To spank or not to spank please vote

[ccgr]

Can you cast your vote on whether or not to spank a child is okay?
http://www.notmrmom.com/forums/nfphpbb/viewtopic.php?t=6

 

[Adriac]

Obviously I can't speak as a parent, but my own parents never, and I do mean never, physically disciplined myself or either of my two brothers, and we each turned out to be more or less the nicest behaved kids around. Yeah, we don't always do what we're told.

If you want my unsubstantiated opinion? Spanking is the "easy out". It kind of disgusts me that people put that little love into teaching their children, but as long as makin' babies requires nothing more than a set of interlocking genitals, I guess it's gonna happen.

 

[Rae]

No one should ever intentionally hit a child, whether they call it spanking or beating or "discipline."

 

[crumbs2000]

I believe there is nothing wrong with a smack if the child is being naughty. I'm not talking going overboard. I talking a light smack, and probably not on the legs or using any instruments(wooden spoon, belt). More communication between child and parent wouldn't hurt and education/support for parents should be provided.
Children should be treated with respect, but I do feel that some are getting away with so to speak and disrespecting their parents in the mean-time. Due to laws protecting children from abuse, some kids use this against their parents and saying "if you touch me I will sue you". Therefore these children take advantage and lose control anyway.

 

[PETE_]

Spanking is basically for youger children. Any form of discipline should break a child's will, but never their spirit. The young child yeild to pain fairly easily, but do not reason well. With improved reasoning as they get older, spanking is no longer needed or effective. They would rather have the spanking and get it over with. So, we easily find other things to use that are more intrusive to their will. Grounding, taking privileges, extra chores, etc.

 

[DouglasBrown]

I'm with the "violence begets violence" thing here. My parents never physically disiplined me. I am against hitting children, reguardless of age. It seems like it would create a barrier between the parent and child, more so than if the parent took away privilages for a period of time.

 

[JustJack!]

Ya'll ever watch Supernanny, or Nanny 911 or any number of those stupid nanny shows that come in and work miracles on the little brats? Well, 90% of those kids wouldn't have ever gotten to that point if their parents weren't afraid to set them in line.

I know about "physical dicipline", and I know about little brats too, I was one.

 

[ebia]

Ya'll ever watch Supernanny, or Nanny 911 or any number of those stupid nanny shows that come in and work miracles on the little brats? Well, 90% of those kids wouldn't have ever gotten to that point if their parents weren't afraid to set them in line.

You know that how?

Most of the worst behaved kids I know have parents who use violence (aka "physical discipline")

 

[seebs]

Any form of discipline should break a child's will, but never their spirit.

Physical injury intended to break the will is called "torture".

 

[Pogue]

I'm opposed to smacking children. It is perfectly possible to have well-behaved children without hurting them. To hurt a child to get your own way shows them that they should do the same. I was smacked as a child, and I think it did me more harm than good. Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone, but I have no doubt that there are better ways of getting your child to behave.

 

[Moros]

Nope. 'tis far more effective to correct the mistake by making your child rationalize it's actions through discourse.

One my parents used on me - "i'm not angry, just disappointed." Always guilted me into never doing it again.

 

[gwenmead]

I remember being spanked when I was a very young child - before the age of four. All I remember is that it made me terrified of my parents, and terrified of screwing up.

If terrorizing small children was/is the goal, then spanking was certainly effective on me.

 

[Lilly of the Valley]

Used wisely and not as the sole form of discipline, spanking is perfectly appropriate.

 

[PETE_]

Proverbs 13:24 (NIV)

24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.​

Proverbs 22:15 (NIV)

15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.​

Proverbs 23:13-14 (NIV)

13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod
and save his soul from death​

Proverbs 29:15-17 (NIV)

15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom,
but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
16 When the wicked thrive, so does sin,
but the righteous will see their downfall.
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;
he will bring delight to your soul.
______________________________________​

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
​

Colossians 3:21 (NIV)

21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
​

 

[NPH]

Hrm, this is not an easy one. While I constantly look for alternative ways to teach my kids (and the one Lvythyn mentioned is starting to work well, the "i'm disappointed" bit) I have to admit to occasionally find it necessary to use a bit of spanking.

I don't particularly like it though and am trying to avoid it as much as possible. I do have one particular rule for myself though whenever I do decide it is necessary. That is, that I have to ensure that I am calm and not angry, and speak to them (not yell) and hope to teach them why what they were doing is not acceptable. Basically, I try to make the 'spanking' the consequence of their behavior and not a result of my anger.

But even then, I still look for better options whenever possible. I'd prefer to leave the spanking behind completely but it's a hard thing to break even yourself of when it's what you grew up with.

 

[DivineRAiN]

Kids with the worse behavior that I've seen weren't spanked and some of them turned around n put their hands on their Mother. (all of them don't share the same Mother tho.. different families)
And kids who don't get spanked, they know how to put their hands on other kids, biting, smacking kids over the heads with toys, pulling hair, pushing kids down, digging their nails into a kid's arm.
Kids don't learn this stuff from being spanked.
The family down the street lost control of their kids.. starting with the oldest (who's an adult now). She had called 911 on her Dad n had him arrested for child abuse.. she was mad that he grounded her to her room. It was dropped when it came out that she was lying.

 

[Kroger99]

Spank

Your children will thank you when they are older.

 

[Pogue]

Spank

Your children will thank you when they are older.

I have yet to thank my mother for hitting me.

 

[PETE_]

I have yet to thank my mother for hitting me.

There is a difference in spanking and hitting. Why would you not thank you parents for following God's Word and trying to keep you on the right path.

 

[Mayflower1]

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Not in a abusive way, but spanking for chastisment, I definitely agree with and when I get children, I will spank when necessary for them.