Toddlerwise??

[Leanna]

So I am reading this book, Toddlerwise, and I think it has some good ideas, but I have to wonder if they are not just crazy too sometimes. Has anyone else read this book and has any opinions? Maybe I am the only one... I read a lot.

While I am asking about books, has anyone read Beyond One?? The lady has two kids and scared the crud out of me with a lot of her essays. I did like her essay on the family dinner, which goes against the classic model. We do it that way too. I feed David before my husband gets home, then him and I eat. For several reason...

But before I get into all that, I was wondering if anyone else reads parenting books? (I read parenting, literature, novels, etc...)

 

[Linnis]

When I was 17, I watched a 1.5 year old and a 3 year old. I got to that house to find stuff everywhere and the mother warned me to watch them, so they don't put things in their mouths. So they went in the play pen and I picked everything up, vacummed than went over the whole living room(it has gates) on my hands and knees to see it from their level and was surprised on how much I missed!

I learned that at the Canadian Red Cross babysitting course. They had this little booklet, of about 80 pages on safety, what to do for choking restricted airway, CPR on babies under 3...it was the best $25 I ever spent.

Now that I'm hoping to become a mother I'm reading more, but it's along the lines of what to do and eat while I'm pregnant. Also I'm reading about fun things to do with my nephew, we like doing crafts and science Projects.

 

[katelyn]

I read part of Babywise. A lot of the stuff I read seemed like common sense, but I didn't necessarily like their implementation. I don't know if Toddlerwise is like this, but they had these little (made up) stories about how one baby was raised using their principles and another was raised using "other" methods (implied to be attachment parenting, but not really). Of course their fictional stories are going to show the one following their rules as great kids and the "others" as little monsters. I found those stories irritating and distracting from the actual content of the book.

Personally I am a fan of Dr. Sears. I read the Attachment Parenting Book and although I don't use every suggestion they offer (which is one thing I like about them, they openly say that you don't have to follow their ideas to the letter), I like the basic ideas they present. I'm currently reading the Family Nutrition Book. I'm also reading First-Time Mom by Dr. Kevin Leman.

 

[lucypevensie]

I've read Toddlerwise. It's been a long time since I've read it though so I can't really remember a lot of specifics. It seemed like common sense to me so I don't recall really being "enlightened" by lots of new ideas. Was it in Toddlerwise that I read a good suggestion for dealing with children interrupting? I liked that. I just know that when I read any books on parenting I have to ignore some stuff and hang on to what I agree with and makes sense.

 

[Leanna]

It seems like they are too strict in Toddlerwise. I definitely think we can guide our kids, but I was wondering if anyone else who read it really had it work that way. Especially the scheduling, does anyone have a really well scheduled day? Is there really a difference between "structured playtime" and "free playtime." ?? I mean, really, I can't just tell him "okay now you are going to play with THIS toy...." and this book is written for walkers to 24 months. It just seemed unrealistic but I was wondering if anyone who actually HAD a toddler thought it wasn't. I am looking for a little more structure in our day to keep us busy, but it seems over done. I've never read Dr. Sears. I am not much on attachment parenting, isn't that where you carry your baby around a lot? I couldn't carry him around a lot he would hurt my back. He's heavy already, and is taller than most babies I've seen 6 months older than him.

 

[katelyn]

I am not much on attachment parenting, isn't that where you carry your baby around a lot?

Baby wearing/carrying your baby is one of the tools of attachment parenting. But attachment parenting is all about bonding with your baby and building a close, trusting relationship. There are a lot of recommended tools such as breastfeeding and bed sharing, but you don't necessarily have to use all the tools to be an attachment parent. One thing that Dr. Sears says that I really like is, "If you resent it, change it." Baby wearing and etc. are just tools to help you bond with your baby...any tools that you don't feel comfortable with and/or don't work for your baby...just don't use! Because chances are, if you don't really want to do it, it's actually going to hurt rather than help your bond with your baby.

 

[Leanna]

I'm all about bonding, but breastfeeding didn't work out, I don't wear my baby, and I don't want to co sleep for a number of reasons. So I guess I'm not into attachment parenting. But I love him lots!!! I notice your character is a lot like mine...... that may explain why I like your posts a lot, maybe we are similar, lol.

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

never read the book, i dont have a toddler yet...lol

 

[andiesmama]

scheduling?? for a toddler?? excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor after lauging so hard I fell down!!

I mean, I've got one day during the week when I go to storytime at the library, and another day that's pretty much a standing play date, but other than that everything's pretty much "flying by the seat of my pants"! lol

 

[Leanna]

Yes, that's how its been for us too(fly by seat of pants), but then when we are home we both get really bored!!! And he has began to whine about being bored, but I can't think of much to do. So I have been trying to find a way to beat this. Don't laugh at me. The other thing is, with the gas prices having gone up, it costs 7-8 dollars per trip to a "real town." and so we will need to stay home more. So I am trying to figure out how to break up the day so it doesn't seem like one long boring never changing day.

