Thread split from remarried section - question about marriage.

[InTheFlame]

Hi John,

There's a book I recommend to a lot of people called 'Boundaries in Dating' (or Boundaries Before Marriage, depends where you live) by Drs Cloud and Townsend. One thing I found really useful about it was the emphasis it put on BEING someone that's ready for marriage before putting too much effort into finding someone to marry. It helped me look at my life and work out which areas needed more effort.

 

[kayd1966]

John44...kept the faith...you are probably wondering why I said that...

I was 32, a virgin, believed I would marry a Christian, etc...but also didn't want to be alone and couldn't accept that maybe I just needed to live life for the Lord instead of living it like I was waiting for my husband to come along...long story made short...I got sick of waiting for God to bring this husband along. So I went out and found myself a wonderful, caring, hard-working, loving...non-christian man. We've been married now for 6 years, have a wonderful son with autism and a beautiful little daughter. They are wonderful children that I can not share Jesus with openly and who have never prayed to the Lord with their Daddy.

If I could turn back time...I would hang onto my Lord Jesus with all my might because if I had left my life in His hands...who knows where my life would be now...only God does...

So...Live your life for the now...because we aren't suppose to worry about tomorrow...and stay strong in your faith.

God Bless

 

[Avaya]

I don't think it's wrong for you to wish for a wife who hasn't been married before. Keep this in prayer and stick to what you want in a wife. Praise God for chivalrous men!

 

[Leanna]

Hi there, I have a question here I would like to ask.
I am 44 years old, never been married, but I want to be someday.
I am trying to find someone that has never been married, in other words, no divorced women.
Is that wrong of me to think like that?
I am afraid of the "baggage" left over from the previous marriage, may surface in my marriage.

No it is not wrong, however.... its going to be a lot less likely to find someone that has not been married also. But if you're okay with that then there is no problem. You keep whatever standards make you comfortable.

However, most people by your age have been in at least one serious relationship. That will bring baggage also. If you meet someone who has never dated anyone it would either be a miracle or something odd is up with them. Just thoughts....

 

[john44]

"Something Odd"

Oh yeah, I know what you mean there!
A lot of my coworkers think I'm odd, that's for sure!
Some of them think I'm gay too!
(I'm not by the way)

I just laugh it off with them.
You can't let it bother you!

If you do, then you will go nuts!

 

[invisiblebabe]

It also been my experience that He usually gives us what we don't want......great for building Character and a closeness with Him.

I don't mean any offense.... but in general, people who think that way are completely misconstruing God's character. If we ask for a fish, would He give us a snake? If we ask for bread, would He give us a stone?

Like you, I have a hard time not believing that God will always give me what I don't want. People have not treated me very well, and I have been abused.

Sometimes He challenges us, yes..... but there are definitely times when He gives us just what we have always wanted, and even more.

Heh, but I'm preaching to myself here. God gives us what we really want sometimes... if only I could believe that in my heart.

And John, if that is what you strongly want, hold onto it. God won't make you marry someone that you don't want to marry. And, if the choice would be either marry a divorcee or remain celibate... I trust you would also know what is best for you in that situation as well.

God bless
kayli

 

[lurker1001001]

In fact, the Bible says that if you marry a divorced woman you'll be committing adultery, so I'd say your desires are right on track.

The bible also says except for fornication you commit adultery when you remarry. So youre information is partial at best.

 

[lurker1001001]

Hi there, I have a question here I would like to ask.
I am 44 years old, never been married, but I want to be someday.
I am trying to find someone that has never been married, in other words, no divorced women.
Is that wrong of me to think like that?
I am afraid of the "baggage" left over from the previous marriage, may surface in my marriage.

Its not wrong of you to think that, not at all. You alone have to decide if you are ok with a divorcee or not.
You may well be giving up a woman who is the best spouse you could have though, but predetermining this kind of restriction for yourself. All divorcees arent carrying baggage, some just needed to get away from a bad spouse.