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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Someone may have the ability to think for themself...but if over and over, society says that someone doesn't have value for whatever reason, it gets hard not to believe. If this wasn't so, there would be no cases of suicide.
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renewed21
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Not sure If I believe your logic BR. Society mocks and demeans Christians over and over, and I don't let that sway me in the slightest.
We all choose to conform to society or to conform to Christ. Easy choice IMO.
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dayhiker
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I think how much we are willing to conform to something, be it Christ and the Body of Christ, our family or the world depends on a lot of things including out intelligence, wither we are a leader or a follower and the many aspects of the culture we grow up in. Now I have a desire to please people, have since I was very young. Wither is is something in my personality or family or ? I don't know. But at the same time if I really believe something I can stand by myself and believe it even if I'm the only one. seems to me this is a very complicated thing.
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memoriesbymichelle
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yeah when all you see is skinny skinny girls and all the commercials and shows from celebrities on how to look younger like it's SO important, even if you don't totally buy into it, it does get to some after awhile.
It's like some people tell lies so much they start to believe their own lies. It's true!
Even though I have bought into too, I have come to a recent conclusion. The bible says that it is "appointed" to men ONCE to die, and then the judgement. So...if we already have an appointed time, it really doesn't matter what we eat, do or whatever, because our time is already set.
It's like some people tell lies so much they start to believe their own lies. It's true!
Even though I have bought into too, I have come to a recent conclusion. The bible says that it is "appointed" to men ONCE to die, and then the judgement. So...if we already have an appointed time, it really doesn't matter what we eat, do or whatever, because our time is already set.
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Doctor Strangelove
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yeah when all you see is skinny skinny girls and all the commercials and shows from celebrities on how to look younger like it's SO important, even if you don't totally buy into it, it does get to some after awhile.
It's like some people tell lies so much they start to believe their own lies. It's true!
Even though I have bought into too, I have come to a recent conclusion. The bible says that it is "appointed" to men ONCE to die, and then the judgement. So...if we already have an appointed time, it really doesn't matter what we eat, do or whatever, because our time is already set.
I think that verse is more about that one does not get a second chance (no reincarnation) and then there IS a judgement. I agree there is something pathetic about a 45 year old trying to look like a 25 year old. However, we do not know how much is predetermined and how much we have a free will for that we can change (I don't think we have a free will in spiritual matters - I don't believe there is a part of the old nature that can cooperate with God - but we don't know what free will we have in earthly matters).
That being the case, why not try to make good choices? I had a friend who died at a young age. He must have weighed something like 400 lbs, he was a chain smoker and was always eating something. You could say that genetics played a part, but I have to believe he was in the habit of making poor choices and that ruined his health. I know that is an extreme case and I know you are not suggesting someone can be completely careless but...
I still think our choices do matter and they might matter more than we know. I have made a mixture of good and bad choices. On the balance I have made enough good choices so that I can walk or ride a bicycle for miles and it won't faze me (as long as I have enough water). Suppose our time is set and we cannot do anything about it. Suppose I am scheduled to die in 10 years and that is something God has planned and I cannot change it. I would rather die being hit by a truck while going on a 30 mile bicycle trip at age 60 than dropping dead of heart failure after years of being overweight and having other problems, maybe confined to a wheelchair and feeling miserable for years because I made poor choices. I know, I could get struck by lightning tomorrow for all I know.
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Even though I have bought into too, I have come to a recent conclusion. The bible says that it is "appointed" to men ONCE to die, and then the judgement. So...if we already have an appointed time, it really doesn't matter what we eat, do or whatever, because our time is already set.
It says "appointed to die" NOT that you have an set appointment time. I have told my son I WILL buy him a car but I can't say when I will have the time to actually go look at cars.
I do believe that God knows when we will die but that is because He isn't time limited and can stand at the omega of time and look back as easily as he can stand at the alpha and look forward.... and not because it is predestined.
And even if it is a predestined time, what you do can affect the quality of that life. If you don't take care of the temple, you will have to live in a broken down temple....maybe for a long time.
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memoriesbymichelle
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And then there are people who have drank and smoked their entire lives and lived a long life like George Burns.
BTW I'm not advocating for everyone to go out and make poor choices because we can, it's just like sinning, of course we CAN but we shouldn't.