 

[andiesmama]

Yes, that's how its been for us too(fly by seat of pants), but then when we are home we both get really bored!!! And he has began to whine about being bored, but I can't think of much to do. So I have been trying to find a way to beat this. Don't laugh at me. The other thing is, with the gas prices having gone up, it costs 7-8 dollars per trip to a "real town." and so we will need to stay home more. So I am trying to figure out how to break up the day so it doesn't seem like one long boring never changing day.

Oh, I hear you! We usually are gone only 2 days out of the week, sometimes 3, but even then it's only in the mornings, usually home for lunch & ALWAYS for naptime!

How old is your son? Washable fingerpaints are fun, get a big piece of paper & just let him go to town! Chalk, he can color outside on the driveway or sidewalk. Get a big bucket or tub & fill with water, give him little cups & stuff to play with. I started doing like a letter a week with Andie, but not making a big deal of it, just giving her stuff to color that starts with that letter, using her magnadoodle to write the letter, that kind of stuff. You could even do that with colors...have a "yellow" day, dress him in yellow, color yellow stuff, eat all yellow stuff for lunch, that kind of thing. You could break the day up into like an "art" phase and a "learning" phase...but at these early ages, everything our kids do is learning! lol

 

[herev]

we've read and used both babywise and toddlerwise...we use it for instruction and we get a lot from them, but we aren't slaves to either book (we have a toddler and an infant)

 

[demagogue]

Beat the little *******. That will teach him the necessities of life.

 

[Leanna]

I love those ideas!!!! I can't wait to do them. Unfortunately, my son is only 10 1/2 months. He is almost a toddler, and so I was reading ahead. Hehe. I did buy fat crayons the other day and we tried to draw, I taped a piece of paper to a cookie sheet with edges. He DID make marks on the paper(I had a crayon and he mimicked me) and I was impressed. Then he started trying to chew on the crayon and coloring time was over. We are a little way from chalk and fingerpaint. I have to admit, those sorts of projects are one of the things I have always looked forward to with kids. Kids art projects. I can't wait! But, I must....

 

[Joykins]

I find my children are happier when they have a structured day and activities planned. When they get bored, they act up (I have a 19 month old and a 4 year old).

I don't read parenting books much beyond what to do for a fever and baby should be meeting Milestone X by now. Most "parenting" books seem to have an agenda that doesn't fit--Sears's philosophy is too clingy for me while Ezzo is too rigid--and when I take what seems good from the book I am back to whatever resonates to my own common sense.

Joy

 

[andiesmama]

Leanna -- you could still do the water thing, although he'd probably try drinking it more than playing in it! lol At almost 11 months, I'd probably pull out the blocks, stacking rings, stuff like that...

PS...did you keep the paper he scribbled on? I know I kept Andie's first piece of artwork, proudly hung it on the refrigerator for MONTHS!! lol

 

[katelyn]

I'm looking forward to activities like that also, and Natalie is only 4 months old! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy her at this stage, and many days it seems like she's growing too fast. But I'm also looking forward to when she can communicate and interact more.

 

[Neenie1]

I've never read toddler wise or baby wise.

I do read parenting books and magazines though.

As far as keeping my son amused, we go to playgroup once a week, and also story times at the library.

Also walks to the park and things like that. I try to have one day a week, where we sit down and do a "lesson" type thing where we might do a craft, or I will actively try to teach him something (at the moment it is his full name, address and phone number in case we are out somewhere and he gets lost)

 

[Princessperky]

I can't comment on the book, but I do have a schedule, it isn't like a exact science no complaints of 'you made lunch run over by 5 minutes end of the world' but more a series of natural progressions.

For example, Clean up (am) is followed by art, I don't like to do art with a messy living room (to likely that paint will get on way to many things!) then we have lunch cause they are generally hungry at that time. (why is art scheduled daily? cause I would forget!)

I have found that the most consistant part of my routine is the easiest. but at all times there is plenty of room for flexibility, for example, clean up at 3pm. It is just a nice convenient time to remind me that we should be thinking about cleaning up and getting 'homework' done and getting dinner on, so what if it is 3:07, or 2:56, the point is my kids do know what to expect and generally comply with little or no complaint.

Anyway, routine is nice, children who know what to expect take transition rather well, but if the routine is the end goal, then it is wasted effort. Flexibility is key.

I do think having some times during the day where mommy picks what is going to happen is helpful, cause honestly the world wont revolve around them long! But it will happen sooner or later, so no big if you skip it at 1 or something.

 

[Leanna]

I did save the piece of paper! But it also has marks I made unfortunately. We shared a piece. The water thing, he's a pretty wild little boy and I can hardly keep him from taking his little bucket in the tub and pouring it onto the bathroom floor. The only thing that works is as soon as he stands in the tub or throws anything overboard bathtime is over. He loves bathtime so its effective. So unless we did it on the backporch I don't dare give him water!

We started a new "schedule" or as PP said, series of natural progressions. I hope it helps break up the day more. I like it so far, now its naptime. I also have been wanting to go on a daily walk for a long time but I let hot weather make me wuss out. We went this morning and the humidity was like 98%! Its pretty miserable but David LOVES walks no matter the temp right now. When it was over, he kicked and fussed. So I am going to start trying to keep up the daily walk and later maybe I will consider turning it into a daily jog. For health.