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Thoughts?

Discussion in 'Courting Couples' started by ChadTheHoser, Jun 21, 2017.

  1. ChadTheHoser

    ChadTheHoser Keep Your Stick On The Ice! Supporter

    47
    +30
    Canada
    Christian
    Married
    CA-Conservatives
    Hey everyone, I have somewhat of a matter I need to discuss and get some feedback.

    I was baptized as a teen on my own accord, but as life's paths were in front of me I always seemed to take the wrong ones. Drugs and alcohol where always a part of my life, and certain groups.

    I have cleaned myself up and getting in touch with God again. This has been a lot of work for me. Rekindling a relationship with God again is calling to me daily.

    When I'm at home, my fiance is not that interested in going to church. When I talk about God, she gets awkward. Last night I was working on a baby gate at the top of our stairs, and I was having a tough time with this particular gate. I was getting frustrated while keeping my cool. She asked "Are you ok? you seem to be having a tough time." I responded with "I asked god to give me the strenghth to be patient, and of course he doesn't just give it to you, he gives you the opportunity to become patient." She then said something along the lines of "Why is it GOD that is helping you and not you?"

    I left it at that, but I guess the question is, can this work with me being a practicing christian with her? She is open to the Idea, she reads a children's bible to our daughter and seems to believe but has no interest in going to church or praying or even talking about the bible very much.

    My thought is, I should just keep on trucking and lead by example of a good christian and hope she gets more motivated to join me.

    What do you think?

    Thank you in advance for your thoughts.
     
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  2. Hidden In Him

    Hidden In Him Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,367
    Christian
    Married
    Hmmmm...

    First off, Greetings Chad, and God bless! Glad you decided to post.

    Well, the first thing that strikes me is that you are engaged but not married yet, so this leaves the option to maybe decide to call things off if it looks like she may not truly share your faith with you. I mean, her being a "Christian" in name only isn't the same as actually being one.

    So my first though would be to ask how certain you are about if she is truly the one or not.

    Please note: I am not trying to dissuade you either way, only trying to find out how you feel about things.
     
  3. ChristopherK

    ChristopherK Member

    178
    +141
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Constitution
    You'd certainly be tasked with leading by example for both your future spouse and others who watch your walk, so that's a good idea. I would also figure out a way to have a conversation about the matter and maybe with a third party that would bring comfort to her discussing it in the open. I say that because it could fester and grow into a bigger problem than it needs to be later on. So maybe try to find out why she feels the way she feels.
     
  4. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,804
    Christian
    Single
    This could get complicated.

    First off, these are just questions that do pertain to your concerns and far from any judgement.

    You mentioned fiance' and baby gate. Are you gong to have a baby or just getting ready?
     
  5. HenryM

    HenryM Well-Known Member

    616
    +224
    Bangladesh
    Christian
    Private
    I agree with your thoughts of leading by example. If God doesn't want you to be with your fiance, God will make it so one way or the other.
     
  6. ChadTheHoser

    ChadTheHoser Keep Your Stick On The Ice! Supporter

    47
    +30
    Canada
    Christian
    Married
    CA-Conservatives
    Well, we have our differences, but we have been together for almost 10 years, off and on in the beginning of the relationship, we have come to a better place and we try to discuss each other more and more. With my career I work a lot of hours and hold meetings and discuss things a lot during the day. I'm tired and don't want to talk when I get home but I am making more of an effort to see to her needs.

    She is a great woman, a terrific mother and just a good all around person. She is very soft and isnt very mechanically inclined. Her father pretty much sheltered her from the world, while I was a wild man.

    We do love each other and are making an effort to show it to each other more.
     
  7. ChadTheHoser

    ChadTheHoser Keep Your Stick On The Ice! Supporter

    47
    +30
    Canada
    Christian
    Married
    CA-Conservatives
    We have a 2.5 year old, and she is a gift from God, perfect in every way.. other than the 'terrible 2's' attitude. haha.
    We have been together for almost 10 years, off and on in the beginning.
    She moved far up north for me, to join me and start our family. She doesn't really care for this town. But showing her love by being with me.
     
  8. Hidden In Him

    Hidden In Him Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,367
    Christian
    Married
    This sounds like a good relationship.

    Maybe there are reasons in her heart and mind for why she just doesn't care for organized religion. Have you asked her? What are her reasons for not taking any interest in discussing the Bible with you? Is she afraid of debate, or that you won't listen to her opinions? Why do you think she has no interest in prayer?
     
  9. ChristopherK

    ChristopherK Member

    178
    +141
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Constitution
    Okay, hold on. I think you should DEFINITELY have a sit down and talk to her about how she's feeling, because you just offered new information. She moved up north for you and doesn't like the town she's in. I'm not saying this IS anything, but as a future husband, you ALWAYS want to be one step ahead of your wife's concerns so that she sees you are an active listener and concerned with her well-being.
     
  10. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,804
    Christian
    Single
    I'd say, as deep as you are in, things are pretty well decided...now be that example you feel you should be, do the Christian thing, and Marry her. :)
     
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