it just sucks that it took 16 months of my life for her too finally end it but the whole time we were just friends to her. i sensed a one sided relationship but was so much in love i never did anything about it.
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Too Young
- Thread starter f U z ! o N
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Shazamataz
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I was in a similar situation a few years ago and it took me many years to get over it. I thought I loved him, but he never cared for me at all!! That hurt so much... and did some damage emotionally.HOWEVER, God did heal my heart and even better he gave me such a beautiful man to love!!! I did not look for him, in fact I never thought we would be together. God had other plans, and we are in a serious relationship trying to find out if we are meant to be married! My advice to you is... dont despair. Trust God. Don't go looking for a wife, but trust God and wait on Him to bring you one. He will... in HIS timing. That was the biggest lesson for me... I was so lonely.. so desperate for God to bring me a husband, and I think that maybe He has. Remember, God's timing is PERFECT!!!! But be prepared to wait.. because there is probably a lot of issues you need to work through with God as a result of the hurt you experienced. There is probably trust issues there and other things. Be patient, and allow God to work in your life. GOD'S TIMING IS PERFECT!!! Never EVER forget that!
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SoC
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*has only read the first post*
Buddy, you don't know how hard it is. I was 17 desiring a lasting relationship. I never even went on a date until January of this year. Why? I waited for God to bring a girl into my life; He didn't do that until I had really turned to him and devoted my life to Him.
When you wait for God's timing, it will be infinitely better than anything you can imagine. You don't have to give up women, just be friendly to them and pray seriously before you start a relationship. Ask God to make it clear to you if you are supposed to have a realtionship with whoever you are praying about. He will make it clear. "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you."
Many people get the desire for something confused with the need to do it. You may have a desire to have a relationship which is good. But it may not be God's timing yet. Jesus had a desire for ministry when he was here (as evidenced by his teaching at 12 years old), but it wasn't God's timing until he was 30ish. Don't rush into things. Focus on God and getting right with Him first, then he will bring the woman He wants you to marry into your life when you're ready.
Buddy, you don't know how hard it is. I was 17 desiring a lasting relationship. I never even went on a date until January of this year. Why? I waited for God to bring a girl into my life; He didn't do that until I had really turned to him and devoted my life to Him.
When you wait for God's timing, it will be infinitely better than anything you can imagine. You don't have to give up women, just be friendly to them and pray seriously before you start a relationship. Ask God to make it clear to you if you are supposed to have a realtionship with whoever you are praying about. He will make it clear. "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you."
Many people get the desire for something confused with the need to do it. You may have a desire to have a relationship which is good. But it may not be God's timing yet. Jesus had a desire for ministry when he was here (as evidenced by his teaching at 12 years old), but it wasn't God's timing until he was 30ish. Don't rush into things. Focus on God and getting right with Him first, then he will bring the woman He wants you to marry into your life when you're ready.
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HolyOne87
Call Me A Sinner, Call Me A Saint..
f U z ! o N said:
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! I just went through that not too long ago with my ex. He also just wants to have fun at his age(he's 18). And I am 19 and I want serious stuff. I dont want some quick relationship. I am in a relationship now, but I made this guy well aware about how I am BEFORE we went out. Maybe if you find a girl along the line, you will explain your feelings to her..explaining that you are one who wants long, meaningful, and serious relationships. But before that, you do get to know her super well and figure out exactly how her personality is(like is she a partier, etc).
I do agree trying to find a true love at our age is impossible, but I still try. I mean, not dating is fine. Gives you time to be more in tune with you and stuff which is wonderful. And I am sure, in time, you will meet someone just like you, who wants what you wants.
I was scared myself to give my heart to my current boyfriend(i still am, slightly because im still a tad iffy on dating again after a long term one just ending--it was 3 years long--he didnt really want to be with me either--he was only in it for lustful reasons mostly). But, he is also looking for someone who is serious about being in a relationship(he is almost 22), so thats why i started to date again. I only gave an exception to him.
But I am sure in time you will have someone who will want a long term and loving relationship. I do understand its hard now, especially with teens these days. Take as much time as you feel to find that one for you. It takes time, but im sure it will happen. You just live your life to the fullest. The right one will come, in time, as i said.
I shall pray that God helps you stay focused on the most important things in your life rather than the unimportant for now.
**yeah not one of my greatest posts..sorry about that**
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f U z ! o N said:
IMO if you're 18 and don't want to get married until 25, you have no business dating. Dating is with the purpose of finding someone to marry, not to get some kind of jolly thrill because you are in a "long term serious relationship." This is not a badge you wear, and the idea that you might risk other people's heart in this way scares me. When you are ready to marry, then you are ready to date. Give up the idea of a long term relationship as a status symbol and enjoy your singleness until you are more ready for marriage. There's nothing wrong with waiting.
