- Jul 31, 2024
- 1
- 0
- 53
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Divorced
I met somebody (Ken) in one date app and since the first time I knew I was not attracted to him as a man since he appeared taller in his profile and was older than in looked in his pictures, without mentioning his intense personality…
I should have listened to the red flags in both of us from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them apparently, like “I miss you” after the first time he took me to dinner.
After some weeks he invited me to a “friendly” Valentines dinner with my mother whom I take care of after her hip replacement surgery. He said he wanted to make it easier for me due to the fact that she is my priority for this time of my life and until she heals better and/or decides to go back to her country.
He felt in love with my mom and we both saw him as a generous soul that God had put in our path. That night due to his smoking I did realize but my nose started to react and I almost fainted of not being able to breath… he took us to his house being so near to that restaurant and took care of me giving me hot tea and some medication for allergies. We grew fond of his friendship inviting him over to our place for a home-made dinner on a later date. He was utterly happy, and my mom and I felt we reciprocated his attentions.
By March he invited me to dinner again and wanted to include my mom as well for me to feel more comfortable. I was already having some dates every 15 days with other people without any good results, so I took his invitations as friendship with a very sociable and nice man who several times cooked for us in his home, introducing us to his adult kids. We both are 53 y.o.
In April I lost my job and didn’t want to tell him, but my mom’s eye surgery was confirmed and I had to take her to the hospital due to the urgency of the procedure. He insisted on paying for it and I totally denied it arguing that the same hospital suggested me to request financial aid due to a hardship. I did so and I received it, but he paid for the rest without me knowing it and I was a bit mad but then had to be thankful assuring him that one way or another I would be able to pay him back whenever I recover from the financial situation.
After my mom’s recovery in a couple of weeks, she suggested inviting him again to have dinner over. There is when he asked me to explore the possibility of a relationship and I was certainly not excited since after coming back from the conference, I sort of rekindled another relationship with a out-of the country prospect, Clark. (I have to say that after losing my job I strongly considered moving back to Europe)
In June I went to Europe for work and Ken insisted on visiting the place and events I went, and I denied it since there was a strong possibility to finally meet Clark to consider our future possibilities. Before leaving Ken asked me if I was ready for an exclusive relationship with someone and I told him no, but I made the mistake of continuing in touch with him just to not make him feel used and left or discarded. I propose him to give us a break until my come back and he refused. I went to Europe met Clark for a brief lunch at near the train station on his was back home from some business meeting a near city and I felt I would love to explore a life with him but had to wait until the end of September to see him again in my country of residence but he started being too distant and almost stop conversations, video calls, etc. in spite of giving me an exact date of arrival here. I texted him and he said he is dealing with too much related to his last daughter about to leave to university and that after that would announce his “girlfriend” mood with me.
In the meantime, Ken stayed in Europe attending the events and I had to eventually introduce him as potential investor/entrepreneur to some of my key contacts in order to make this easier of everyone and not have to explain too much around my people. They accepted him and even invited him to the next events, and he proposed to in fact make some investments in the company, I was speechless.
At this point, my key contact tried to convince me that I should consider giving him a chance since his behavior towards me was more than obvious showing a genuine interest and that I should stop being mean to him, which I never thought I was. I sort of accepted and stayed with him his last days visiting different venues and receptions belonging to my work field. Unfortunately, in one of them he made a jealousy scene, and we fought until his return short after. I had to stay one more week attending to some other events and conferences.
Back in the country he proposed me to have an exclusive relationship which I tried to explore, overlooking his intense character and jealous nature.
By July he proposed us to move to his enormous house so I should stop paying rent and save for a better financial situation as well as to buy my first house as a divorced single daughter to provide a better life for my mom and myself. I agreed at first thinking that we could make it work specially after the almost complete indifference of Clark, who would only text me as a reply but never as own initiative.
