Thread for the men (read this)

[Life2Christ]

I found this article about what men like about women and these were some of the comments of the article. I'm going to cut & paste them. Do you agree (generally) with the female comments or the male comments??? Which comment resonates with you the most?



COMMENT WRITTEN BY MAN

I'd pick the average girl in sneakers, jeans, and a t-shirt over the bombshell in heels any day. Like the guy in the article said, "I want someone to love me, not feel like every guy in the room is trying to take the person I love away from me."

COMMENT WRITTEN BY MAN

Oh yeah, absolutely. Not a day goes by when i don't think "Wow, i wish my girlfriend was a troll, then i could be secure"....... What utter rubbish. Personality is of course top of the list but attraction has to be there as well! And to anyone who worries their partner is too good looking i say Get a Grip! If you've got insecurities about the relationship then that's exactly what they are... They're YOUR insecurities, YOUR trust issues and YOUR problem to deal with. So Deal with it!

COMMENT WRITTEN BY WOMAN

news flash ... men like different qualities in women, just like women like different qualities in men. it's what gives variety in life.

COMMENT WRITTEN BY WOMAN

No these are still desirable qualities both the 'hot' girl ones and the average girl ones. However, not only is it based off of the insecurity of the guy/girl you are dating, but also that the sum of a person is much more complex than 5 stupid adjectives.

 

[dayhiker]

I can relate to the above quotes except for the insecurities part. I have no problem being with a pretty woman. My last GF was about as pretty as a woman gets at our age!

I don't have a lit of adjectives that I'm looking for. OK, I'll be honest, a FAT woman wouldn't do it for me. I'm not talked over weight by 20 lbs, I'm talking over weight by more than 50 lbs. I actually like a woman to be a little over weight. After that its about chemistry do I fall in love with her. I have no idea how to define who that is.

 

[blackribbon]

Okay...not a guy but "attractive" is such a relative word...there are plenty of women who are plain but considered beautiful by the man who loves her. And honestly, there is so much more to how a person (male or female) is perceived than their outside package. The proof is how you can see a drop dead gorgeous person...at least they seemed that way until they opened their mouth and their personality pours out.

If you doubt that every female can be found attractive by some man, then go sit in a crowded area like a busy mall and just look at the couples that walk by. I promise you will see some dumpy, plain women who have some man walking with them that just appears to genuinely believe he has the most beautiful woman in the world on his arm.

I think the outside package become less important as you get to know someone. So yes, it might affect how often someone gets asked out...but it really doesn't change who really finds a lifelong love.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Okay...not a guy but "attractive" is such a relative word...there are plenty of women who are plain but considered beautiful by the man who loves her. And honestly, there is so much more to how a person (male or female) is perceived than their outside package. The proof is how you can see a drop dead gorgeous person...at least they seemed that way until they opened their mouth and their personality pours out.

If you doubt that every female can be found attractive by some man, then go sit in a crowded area like a busy mall and just look at the couples that walk by. I promise you will see some dumpy, plain women who have some man walking with them that just appears to genuinely believe he has the most beautiful woman in the world on his arm.

I think the outside package become less important as you get to know someone. So yes, it might affect how often someone gets asked out...but it really doesn't change who really finds a lifelong love.

Yep Yep Yep!

 

[CounselorForChrist]

^What BlackRibbon said^

 

[redblue22]

none of them.

 

[renewed21]

COMMENT WRITTEN BY MAN

I'd pick the average girl in sneakers, jeans, and a t-shirt over the bombshell in heels any day. Like the guy in the article said, "I want someone to love me, not feel like every guy in the room is trying to take the person I love away from me."


I personally don't feel this way. I dont care how a woman looks on the outside. An I am not paranoid about some other guy stealing my woman.


​

COMMENT WRITTEN BY MAN

Oh yeah, absolutely. Not a day goes by when i don't think "Wow, i wish my girlfriend was a troll, then i could be secure"....... What utter rubbish. Personality is of course top of the list but attraction has to be there as well! And to anyone who worries their partner is too good looking i say Get a Grip! If you've got insecurities about the relationship then that's exactly what they are... They're YOUR insecurities, YOUR trust issues and YOUR problem to deal with. So Deal with it!