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sigh..once again poor fuzion has made his posts unclear. its not that i want to get married at 25 its that logically it is probably going to be around that age before it happens due to school and jobs and such. I want to date someone at least 2-3 years to really get to know them at all before I consider marrying them and yes thats even if God says they are the one. That will give me time to get finances and life in order. have given up dating now and enjoying the single life. i gave it all to God and i don't care. i want to just spend time becoming the man i need to be. she'll come when its Gods timing. but i guess i probably shouldn't date until im like 21 or so. thats fine.Leanna said:
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barefeetonholyground
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Hey that's fine but I agree with Leanna, you shouldn't be dating right now and enjoy being single. even though you may want 2-3 years of dating, you don't want to get married for another 7 years so why don't you enjoy the next four?f U z ! o N said:
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Good to hear you've decided to wait on God's timing.f U z ! o N said:
One point - although you are now of the mind that "she'll come when its Gods timing", you are still making plans around this:
"its not that i want to get married at 25 its that logically it is probably going to be around that age"
"I want to date someone at least 2-3 years"
"That will give me time to get finances and life in order"
"but i guess i probably shouldn't date until im like 21 or so"
These statements are all planning for how your relationships / marriage will go, in one way or another. You say "i gave it all to God", and you feel that you have. I am not criticising you at all, but thought I would point out that the statements I have quoted do not say you have given it all to God.
Don't make these plans at the moment. Don't say "I shouldn't date till I'm 21", or you might miss the right girl if God gives her to you before then, or start looking for her at 22 wondering why you aren't dating yet. Don't say you would like time to "get finances and life in order" - God's plan may be for you to marry with no money and live off the smell of an oily rag for a few years (I am doing that and its the best decision I made in my life).
Hand it ALL over to God. His plans may be completely different to how you feel it will go. But His plans are perfect. Be open to them.
Best wishes for the future!
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Inperfected
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2-3 years is dangerous often, because realistically hormones kick in ALOT quicker than that.... My suggestion would be a REAL close friendship for say 2 years, then .5-1 year dating, then around a year engaged.
My suggestion for friendship comes from the fact that you get to know someone better that way, in a slow more realistic manner.
My suggestion for friendship comes from the fact that you get to know someone better that way, in a slow more realistic manner.
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you know, you are right. I thought i had given it to God but i guess I haven't by making my own plans. thanks for telling me that!sjdennis said:
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ByLoveAndGrace
Engaged 12/24/2006 Getting Married 10/13/2007
Another thing maybe that you might want to consider, is what is your reason for desiring this long term relationship? If it isn't for marriage, then there is still something there your heart is longing for. I would try to find out what that is, and let God fill that longing.
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allthatisgone
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"is it wise to just give up women and dating alltogether for the next 3 years so people can grow up and desire a long term relationship instead of just friends crap?"
Of course it is. When will people cease to take a shopping attitude on this matter and consider God's plan for their lives! The more you care about someone, the more you care what they think, and gaining their approval in different matters. In this way, the closer you are to God, the more you'll want His approval and want His thoughts on your future spouse and take the path that'll most please Him and be best for you both individually and together. Would it be best for you and him/her, if you went thru dozens of different ppl before you got to him/her, and had intimate connections with such ppl on any level, emotionally and physically, that you should've saved for the one that's rite for you and is such a big part of God's plan for your life? If marriage is such a big and important issue, as it is, then why are we not more careful when it comes to dealing with hearts and crossing physical boundaries. YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS getting intimate with someone God might have chosen for SOMEONE ELSE and NOT YOU. And the same for whoever might be with or going after whoever that He's got in mind for YOU.
Of course it is. When will people cease to take a shopping attitude on this matter and consider God's plan for their lives! The more you care about someone, the more you care what they think, and gaining their approval in different matters. In this way, the closer you are to God, the more you'll want His approval and want His thoughts on your future spouse and take the path that'll most please Him and be best for you both individually and together. Would it be best for you and him/her, if you went thru dozens of different ppl before you got to him/her, and had intimate connections with such ppl on any level, emotionally and physically, that you should've saved for the one that's rite for you and is such a big part of God's plan for your life? If marriage is such a big and important issue, as it is, then why are we not more careful when it comes to dealing with hearts and crossing physical boundaries. YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS getting intimate with someone God might have chosen for SOMEONE ELSE and NOT YOU. And the same for whoever might be with or going after whoever that He's got in mind for YOU.
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