too nice to date..

[HolyOne87]

each time I ever liked someone they always seem to say the same things..
"you are too nice to date"
"I dont want to screw up the friendship"
and all other things along those lines. I always get the same rejection lines...over and over again. I fear later (when i want a relationship again..which wont be for a while), i will get the same problem.

Should i stop being so nice? I know thats a silly question...but wanted to ask it anyway.

 

[Sketcher]

I don't know you, so I can't really give an answer. Whatever you do, don't turn yourself into some . . . shrew. If you're really honest, genuine, and pleasant then hang onto that.

 

[LookingTotheFuture]

I certainly don't think your niceness is the problem. I think people are having troubles seeing the full range of who you are and your personality. Venture out a little from the ordinary and find new ways to express yourself, being true to yourself and never compromising your beliefs. I have faith that things will get better for you with time.

 

[Someguyouknow]

Do you. Don't change for the world because it will never be satisfied. If you are an extremely nice person, i would stick with it... if thats who you are.

Well... thats my opinion...

 

[LookingTotheFuture]

Someguyyouknow I agree with what you're saying. It's impossible to be all things to everybody.

I based my last post on comments I have heard others make in the past, that they see people who are very warm and nice as being one-dimensional and uninteresting. I say it is their own loss for not looking deeper and seeing the wonderful person before them.

I believe the OP shouldn't have to change for just them, but that she may be able to influence the situation if it matters that much to her.

 

[Isabella84]

each time I ever liked someone they always seem to say the same things..
"you are too nice to date"
"I dont want to screw up the friendship"
and all other things along those lines. I always get the same rejection lines...over and over again. I fear later (when i want a relationship again..which wont be for a while), i will get the same problem.

Should i stop being so nice? I know thats a silly question...but wanted to ask it anyway.

Too nice to date?Don't want to screw up the relationship??
Hello!
Translation:I don't want to date you
Don't worry about it.If you are really that nice,someone will come along who does want to be more than friends

 

[simmeringabsolute]

each time I ever liked someone they always seem to say the same things..
"you are too nice to date"
"I dont want to screw up the friendship"
and all other things along those lines. I always get the same rejection lines...over and over again. I fear later (when i want a relationship again..which wont be for a while), i will get the same problem.

Should i stop being so nice? I know thats a silly question...but wanted to ask it anyway.

It means that they want to remain only friends. Do not be discouraged, there are plenty of humans on this earth.

It is a somewhat silly question to ask though. Do you think you are too nice? Do you think there are situations that you should handle differently?

 

[GoodNewsJim]

Last time I checked, there's no way someone can be too nice.

And I had the,"Dating will ruin the friendship" comment. What she really meant was there was someone else she was interested in.

 

[Someguyouknow]

Someguyyouknow I agree with what you're saying. It's impossible to be all things to everybody.

I based my last post on comments I have heard others make in the past, that they see people who are very warm and nice as being one-dimensional and uninteresting. I say it is their own loss for not looking deeper and seeing the wonderful person before them.

I believe the OP shouldn't have to change for just them, but that she may be able to influence the situation if it matters that much to her.

haha i wasnt aiming my comment at you... i hadnt read any of the other responses. That said, i agree with you. I am often seen as uninteresting... and its true, I am. The world likes the "bad girls/boys". I say meh to the world... meh i say...

 

[LookingTotheFuture]

Don't worry I didn't think you were raising the comment at me. I thought you made a good point and that I should expand around my first answer to reflect on what you said. And I'm glad I did, what I wrote reads a lot better now.

 

[Ceridwen]

You just have to be yourself. They say "you're too nice" because thery are not interested. If they were interested you would not be "too nice." Instead, you would be "just right." Whether they are attracted to you is nothing you can control. Just be yourself.

 

[okiemommy26]

Just be yourself. Those guys saying that do not know what they are missing. Don't worry some guy will come along and know and love what you are.

 

[JPPT1974]

1. Just be yourself
2. Don't try to act like someone other than yourself
3. Be friends with that person
4. Most of all, key is, have a great time!

 

[HolyOne87]

thank you for all your comments and opinions. I really appreciate them all!
Yeah, im not going to change myself for others. I am happy with myself...sooner or later someone will realize that im a great person..it will just take time.

thank you all again