To spank or not to spank please vote

[Robinsegg]

Another issue is that spanking is a knee-jerk reaction to a behavior that does absolutely nothing to get at the root cause of the behavior. Sometimes causes are complex.

I respect this position. That's why I talk to my children before and after the spanking. There may be something of which I was unaware that would cause me to set the punishment aside. I always allow for that, and apologize to the child if I was too harsh or quick in my descision.

Also, I spank only for direct defiance, and give the child a chance to back off from his/her position before choosing to spank. If he/she stops the defiant behavior after a warning, no punishment is given. Only when the child has had the chance to think about it, knowing the consequences, and continues do I spank.

You see, there are people who are really very careful about it. It's not always a knee-jerk reaction, but can be a well-thought-out response to a specific behavior. Knee-jerk reaction brings forth images of reacting without thought and reacting with emotion. I do neither.

Rachel

 

[Futuwwa]

A question to all of you who are universally opposed to spanking kids.

You keep saying that spanking teaches kids that might makes right. However, by the same reasoning, doesn't other forms of discipline do the same? It's "Do as I say or I'll punish you!" is essentially the bottom line, the form of punishment is just different.

Doesn't just trying to talk with the kids about things rather than also punish them in any way teach them that they can de facto do whatever they want without punishment?

 

[Robinsegg]

Here are two sites I found. The first http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp suggests against spanking, but also gives tips for those who choose to spank so that it's effective and non-harmful.
The second http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/256 gives pros and cons to spanking, as well as some links.

Spanking, in and of itself isn't necessarily evil. It can become evil and abusive (but that's not applicable to spanking only).

Rachel

 

[DivineRAiN]

Charlie: It's unfortunate for our children that so many people so stubbornly defend corporal punishment, considering the harm it does our children.

What harm?

 

[DivineRAiN]

Charlie: And I never thought to myself, "Gee, I wish I had a tool for my toolbelt."

LoL
what do you use for discipline?

 

[ebia]

A question to all of you who are universally opposed to spanking kids.

You keep saying that spanking teaches kids that might makes right. However, by the same reasoning, doesn't other forms of discipline do the same? It's "Do as I say or I'll punish you!" is essentially the bottom line, the form of punishment is just different.

To an extent, yes, all punishment is flawed.

Doesn't just trying to talk with the kids about things rather than also punish them in any way teach them that they can de facto do whatever they want without punishment?

Without punishment, but not without consequence.

 

[Futuwwa]

Uh, what's the difference between punishment and consequence? Isn't bad consequence a form of punishment in itself?

Doesn't your doctrine teach the kids that they won't be punished for bad things, and can do them as long as they can avoid consequence in some way?

A child knowing right from wrong is certainly best. However, I would rather have a child get right and wrong drummed into him by rods and axes than let him grow up to be a spoiled, hedonistic brat.

 

[quatona]

Uh, what's the difference between punishment and consequence? Isn't bad consequence a form of punishment in itself?

Yes, the "in itself" part makes the difference: punishment is willfully inflicted.

Doesn't your doctrine teach the kids that they won't be punished for bad things, and can do them as long as they can avoid consequence in some way?

No, not any more than your "doctrine" would teach the kids that they can do bad things as long as these things go unnoticed, as long as they can find loopholes, and as long as they can avoid punishment.

A child knowing right from wrong is certainly best. However, I would rather have a child get right and wrong drummed into him by rods and axes than let him grow up to be a spoiled, hedonistic brat.

False dichotomy, in various respects.