This week

[karalianne]

Hi, everyone.

I've been away from CF for a while, not completely sure why as I really like it here.

Anyway, on Friday I was diagnosed by a psychologist as having ADD. I thought I had it, so this isn't exactly a surprise, but it's still weird.

I'm not telling a lot of people - just a few select RL friends and my immediate family (and some online friends, of course).

My doctor's office has online booking of appointments, so I put in a request for one for sometime this week. I don't know just when it's going to end up being, but I'll post when I know.

I'm more nervous about the doctor's appointment than I was about the psychologist visit. I don't know how difficult the doctor is going to be to convince that I really do have ADD, and that he should give me a prescription. The other side of this is that I am, basically, one of those "working poor" that we usually hear about in association with things like homeless shelters and food banks. The difference being that I have a job (or three), a place to live, and a few nice things. Nevermind that I have debts up to my eyeballs - I don't technically qualify for assistance. Anyway, I don't have any health insurance because I don't have a full-time job with an agency and can't afford to pay for individual coverage (and I think I make too much to be considered for a reduction in premiums, to boot). I know that Concerta costs a fair amount. I was told that the manufacturers have subsidy programs, but I don't live in the US (I'm Canadian), so I don't know if I would qualify even if I make little enough.

None of this helps my ADD, when it comes right down to it. I use anxiety to compensate for my symptoms, which is probably how I managed to *get* two undergrad degrees in the first place (albeit with a much lower GPA than I would be capable of without these symptoms holding me back).

The psychologist said that if I continue without treatment, I will probably develop an anxiety disorder, which of course would be a Very Bad Thing, but if I treat my ADD, the anxiety and depression I currently have trouble with (oh, and OCD tendencies) should abate. I *want to treat my ADD*. I want to be on time for things. I want to be able to get things done without procrastinating constantly.

I'm looking for a new, better job. I've also got a book out of the library about how to become a freelance writer (not the kind who writes magazine articles, but the kind who does corporate writing), which I think will be a good idea if I can get the self-starting thing under control. I love writing, and I'm good at it. I don't have a degree in anything resembling writing (well, writing music, but whatever), but I have talent and have some good samples from volunteer writing I do/have done.

I'm also wanting to go back to school, but there are a number of factors that could prevent me from doing so. My GPA sucks, and I still owe money to the last institution I took a degree at. It's frustrating, because these factors are both in existence due to the ways ADD has affected my life.

I need prayer. My anxiety levels are going up, and I need to treat my ADD so my anxiety levels will *drop*.

Please pray for all of these situations.

Thanks so much!

-JL

 

[Linus]

Dear heavenly Father, help our beloved sister. Heal her and guide with searching for a new line of work, show her the way.

 

[Cat59]

Praying for you karalianne, that the Lord will bless you with help in this situation and that your doctors appointment will go well.

 

[karalianne]

Thanks for the prayers, guys - they're already paying off! I came home tonight to a message from the provincial gov't, wanting an interview for a job I applied for a bit ago. The job is as a Support Worker, Family Support for Children with Disabilities. It's just a part-time gig, and temporary at that, but I would probably be able to keep the work I have now, and you never know... if I do well in the position, maybe they'll want me to stay on when the contract is up. Of course, first I have to *get* the job... so please pray. I'll post when I know when the interview will be.

My doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon at 3:00pm my time (for reference, it's currently about 8:00pm here).

Thanks again.

-JL

 

[Cat59]

Praying for your appointment (I think it's about now, but I'm useless with all this time lag..)

 

[angelwind]

I am encouraged by your persistance to overcome your affliction...God bless you sweetie!!!!

Lord I ask for Your most welcome and divine help to this sister. I ask for a breakthru for her...something that she cannot think to ask for herself. Lord bring peace and stability to her brain chemistry and stabilize her emotions. Give her courage "under fire"...and increase her wisdom Lord.