This is me exactly.
​

COMMENT WRITTEN BY WOMAN

news flash ... men like different qualities in women, just like women like different qualities in men. it's what gives variety in life.

True
​

COMMENT WRITTEN BY WOMAN

No these are still desirable qualities both the 'hot' girl ones and the average girl ones. However, not only is it based off of the insecurity of the guy/girl you are dating, but also that the sum of a person is much more complex than 5 stupid adjectives.

I dont quite follow what she is trying to communicate here.

​

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I personally don't feel this way. I dont care how a woman looks on the outside. An I am not paranoid about some other guy stealing my woman.

That is both a good and bad. It depends on how much you love the person your with though. While you may not worry about her being taken away/stolen by another. Thing is if that spark is going away, there are always other men who will try to swoon her towards them if they see that problem you two have together.

Its why its important to keep that spark going. I don't worry about another man anyways, but at the same time I do realize there are men (especially in the USA) who even in the church like to break up others. At our old church whenever a woman went through something traumatic, alot of men who were single would show up to console her. Some of which did have other intentions.

I have my faith in God though and don't worry about my fiance being taken away because I trust her 100%. Just as she feels the same.

On a side note I never understood how the outside of someone matters to anyone. Its why when I see women getting older who spend most of their time looking young by buying millions of products , dying their hair...etc it makes me sad. The world has made them feel that outside means everything when it does not.

 

[Niels]

This comment resonates most strongly with me:

news flash ... men like different qualities in women, just like women like different qualities in men. it's what gives variety in life.

 

[GeekWriter]

What I want to know is why people continually choose the wrong person for them, such as:

1) They know and admit they know it's the wrong person
2) The person is abusive or controlling, and it's obvious before they date
3) They choose someone they know will never have any interest in them
4) They ignore the people that would be awesome for them

I am so tired of my female friends being abused, ripped apart, stalked, harassed, spiritually manipulated, or ignored. I'm tired of my male friends choosing girls for their looks who are completely shallow and/or not Christians, being very apathetic, being poor spiritual leaders, and complaining about how nobody will date them because they are nice when they only want the shallow girls and not the perfect girl next to them.

 

[renewed21]

On a side note I never understood how the outside of someone matters to anyone. Its why when I see women getting older who spend most of their time looking young by buying millions of products , dying their hair...etc it makes me sad. The world has made them feel that outside means everything when it does not.

freak, how has the world made them feel that looks mean everything?

 

[renewed21]

What I want to know is why people continually choose the wrong person for them, such as:

1) They know and admit they know it's the wrong person
2) The person is abusive or controlling, and it's obvious before they date
3) They choose someone they know will never have any interest in them
4) They ignore the people that would be awesome for them

I am so tired of my female friends being abused, ripped apart, stalked, harassed, spiritually manipulated, or ignored. I'm tired of my male friends choosing girls for their looks who are completely shallow and/or not Christians, being very apathetic, being poor spiritual leaders, and complaining about how nobody will date them because they are nice when they only want the shallow girls and not the perfect girl next to them.

geek, are you perhaps a bit gender biased in your thoughts?

 

[blackribbon]

geek, are you perhaps a bit gender biased in your thoughts?

I think geek was commenting about the stupidity of both sexes...

 

[fishist1]

What I want to know is why people continually choose the wrong person for them, such as:

1) They know and admit they know it's the wrong person
2) The person is abusive or controlling, and it's obvious before they date
3) They choose someone they know will never have any interest in them
4) They ignore the people that would be awesome for them

I am so tired of my female friends being abused, ripped apart, stalked, harassed, spiritually manipulated, or ignored. I'm tired of my male friends choosing girls for their looks who are completely shallow and/or not Christians, being very apathetic, being poor spiritual leaders, and complaining about how nobody will date them because they are nice when they only want the shallow girls and not the perfect girl next to them.

