too much time with parent?

[godshines]

post has been closed

 

[MyEverything]

I don't think you're being selfish. It seems like a legitimate concern to me. Have you tried discussing these things with your boyfriend? Maybe all three of you could discuss it together and try to find some common ground.

 

[Windmill]

Hi All,
I am hoping you can shed some light as outsiders on a situation with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend's father calls him more than once a week. I must start off by saying that my boyfriend's father is divorced, and treats my boyfriend as his close friend, venting and telling him all of life's details. My bf's father also has an illness which originally he thought would carry out for 20 years (but now he is hinting that it might be a year, liver disease). The doctors are giving him 20 years, but he is saying a year I feel to make my bf feel bad and as though he has to befriend him.

I am a little annoyed that my bf won't just contact his father once a week by phone or even every two weeks, but that he feels he has to stay overnight with his dad.
MY bf is currently off work for a few weeks, and has no cable, and gets bored and visits his dad who I feel constantly manipulates my bf into feeling bad for him (because he is single, and living alone, and had to raise him alone yadda yadda yadda).

Anywho, I am beginning to think that this is something that would carry over into our marriage if we get married (which we have discussed a possibility of)

Is it wrong to ask him not to visit his dad so much? He also calls his dad a few times a week for counsel and advice, and half of the time he only tells his dad what's happening in his life, but not me.

Please let me know what you think. Maybe I am just being selfish, but I don't think my bf knows how to live indepently of his dad, and I know his dad has not let him go. My bf's brother pretty much cut contact with their father because the dad was too needy.

Unless your bf doesn't like it, what is the problem.

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

I think you're being incredibly selfish. All too often, people come here talking about how they have a bad relationship with their parents, and here is someone with a very good one and you're jealous? The guy even has a disease that they have put a time line on his life and even hinted that time might be as small as a year and you're mad that he wants to spend time with his son? You should be happy he has such a good relationship with his father and encourage him in it instead of being so negative about it. He could have worse friends... a lot worse.

I swear, each time I come on this forum I read something that makes me lose more hope in humanity.

 

[godshines]

true... thanks all for the advice.