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fluffy_rainbow

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Hello everyone. It's very rare that I ever open up about really super personal things online, but today I'm feeling so broken and torn I don't know what to do.

My life has been a series of disappointment, heartache, and trouble. I have attempted suicide twice and self-mutilated from the time I was 14 up until a little over a month ago. For awhile I flaunted my sexuality. I would go to bed with any man who took me out for drinks and called me beautiful. I converted to Neo-Paganism when I was 22 after I had been raped, divorced from my one "true love", and molested in the church. I prayed so many nights for God to help ease the pain, to help make it all go away, get better. It never happened and that's when I lost my faith. I felt I was praying to my ceiling.

Last winter I did clean up my act and lived the straight and narrow. I met a very nice Christian man who shamelessly broke my heart. I decided right then and there that if Christian men were no better than non-christian men then why bother? I went back to living a faithless life and allowed a guy to move in with me. We partied in excess and I found myself slowly slipping away. After he and I split up, someone very special to me walked back into my life. A guy I had grown up with in the same neighborhood. We "dated" in junior high. He had been in the NAVY and we hadn't seen much of one another. He came back into my life and told me how the only thought that gave him hope and comfort while in the NAVY was the thought of me. He told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I believed him. A month into it he ditched me, citing his own personal problems as if he were trying to protect me from it all. That week I self-inflicted second degree burns to my entire left forearm. It took weeks to heal and I now have an enormous scar. A permanent reminder of the pain I allowed him to cause me. My love for him consumed me and when he left I was devestated.

Then I met someone else and he and I dated for the last few weeks. Last night I receive an offline PM from him saying we needed to talk about "us". I thought we were going to meet in person, but instead he gets online later and says "I can't be with you" and proceeds to tell me that I'm ugly, superficial, a b**ch, materialistic, heartless, and selfish. He tells me he doesn't even want to be friends with me because he doesn't associate with people like me. He also informed me that he made a mistake breaking up with his last girlfriend and they were getting back together because I am nothing compared to her. At least she has the ability to love and car about a man. He said I will die lonely because I don't know how to love. I was hurt and shocked by all of this. I thought we were having a wonderful time together. I asked him what prompted this and he said it was because Saturday morning around 6am he was hungover and throwing up in my bathroom and I didn't care. I'm thinking, "you're kidding me....right?". Really I think that's an excuse. The ex came back into the picture and he didn't have the guts to tell me to my face and then he had to make sure he made me so angry I would want nothing to do with him because the girlfriend sure as heck wouldn't allow him to be friends with me. This always happens to me. I really don't think I'm a bad person.

But I am a very sad person. I pretend like everything is alright when really I'm dying inside. I act like I have no desire to pick up that razor blade and cut my arms all up because I'm afraid of hurting and disappointing those who love me and are so happy I've stopped self-harming. I have somewhat liberal viewpoints and some Christians have told me unless I change them I will never experience true salvation. Honestly, that is why I fear Christianity. I am terrified of becoming like some of the Christians I've known. The uptight, self-righteous ones who have more skeletons in their closet than anyone I've ever known. I don't want to become a "fundie" (please don't be offended, I'm using the term to identify the hard-core conservatives). I still want to be fun and open-minded. Not critical and stuffy.

Sorry folks. I'm just ranting. I feel so lost.
 

Sketcher

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I'm sorry all that happened to you. I've known someone else with a pain-filled life like that .

I'll pray for you as there isn't much else I can do. You've had bad luck with men in the church and out of it, so may I suggest give up on dating altogether? Meet with some women in the church who will help you and understand you.
 
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Bevlina

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Yes, you are lost, lonely, afraid, bewildered and in shock fluffy. And, you are not alone. There are too many in the world with the same story as you.
Too many hurting, too many turning aside from Christianity because of being hurt by Christians.
But, Darling, always remember GOD is Faithful. And the words He told us in the Bible always come to my mind during times like this "Be Still and know, that I AM God"

You see, there are many ways Satan uses people who profess christianity to hurt other Children of God. And one of them is to turn them from him. You can see my age, I am 59, and I have watched this happen over, and over, and over again to young people who are trusting, sweet and kind.

The Joy of the Spirit can sometimes be quenched by Satan.

Always remember that you are who God made you. Who God is moulding you to be.
He wipes away the tears if you ask Him. He lifts you up. Yes, we are there to help Him on earth. But HE is the one who watches over His children.

You are special to God. I can tell you that now. That is why you are facing such a trial. There is always a little war going on to claim the special ones away from God.

Never give up. Don't turn your back on Him and give Satan the satisfaction. Turn TO HIM and tell Him everything. You are truly, truly special.
 