Few weeks ago, Ken and I spoke about my move, but I was still very doubtful. At that time to my surprise, I met Tom who I always wanted to meet by 2022 and who just popped up into my life. I didn’t want to have sex with him since I was as an “official situationship” with Ken. I was super confused but felt an incredible connection with Tom as I haven’t felt in a very long time. We texted some more times and all of the sudden a colleague invited me to a conference in another state and Ken insisted on taking me there with my mom. I didn’t want to go and even didn’t want him to join either. I have no idea why and how; he convinced me and then I accepted after he mentioning again his interest in investing on my contact, my siblings, etc. and making everybody’s life better.
I thought I should finally define this crazy situation and accepted to go with him. It was decent time always with his jealousy scenes when I bumped into several male colleagues from abroad and out of state who he considered hitting on my in a disrespectful way.
Back in town from the conference he made me a proposal to for one year cover all my debts, move into his big almost empty house, stop paying rent and focusing on my professional growth without going to work as much as I normally do for the last 20 years and just enjoying a better life until recovering, improving and helping him at home and as his current girlfriend.
I was very grateful for this offer, but I had to stress the fact that I was not romantically interested in him and if he would like to collaborate with me and key contacts in the field he was welcome but I could not promise him to grow in love with him after actually having tried for about 3 months already.
He was crushed and I felt the most evil and deceitful girl in the world. I tried to tell him that I didn’t want to feel as I am selling to someone and he said, “what is wrong with me to take over your life when you know that I love you more than my own life and would take a bullet for you?”
I was appalled and went back home crying. Next day he requested a “goodbye dinner” and for some reason after crying with my mom I ended up saying “Ok, ok we will move, since apparently it’s on me to save your face from your executives at the company, your kids, family and friends after you turning around your house to accommodate my mom and myself”
I felt super guilty and even worse when finding myself very interested in Tom with whom I had zero drama and lot of chemistry and apparently a promising relationship in the future.
I have found another job that seems promising to give me back my previous lifestyle in spite or Ken accusing me of having an employee mentality instead of an executive like him.
In conclusion:
1. I am not sure still if Tom would end up committing to a stable relationship. 2. No idea if Clark will end up coming to see me and what are his real intentions. 3. The fact that I “am playing ping pong with a high executive” as Ken told me, is killing me especially when I know this is taking a toll on his health.
I am so so confused and August is already here…
I should have listened to the red flags in both of us from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them apparently, like “I miss you” after the first time he took me to dinner.
After some weeks he invited me to a “friendly” Valentines dinner with my mother whom I take care of after her hip replacement surgery. He said he wanted to make it easier for me due to the fact that she is my priority for this time of my life and until she heals better and/or decides to go back to her country.
He felt in love with my mom and we both saw him as a generous soul that God had put in our path. That night due to his smoking I did realize but my nose started to react and I almost fainted of not being able to breath… he took us to his house being so near to that restaurant and took care of me giving me hot tea and some medication for allergies. We grew fond of his friendship inviting him over to our place for a home-made dinner on a later date. He was utterly happy, and my mom and I felt we reciprocated his attentions.
By March he invited me to dinner again and wanted to include my mom as well for me to feel more comfortable. I was already having some dates every 15 days with other people without any good results, so I took his invitations as friendship with a very sociable and nice man who several times cooked for us in his home, introducing us to his adult kids. We both are 53 y.o.
In April I lost my job and didn’t want to tell him, but my mom’s eye surgery was confirmed and I had to take her to the hospital due to the urgency of the procedure. He insisted on paying for it and I totally denied it arguing that the same hospital suggested me to request financial aid due to a hardship. I did so and I received it, but he paid for the rest without me knowing it and I was a bit mad but then had to be thankful assuring him that one way or another I would be able to pay him back whenever I recover from the financial situation.