But some people IMO, waste alot of time at the gym or working out trying so hard to be in great shape and they still die young. I just think there are far more important things than whether I can fit into a size 6 or 3 or zero. Of course I can say that, because in part I am sick of trying to lose but I think as a society we put WAY too much emphasis on being Twiggy and I remember when people thought she was too skinny! Now that is the norm and I am obese according to society. Just because most people think something is so, does not make it so IMO.
BTW I'm not advocating for everyone to go out and make poor choices because we can, it's just like sinning, of course we CAN but we shouldn't.
But some people IMO, waste alot of time at the gym or working out trying so hard to be in great shape and they still die young. I just think there are far more important things than whether I can fit into a size 6 or 3 or zero. Of course I can say that, because in part I am sick of trying to lose but I think as a society we put WAY too much emphasis on being Twiggy and I remember when people thought she was too skinny! Now that is the norm and I am obese according to society. Just because most people think something is so, does not make it so IMO.
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As for the pressures of society on us, you may turn off the tv...but the magazines/newpapers will still be there...and the stores will be selling the clothes as you try to find something to wear...and people will judge you based on things like appearance. It might affect who you date/marry...or if you get a certain job...or even, just how you are treated when you are in society. If you don't believe me, then go dress in an extremely strange way...or maybe as a religous sect not so readily accepted...and see if you really have that kind of "control" over your environment.
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As for "obese", most of us are at least overweight on the medical charts. One of my patients was 6'5" and 150lbs (male) and I assumed that he was slightly "underweight"...nope, normal and well in the "normal range". I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one.
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Doctor Strangelove
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Little things can add up and make a difference over the years and we can choose whether it is for the good or for ill.
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renewed21
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I am trying hard to understand your position Dayhiker. I'm a black and white kinda guy. I believe in absolutes and I really dont care what man thinks. So in no way do I want to or try to please any man. It seems simplistic to me.
Therefore my pea-brain can't relate to what you are saying. Could you elaborate of why you tend to be a people pleaser? Could anyone please tell me why theey care what anyone thinks about them or there actions?
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memoriesbymichelle
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Well how we are viewed has an effect, whether good or bad on the people we come into contact with. So if I am to affect people in a positive way, they should be able to "view" me in a positive light as well. So for me, that is why I care what someone else thinks.
Also "not caring" what other people think could potentially put a damper on someone that "might otherwise" become interested in me so in that respect as well, I care what others think.
Do I try to live up to others' standards? Not really. I just try to be the best "me" I can be and I try, although I'm not too successful these past 2 weeks, not to offend anyone, nor judge them for any reason.
Also "not caring" what other people think could potentially put a damper on someone that "might otherwise" become interested in me so in that respect as well, I care what others think.
Do I try to live up to others' standards? Not really. I just try to be the best "me" I can be and I try, although I'm not too successful these past 2 weeks, not to offend anyone, nor judge them for any reason.
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memoriesbymichelle
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Well first off, no I don't mind you asking. So here's what's happened in a nutshell.
Son says he has a plan about his future, doesn't want to tell me the plan yet.
Step daughter hears his plan but he tells her not to tell me.
Step daughter goes on a major rant on FB private messaging and has said some things that I didn't know she felt about me (like I'm a critical, holier than thou, judgemental person and have been since she's known me and that her dad beat her cuz of me, which is not true)
Found out thru my friend that passed aways previous GF that not only was he a liar, I knew that, but supposedly he told her that after my husband passed I showed up at his house in a see thru neglache and he just had to walk away. None of that happened, but he is dead so I can't reallly approach him about it, but it's embarrassing to say the least that he would even say something like that.
So bottom line is I have had to give to God all of the above. And in the case of my son, I totally have given it to God. In the case of my step-daughter I gave it to God, but I also am unsure of where to go from here. When your relationships are based on false assumptions and you find out differently, things just cannot go back to the way they were. I totally forgive her and it's not even that. She is entitled to feel however she wants, her feelings are valid. The lie about her dad beating her, however is not OK. And as far as the dead friend, can't change that and even though I am kind of shocked, it is what it is BUT all of those things affect my view of people. I feel like you never really can know ANYBODY. You just never really know. So I guess the stuggle is what to do about MY feelings on all this. And in those moments when I get upset? That's the struggle
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