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Paladin Dave

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I am really sorry, for every awful thing that has happened to you. I want you to know that the "fundies," as you say, are one of the bad examples of christianity. Christianity is about spreading love, and anyone who has done these things to you was not acting the part when they did it. There are cruel and heartless people out there who think themselves to be christians, but you see, their idea of being a christian is going to church every week and being good on the weekends. I assure you, we are not all like that. And not all men are like the scum you have encountered. You just have to find the right one, perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places. I don't know what the right ones are, you may have to find that out for yourself. Just make sure you don't put too much trust into someone. The more faith you put in a man, the farther you have to fall. Liberal viewpoints are perfectly alright in christianity, and a lot of people around here have them. The idea behind being a christian is CHOOSING God, which requires you to think for yourself and understand your choice. We can't guarantee that becoming a christian will make your life bette,r nobody can. Sometimes life just sucks, but see, God's promise is a better life after this one. I can't remember the name of the verse, but it was something to the extent of, "The first will be last and the last will be first," so if you stick it out here on earth, and remain a good person, you will be rewarded in heaven if you accept Christ. We will all be here for you to talk to, for what its worth. PM us or post something if you need someone to talk to. We aren't all bad.
 
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ApostateAbe

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fluffy_rainbow, you are still young, you still have a long life to live, and you still have countless possibilities before you. You have had misfortune, but you must not let your misfortune decide the course of your life. You must adapt and change. That is called growing up. Whatever behaviors and types of people that bring misfortune to you, you must abandon them. Whatever religious rituals or gods that you put your trust in but only leaves you disappointed, you must abandon them also.

Treat your unfortunate experiences as something that will now enrich you, so that you can make better choices in the present. Because of your poor experiences in the past, you may, in the end, arrive at something much better than you ever expected in the future. That is wisdom.

You say that someone you dated called you "ugly, superficial, a b**ch, materialistic, heartless, and selfish." I can help you examine yourself to see which of those things you are and which of those things you not. That guy must have seen something wrong in you, or else he would have been willing to stick with you instead of his ex. A man will take the best he can get when it comes to love. Send me a forum PM, or look for me on MSN IM, search for tiananman@yahoo.com.
 
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1GODALONE

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Fluffy_rainbow let me give you one piece of advice. What happened to you disgusts me. Whoever that guy was he was a piece of trash left in the sun in a black garbage bag in the middle of summer inside his heart. People like him who say " change or i'll leave" (essentially) are poisonous snakes who lie in wait for a good person to strike out at. Don't trust them, run and never look back. Your only problem seems to be that you put way too much trust and hope in people. People, even Christians (sadly) are fallible. I'm sorry that you went through what you did, its not your fault, realize that. Peoples views of you will change on a dime depending on looks, money, power, fame, etc. They will never be you though, so how do they think that they know you so well? They want things thier way, therefore they will think bad things about anyone they want. And men are not all knowing about you, many times secular men are (ahem) very very shallow. Me, being a Christian, I put all my trust into the Bible and all it says...not what people say. I honestly can tell you all of Christs followers are not like what you ran into. Have faith, dont get caught in human lies and traps the way they want you to. I prayed during the hardest times of my life, and God always answered me. Keep seeking God and truth,read God's word,pray hard (if you still believe), and though it may take time, God will reveal his peace and show you who he already knows you are! Instead of getting caught in all these relationships, take a time out. Sit and analyze what you want in life, dredge your soul. I'm praying for you, I know my God will help you. God bless you.
 
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TheOriginalWhitehorse

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Dear friend, I'm so sorry for your pain. The churches are filled with people who profess Christ and many do not even have Christ. There are even lots of preachers who do not know God, as horrific as that sounds. So please don't give up on the Lord or deny what is true because of man. You just can't let them steal that from you.

God will heal you. But the first step is returning to Him. Look for Him in prayer, and not in man. Man will always disappoint you.

But you can be healed. The first step is facing what happened, and then recognizing the ways in which it changed your perceptions. Then, it's a matter of healing and correcting the perceptions. If you act in according to what is true, your emotions will follow.

If you need to talk, feel free to pm me.
 
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All4THALORD

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God bless you Flufy. May the Lord put his hand of protection over you and give you some of His love. Let Him touch you. And when He does, just recieve it and praise Him for His Almighty power. Thank you Lord. Lord, just let your perfect will be done in this womans life. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
Through Christ's love
All4thalord
 
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kiwichristian

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The wonderful thing is, is that you can place all of these feelings in the hands of God. He understands completely what you are going through.
I am so sorry for what has happened to you. You dont deserve to be treated like that, no one does. I can honestly say, that if you put your trust in the Lord, and ask Him into your life, He will walk with you through these trials so that you will not go through them alone. Christ came to earth to do just that: He bore our sins and all of our pain on the cross, and He can sympathize with what you are going through, because He Himself has been through the most suffering that anyone can go through. He loves you, and that in Jesus Christ alone, you will find meaning, purpose and a joy that surpasses all understanding. All these things are not found in the world, but in God Himself.
 
