive communion. I loved this, because it didn't make me feel separate from my Christian brothers and sisters. We're all Christians, and are all invited to Christ's table.

This Episcopal Church is also so much larger and active. They are far more involved with charity. They are extremely open-minded and accepting, so they have people from all walks of life. It doesn't make me feel like the gay one.

When I left the Orthodox Church, I did it in the worst way possible. I didn't tell anyone where I was, I sort of just went "MIA" for months and months. This denomination has an "our way or the highway" attitude, so I couldn't expect them to understand. I did this the wrong way, I now see.

When I returned to Church, I explained things to Father. He was happy I'm back, and I have to go two months without Holy Communion, to make sure I'm committed to Orthodoxy. I'm so happy to be back in this Church, with the people I love, but I can't help but wonder if this other Church is where I'm meant to be.

I'm stuck between a traditional Church full of people that love me and a more liberal Church that really lives out Christ's message of charity and tolerance.

I went back to this Orthodox Church a month ago, and will also be attending the Episcopal one every once in a while. I just have so much trouble deciding what I want. I don't want to disappoint anyone, and that has been my downfall since I was little. I'm making it clear to both priests that I am unsure what Church I want to attend, and they both respect my journey (though I expect the Orthodox priest will be a bit more pushy when it comes to his Church when I tell him that I'm unsure of my convictions, but such is the Orthodox faith.)

What do you think?

How about combining the two?? Make them as one?? hi btw plezd to meet u
My friend .

Who wants some delish cupcakes and hot coco?? Plenty for everyone...

 

[Genocyber]

Face the same problem... Now im looking for a church to go to also

 

[artqween]

Face the same problem... Now im looking for a church to go to also

???

 

[Paul Benjamin Russell]

HalupkiMonster's post was not Focusing on the Sexual but some others seemed to want to make it all about the Sexual distracting fully from the Broadness of the Origin Post!!

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Go to Church where you feel comfortable
but, be sure they stick to the Bible.

Sounds like with your case this may be hard?

M-Bob

 

[tampasteve]

MOD HAT ON

This thread is now closed. The OP was from 2013 and the Looking for a Church forum is not intended to have posts brought back from a long dead state.

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