Thread for the men (read this)

[renewed21]

Well first off, no I don't mind you asking. So here's what's happened in a nutshell.

Son says he has a plan about his future, doesn't want to tell me the plan yet.
Step daughter hears his plan but he tells her not to tell me.
Step daughter goes on a major rant on FB private messaging and has said some things that I didn't know she felt about me (like I'm a critical, holier than thou, judgemental person and have been since she's known me and that her dad beat her cuz of me, which is not true)
Found out thru my friend that passed aways previous GF that not only was he a liar, I knew that, but supposedly he told her that after my husband passed I showed up at his house in a see thru neglache and he just had to walk away. None of that happened, but he is dead so I can't reallly approach him about it, but it's embarrassing to say the least that he would even say something like that.

So bottom line is I have had to give to God all of the above. And in the case of my son, I totally have given it to God. In the case of my step-daughter I gave it to God, but I also am unsure of where to go from here. When your relationships are based on false assumptions and you find out differently, things just cannot go back to the way they were. I totally forgive her and it's not even that. She is entitled to feel however she wants, her feelings are valid. The lie about her dad beating her, however is not OK. And as far as the dead friend, can't change that and even though I am kind of shocked, it is what it is BUT all of those things affect my view of people. I feel like you never really can know ANYBODY. You just never really know. So I guess the stuggle is what to do about MY feelings on all this. And in those moments when I get upset? That's the struggle

Michelle that is a lot to deal with, especially when these folks are close to you. I truely feel for you sister. It sucks when you can't count on those who you think are the closest.

I wish that you didn't have to deal with this garbage but you appear to be very strong. From what I know of you (which is very little) I can tell that what was said about you isnt true. As you know, often people will blame-shift onto others to make themselves feel better or to justify certain actions or feelings. This appears to be the case.

Just remember, you buds on Cf 'mature' are here for you and we love you and respect you . Big Hugs sister and stay strong

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Michelle that is a lot to deal with, especially when these folks are close to you. I truely feel for you sister. It sucks when you can't count on those who you think are the closest.

I wish that you didn't have to deal with this garbage but you appear to be very strong. From what I know of you (which is very little) I can tell that what was said about you isnt true. As you know, often people will blame-shift onto others to make themselves feel better or to justify certain actions or feelings. This appears to be the case.

Just remember, you buds on Cf 'mature' are here for you and we love you and respect you . Big Hugs sister and stay strong

Awe....thanks! I tell ya, if I didn't have somewhere to "rant" I would probably be a lunatic by now......wait!......I already AM a lunatic . Oh well LOL I DO appreciate everyone that is my friend on here. All I ever try to be in life is good to people. My mother taught me long ago, that life was not fair and that is true. We live in a broken world and we are all broken people. And without Christ we are nothing and life would be completely meaningless. My boys and I are doing fine. I am ready to face the next challenge. If my step daughter wants a relationship she will have to contact me and deal with truth. If not, God knows I've been nothing but good to her and her sister. I still love them and I hope my boys and I never end up not talking like this. It's just silly when our time is so short here on this earth.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Could you elaborate of why you tend to be a people pleaser

Although doens't the bible also say not to be a people pleaser? Example my cousin recently told me "Your fiance is against gays, why would you date her?". I could have made up some comment to make my cousin happy, but instead I simply said "I know she is, I am not for it either.". Which obviously my cousin walked away speechless.

We are to love, but we are not to be door mats or kiss peoples butts to make them happy. I won't lie to someone when they want me to say something such as agreeing on their opinion. Thats just me though.

I used to be more of a "Grey area" person. I could see both sides of things and could see things from both points. But I realized by doing that I am trying to please everyone even though I know its impossible to please everyone. When Obama when I stated I was disappointed with the direction of this country and a few of my non-religious friends (And family) left hateful comments on my page about me expressing my views. I simply told them feel free to delete me as a friend then, I'm not here to make be your "Yes man".