Through My Eyes

[Godsgirl481]

Through my eyes...

Crystal panes of pain,
my world they do distort,
and though the light of day I see,
its rays they cut too short.

See-through prision walls.
Bars of liquid gray.
Stuck...
inside this twisted cell of mine,
forever and a day.

Every gentle rose may blossom,
and golden sun may rise,
but...
their beauty shall never reach me,
through my eyes.

 

[Silver Saint]

I cannot think for the life of me why no one responded to this. I enjoyed it a lot. Good rhythm. Good flow. The places where you had the '...' and started another line made me want to pause longer than needed to keep the poem sounding fluid. I think if you kept the periods and didn't start a new line it would get the point across well enough. The last line seemed too abrupt, though. I thought you might end it, 'through my prismed eyes' but that could just be me.
Hope I didn't come across as harsh. If everyone was honest with me, it would make me a better man. I can only hope to return the favor.
Go with God.



I am aware,
Isacc

 

[Quixotic the Pedestrian]

I think your poetry is very honest.. and self revealing. I do wish that for that reason your poetry would change.... and I don't mean that as a counselor, or minister, or anything else but a fellow person struggeling through life just the same as yourself.

Life is not as hard as you make it, and your the only one that can realize that.

 

[Godsgirl481]

What I write is what goes on inside of me...I write to get all that "junk" out...I don't write to make other people happy. If the poem is sad or depressing....then that is what I am feeling. A person needs an outlet...this is mine

 

[Quixotic the Pedestrian]

I know, I'm just trying to influence you with words to be a more positve person.

 

[Godsgirl481]

I write good positive ones sometimes...I used to have one called My Everything...talking about God beinjg my everything...but it got lost in a move