 

[RapturedToday]

I think you are doing everything that God wants you to do. You will get the best job and you are dealing with the ADD and soon you will be right on tract! My dear friend suffers with Anxiety and ADD, she takes one pill every other day and it is working for her now.(3 months now). So if you absolutly have to take the medicine, give it a try. Always ask the Lord to help you with your ADD and he will. I promise, He promises! Take care. You are an inspiration to me. Very persistant and positive. You will go far in life! God Bless U!

 

[karalianne]

Thanks, all.

Job interview on March 2.

Doctor's an idiot, I'm seeing someone else on Thursday at 2:30pm.

 

[dia_liom]

Lord, we life up karalianne to You in prayer. We pray that You'll work in her life, in ways she can see, to provide healing of her ADD, or that You'll provide a more stable income for her so that she does have the health benefits she needs.

We pray, too, that You'll help her feel Your presence in her life, giving her comfort, and that she'll be able to give her burdens to You.

Amen

 

[Abiel]

We are with you.

 

[RapturedToday]

Thanks, all.

Job interview on March 2.

Doctor's an idiot, I'm seeing someone else on Thursday at 2:30pm.

What did the DR tell you? praying.......

 

[karalianne]

The doctor asked all kinds of questions, obviously discounted the documentation I brought in because he doesn't know who the psychologist is, and said he wants to refer me to a psychiatrist. Said referral will take a while to get, and I did *not* see him make any notes to that effect in my file, either.

*****

"Is there anything different going on right now?" No, not really.
"Are you depressed?" Not right now.
"Are you finding time to do things you enjoy doing?" Often to the exclusion of things I *need* to do.
"Did you show signs in elementary school?" Not really until high school with academics, but I've had social skills problems all my life. And it presents differently in girls than it does in boys.
"Well, I don't really do much with these checklists, and I'm not familiar with these tests. I don't know this psychologist. I want to refer you to a psychiatrist for a second opinion, which could take a while. I'm assuming you're not in a rush, since you've managed this long." (The tests being the computerized ones I did on Friday.)

I respond by smiling and nodding and biting back all of her desire to yell and scream and throw things.

He didn't even *pretend* to take me seriously.

I am *not* one of these people who read an article in a magazine or saw an ad for Strattera on TV (it's not even available in Canada yet anyhow) and decided that describes me. I'm *not* one of these people who is after meds - heck, I self-medicate with *candy*, not liquor or drugs! I only go to the doctor if I absolutely have to, and I only take pain-killers for headaches and cramps. I take Benylin for colds. And that's *it*.

I have done the reading. Obviously *way* more than that doctor has. I've read a *whole* heckuvalot, and I'm still reading. I finally found something that *explains* me, that explains *everything* (not just certain bits, the way Avoidant Personality Disorder and Asperger's did). And he *totally* invalidated that in about fifteen minutes.

 

[karalianne]

New doctor was great.

Said he doesn't have any issues prescribing for patients from the psychologist I saw because she is actually very wary of suggesting medication for people unless they actually need it. He's willing to be my main doctor now, too.

Applied for two jobs today. Hopefully I'll get more interviews soon!

Thanks everyone for praying.

Tomorrow if my first day on the Concerta.

 

[JPPT1974]

Glad that the doctor was great as well as your family. God bless!

 

[Live4theLord]

Lifting many prayers to the Lord for you. May God grant you a great job and help you with your ADD. I am glad to hear that you found a good doctor.

God Bless,
Charity

 

[devoted daughter]

May the Lord be with you and give you peace and clarity; may you be lifted from anxiety and have healing; may your doctor be guided as to help you heal and support you. INJC

 

[karalianne]

Hey, everyone!

The job interview didn't go so well.

I'm still looking, but things are changing at the agency I work for, so I'm going to see what happens there.

I've come up with some ideas to try and get my money under control, so prayers that I would be able to stick with the plan would be very helpful.

Also, I've been sick for two weeks and found out on Friday that one of the kids I work with has pneumonia - which means I may have it, too. I doubt that I do, but I'm going to get checked out anyhow.

I'm not sure about school anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do about that. Too many choices and too many obstacles.