Obviously the guy is supposed to step up and be the leader, but if he doesnt then the girl needs to step up and be the leader...if she doesnt shes just as guilty as the guy not stepping up. I know the bible talks about women being the "weaker vessel" more emotional and such, but that doesnt mean its ok for the girl to follow guy in sin and say oh well its his fault cause he wasnt a good leader.

 

[GeekWriter]

I think geek was commenting about the stupidity of both sexes...

Yep. Though most often that expression of stupidity is different.

Sorry. Rash of weddings lately.... Some of which I know the person knew they aren't marrying for the right reasons, because they told me so.

 

[redblue22]

I think I'm going to follow what you are saying. Instead of looking far and wide, I'll start with that person right next to me who might just be perfect for me. Someone in arms length. Hey, wait, that's you!

So, Geekwriter, how you doin'? (shakes a tictac into mouth for fresh breath)

 

[GeekWriter]

Technically speaking, being on a forum sorta implies you're not next to somebody...

Historically, I'm single because I've chosen to be. I could have settled for a number of guys. I have a very specific set of criteria now. I didn't use to, but I'm old enough now to have a pretty good idea of what would work and what wouldn't. Totally not against settling if the person is a decent, mature growing Christian and would make a solid partner. But those seem to be the things nobody ever wants.

I'm ALWAYS the friend that everybody runs to when things go bad. One of my best friends just divorced her husband of over 10 years, and I knew before they were married it wouldn't last. One of my other best friends just married a non-Christian, and never once introduced me to her because he knew it was a bad idea. One of my other close friends has been married 3 times and kept getting kids from each marriage. I have one best single friend, and every guy in the world follows her around, but they lose all sense of maturity and decency when they do, even if they are Christians. So cynical, yes.

 

[blackribbon]

Technically speaking, being on a forum sorta implies you're not next to somebody...

LOL...I once dated a guy who I met on a forum (not this one). There were times when we sat in the same room and talked through the forum.

However, part of it was that it was a "support" oriented forum and we were still just participating in it. There was another factor in it that we hadn't told anyone that we met and were "trying this out"....so we were continuing as usual so that no one would guess (....someone would have wondered if we both disappeared for several days at the same time they knew I was traveling). The big secret was that if it didn't work, we both wanted to still be able to stay on the forum and just not mentioning the relationship was the best way to keep it from getting weird.

 

[redblue22]

um, well, uh, good luck with that.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

freak, how has the world made them feel that looks mean everything?

Well (assuming you live in America), the media pushes that you must be skinny, perfect skin, perfect clothes, perfect this, perfect that as a woman.

True not all women get sucked into the loop of having to look perfect, but alot I've seen do. The industry of making yourself look perfect makes so much money it blows my mind. Theres nothing wrong with keeping yourself nice looking or presentable. But when you obsess over it then theres an issue and I blame our media for that.

Look at all the recent controversies of photoshopped models in magazines where they make them look think, no wrinkles, no blemishes...etc. Growing up young woman see this and feel they must be the same or they won't be accepted. Its why some women have anorexia.

I guess the point I am making is looks shouldn't matter, but to a young woman trying to find her place in the world growing up, the media plants seeds in her head that she has to look like a supermodel to be accepted. Of course it doesn't help that man often treat woman like meat and call only the beautiful ones hot. Which makes the ones who don't get those comments work harder at trying to be that perfect.

The first woman I was with had her weight still from having a baby a few years before. No matter how much I told her she was beautiful she would say she was ugly compared to any number of people she knew. She didn't understand some things. One, your beautiful to God. Two, ugly doesn't exist, God made you who you are. Three, even if you assume your ugly, to the right guy he will see you beautifully and no one elses opinion matters. And lastly, beauty fades with age.

Which if hard for some to accept. My mother dyes her hair often, buys wrinkle remover, tries to find clothes that make her look skinnier. Me, I started graying when I was a young teen because of the crazy amount of meds I was on. Not fully grey, but I started having MANY gray hairs non the less. I've accepted looks don't matter. I just wish the world would stop acting like its all that matters in life.