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fluffy_rainbow

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You guys are wonderful. I truly appreciate everyone's kind words. I made the decision this morning to re-dedicate my life to Christ. I may still be open-minded, but I'm so tired of knowing the Truth in my heart but allowing my head to reject it. I'm tired of wandering aimlessly and filling my life with empty friends and empty activities that don't glorify God, or myself. I'm sick and tired of engaging in self-destructive acts that hurt my body, mind, and soul. No more. I want to be made new, become a changed individual. Anyway, thank you all so much for your help and prayers.
 
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TheOriginalWhitehorse

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Wonderful! Welcome home. I know I'm not alone in being here to support you in your faith and healing if you feel that would be of benefit to you.
 
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Bevlina

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Praise God!! Fluffy! Believe me, it's wonderful meeting people like you on the Forum! You make life so worthwhile and happy for us all! This is so inspirational to read!!!

Go forward little one and love your life! It is God given!!
 
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1GODALONE

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I cannot tell you how happy I'am for you! I pray that God would reveal his love and healing in your life. You will always be in my prayers. Remember what I said about always trusting the Bible and not the words of men. This is truly wonderful news! Hallelujah! Seek true Christians, dont be fooled by anyone that seems plastic. If i can help you in any way in your walk with Christ dont hesitate to ask! Dont loose faith, I know its hard in this world, but God never runs from you. He sits and waits patiently with open arms for you. God bless you, and your life. Always.
 
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Bain_Adaneth

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Fluffy_rainbow,

Stop it, that's stereotyping! Not all Christians are what you think. For example I devote my life life to God, but the truth is that I enjoy it. My husband feels sorry for me, and that's one thing that is keeping him from being a Christian. But he really doesn't understand. I seriously feel sorry for him. The Lord's will is my purpose, I do things for His will, and It brings so much joy to my life. I don't know how to explain it to people who think that the Christian life is so boring. So you know, you might enjoy some stuff in the future too, that you don't really enjoy today. But I'm telling you that I've never before experienced so much joy in life, until I started to walk with God.
I tell my sisters this all the time, "do not think that just because a guy is a Christian, that he will treat you right." You know, Christians sin too! It's not news....everyone has sinned in their life. But being a Christian, you have a responsibility there because you know that God doesn't like sin. Even I sin....and sometimes I hurt people I love, but it's human to make mistakes...that's why you should always forgive and ask for forgiveness, and mean it. You know, that just because you had a bad relationship with Christians, that it is no excuse for you. It's not an excuse for me either, nor for anyone else. That's because being a Christian is when you have a relationship with God, and believe and accept Jesus Christ as your savior. Seeing Christians who fall in their sin, doesn't make me think less about being a Christian. It lets me learn from other's mistakes, and I will help to pull them up, not fall with them....so keep your focus on Jesus, and pull others up in their walk with Christ. God is able, but are you willing to help yourself? I used to ask God for a lot things, and I noticed that sometimes I have to put effort in it too. God is not a wishing machine that we can go to, to ask for things and recieve them. He is your Father, and He knows your heart. Ask Him to guide you. Ask Him to help take away urges to sin, drink, and do bad things to your body. God created you, and He loves you, why do you not love yourself? Things that are impossible for us, is possible for God. Pray to Him for guidance, and mean it. Remember that a prayer is from your heart to God. It is not something that we repeat, memorize or just say it because we had to. Tell Him what and why. Ask to do His will, not yours. I know that this is hard, because I've been there, and there were times where I thought I wasn't gonna make it. But with the Lord, everything is possible. When you have the urge to sin, you can pray something like this, " Oh God, I'm have this uncontrollable urge to go to that wild party to drink, please help me to overcome this temptation Lord, give me the strength, and your word Lord, I pray that you will cancel the party Lord, or do something so that I won't get to go, take away this urge Lord, I don't want to have it anymore, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen." And it's hard to pray a prayer like this when you do really want to go and have "fun" and drink. But it will help you to overcome it. Fluffy_rainbow, thank you for posting your question. I trust that you are seeking to help yourself. And you've already passed the first barrier, because you are seeking. Sweetheart, there are so many things that we don't understand about life. Even I have questions that I have for God. Changing is hard, but you can do it. I did it, and so has many others. It's doable with God. Seek to do good. Pray for yourself and ask others to pray for you... you can always write a private message to me by clicking on my name....thankyou, I hope to hear more from you....always here to serve others.......
 
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