TOO Selective?!?!

[Spicy McHaggis]

Irrelevant but serious question. Is it dumb to wait on someone?

From my experience both waiting and being waited for, yes, it's dumb to wait on someone.

If you still have feelings for someone though, that alone should keep you out of other relationships because it's not fair to use the new person like that.

 

[Alenci]

From my perspective, whether or not I have feelings for him is really not as significant as whether or not I allow myself to think about the future. I don't want to sabotage a wonderful friendship to quash some feelings of infatuation. But I am definitely not respecting the friendship if I am focused on dating him later.

In other words, I need to take things day by day. I try to leave it in the Lord's hands.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I get you.

I just think that if I was dating a girl who was still waiting on someone else it wouldn't get serious, I'd be looking for something else the whole time too.

 

[Niels]

Sometimes I'll wonder if I'll ever find anyone. It took me 19 years to find someone I found worthy to date. And after I'd known him for about 9 months he decided he didn't want any relationships at least during college, and broke up with me. We are friends now and have been for 3-4 months, although it's a struggle for both of us to walk that line. So I pine for him day in and day out, which is probably a little ridiculous.

I think my problem is that I am TOO selective... I see people dating person after person, and I couldn't imagine doing that... but surely I can find more than one person, can't I? Yet on the other hand, selectivity seems to be a gift, when I consider that I may be spending the rest of my life with whomever I "select."

But I've never even met someone as selective as I am. Even people who have never dated have a steady string of rejections to show for it. Meanwhile I pine for the one guy I wanted to date, while rejecting my other friends. I don't know. Tell me, am I crazy?

That depends on what you're being so selective about.

If you overlook most men because their hair isn't quite the correct shade of brown, or because your ideal date must be exactly 6' 3" etc. then yes, you're crazy.

However, if you're selective in terms of finding a man you genuinely 'click' with, share similar values with etc. then no, you're not crazy.

 

[Bunnymedic]

I don't see anything wrong with falling in love and settling down with the only person you have ever dated...if that is what God is leading you to do.I think age is irrelevant in most cases.I think it's better to have at least finished college and found a good job though.You can't live on love alone!
But,seriously,the guy you are after broke up with you...this means he doesn't want to date you.If I was you I would move on...what are you waiting for?Him to realize you are the one and change his mind?You may be waiting a very long time...like forever.It would be good for you,now that you are in college and able to meet lots of guys, to go on some dates and open up to other possibilities.Find someone who wants to be with you...even if he is in college

 

[Echoespeak006]

From my perspective, whether or not I have feelings for him is really not as significant as whether or not I allow myself to think about the future. I don't want to gut a wonderful friendship to quash some feelings of infatuation. But I am definitely not respecting the friendship if I am focused on dating him later.

In other words, I need to take things day by day. I try to leave it in the Lord's hands.

I think taking a stroll into the future is what gets alot of us in trouble. Since he has explicitly stated he does not want a relationship in the present, then that has to be respected. Now, if there are continous quasi-moments of more than relationship vibes floating around, then perhaps, ya'll should spend less time together. At least until you guys get passed all of this, or there's an explicit conversation on a potential relationship.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

move on, you dont wanna be slopyy seconds

 

[Alenci]

In the vein of my last post, it seems that, at the moment, while I am not looking for anyone else, he is simply not looking. My mother and many of you counsel me to remain open to dating others. Yet he doesn't want to date anyone. And I'll be honest... it would take a heck of a guy to draw my attention away, because I'm willing to settle for nothing less in a husband than what I've already found, and men like that are few and far between. So I'm as good as not looking for anyone else, by virtue of my selectivity. I've just got to stop looking for him- be content with how things are now and will be for as long as I care to think about. I'm single now and for years to come, so I may as well enjoy freedom from romantic involvement with the opposite sex. It's like a breath of fresh air on the days when I can wholly devote myself to pursuing the One who first loved me and clear my mind of distracting thoughts.