After my mom’s recovery in a couple of weeks, she suggested inviting him again to have dinner over. There is when he asked me to explore the possibility of a relationship and I was certainly not excited since after coming back from the conference, I sort of rekindled another relationship with a out-of the country prospect, Clark. (I have to say that after losing my job I strongly considered moving back to Europe)
In June I went to Europe for work and Ken insisted on visiting the place and events I went, and I denied it since there was a strong possibility to finally meet Clark to consider our future possibilities. Before leaving Ken asked me if I was ready for an exclusive relationship with someone and I told him no, but I made the mistake of continuing in touch with him just to not make him feel used and left or discarded. I propose him to give us a break until my come back and he refused. I went to Europe met Clark for a brief lunch at near the train station on his was back home from some business meeting a near city and I felt I would love to explore a life with him but had to wait until the end of September to see him again in my country of residence but he started being too distant and almost stop conversations, video calls, etc. in spite of giving me an exact date of arrival here. I texted him and he said he is dealing with too much related to his last daughter about to leave to university and that after that would announce his “girlfriend” mood with me.
In the meantime, Ken stayed in Europe attending the events and I had to eventually introduce him as potential investor/entrepreneur to some of my key contacts in order to make this easier of everyone and not have to explain too much around my people. They accepted him and even invited him to the next events, and he proposed to in fact make some investments in the company, I was speechless.
At this point, my key contact tried to convince me that I should consider giving him a chance since his behavior towards me was more than obvious showing a genuine interest and that I should stop being mean to him, which I never thought I was. I sort of accepted and stayed with him his last days visiting different venues and receptions belonging to my work field. Unfortunately, in one of them he made a jealousy scene, and we fought until his return short after. I had to stay one more week attending to some other events and conferences.
Back in the country he proposed me to have an exclusive relationship which I tried to explore, overlooking his intense character and jealous nature.
By July he proposed us to move to his enormous house so I should stop paying rent and save for a better financial situation as well as to buy my first house as a divorced single daughter to provide a better life for my mom and myself. I agreed at first thinking that we could make it work specially after the almost complete indifference of Clark, who would only text me as a reply but never as own initiative.
Few weeks ago, Ken and I spoke about my move, but I was still very doubtful. At that time to my surprise, I met Tom who I always wanted to meet by 2022 and who just popped up into my life. I didn’t want to have sex with him since I was as an “official situationship” with Ken. I was super confused but felt an incredible connection with Tom as I haven’t felt in a very long time. We texted some more times and all of the sudden a colleague invited me to a conference in another state and Ken insisted on taking me there with my mom. I didn’t want to go and even didn’t want him to join either. I have no idea why and how; he convinced me and then I accepted after he mentioning again his interest in investing on my contact, my siblings, etc. and making everybody’s life better.
I thought I should finally define this crazy situation and accepted to go with him. It was decent time always with his jealousy scenes when I bumped into several male colleagues from abroad and out of state who he considered hitting on my in a disrespectful way.
Back in town from the conference he made me a proposal to for one year cover all my debts, move into his big almost empty house, stop paying rent and focusing on my professional growth without going to work as much as I normally do for the last 20 years and just enjoying a better life until recovering, improving and helping him at home and as his current girlfriend.
I was very grateful for this offer, but I had to stress the fact that I was not romantically interested in him and if he would like to collaborate with me and key contacts in the field he was welcome but I could not promise him to grow in love with him after actually having tried for about 3 months already.
He was crushed and I felt the most evil and deceitful girl in the world. I tried to tell him that I didn’t want to feel as I am selling to someone and he said, “what is wrong with me to take over your life when you know that I love you more than my own life and would take a bullet for you?”
I was appalled and went back home crying. Next day he requested a “goodbye dinner” and for some reason after crying with my mom I ended up saying “Ok, ok we will move, since apparently it’s on me to save your face from your executives at the company, your kids, family and friends after you turning around your house to accommodate my mom and myself”
I felt super guilty and even worse when finding myself very interested in Tom with whom I had zero drama and lot of chemistry and apparently a promising relationship in the future.
I have found another job that seems promising to give me back my previous lifestyle in spite or Ken accusing me of having an employee mentality instead of an executive like him.
In conclusion:
1. I am not sure still if Tom would end up committing to a stable relationship. 2. No idea if Clark will end up coming to see me and what are his real intentions. 3. The fact that I “am playing ping pong with a high executive” as Ken told me, is killing me especially when I know this is taking a toll on his health.
I am so so confused and August is already here…
