This is really eating at me

[Natalie De La Fontaine]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

Your reaction is not unusual. A lot of people are not "touchy-feely". That includes me. I'd be asking Lord Jesus to be your wisdom in this situation, so you don't offend your friend unnecessarily, but you are not stressed either. We'll pray for you as well.

 

[Natalie De La Fontaine]

Your reaction is not unusual. A lot of people are not "touchy-feely". That includes me. I'd be asking Lord Jesus to be your wisdom in this situation, so you don't offend your friend unnecessarily, but you are not stressed either. We'll pray for you as well.

THNK you so much for commenting and understanding. A lot of scarring stuff has happened in my life and I was hugged a lot by strangers during that time so I think that has psychological effects on me. Like my family I have no problem with but yet with my best friend I’m stand offish and The devil is messing with my head saying “ well why is it her that makes you feel that way” and I’m 100 percent straight so it’s not like that . This whole situation really sucks thank you very much for praying

 

[Aussie Pete]

THNK you so much for commenting and understanding. A lot of scarring stuff has happened in my life and I was hugged a lot by strangers during that time so I think that has psychological effects on me. Like my family I have no problem with but yet with my best friend I’m stand offish and The devil is messing with my head saying “ well why is it her that makes you feel that way” and I’m 100 percent straight so it’s not like that . This whole situation really sucks thank you very much for praying

Have you told her your issues? She may be a lot more understanding than you imagine.

 

[Hazelelponi]

THNK you so much for commenting and understanding. A lot of scarring stuff has happened in my life and I was hugged a lot by strangers during that time so I think that has psychological effects on me. Like my family I have no problem with but yet with my best friend I’m stand offish and The devil is messing with my head saying “ well why is it her that makes you feel that way” and I’m 100 percent straight so it’s not like that . This whole situation really sucks thank you very much for praying

I would just be honest with her... just tell her your uncomfortable with physically hugging, likely due to childhood trauma, and would appreciate her understanding in this aspect of your friendship.

It's no big deal. People who hug are just affectionate people but that affection extends to wanting those they care for to feel comfortable around them too...

I'm someone who hugs and it wouldn't bother me if one of my friends told me they were uncomfortable... I'd respect them enough to stop without question.

 

[Natalie De La Fontaine]

I would just be honest with her... just tell her your uncomfortable with physically hugging, likely due to childhood trauma, and would appreciate her understanding in this aspect of your friendship.

It's no big deal. People who hug are just affectionate people but that affection extends to wanting those they care for to feel comfortable around them too...

Thank you so much, she is very understanding I think this is more of a me problem I actually told her and she said she completely understood but after a few months of her not hugging and stuff I felt so bad so I told her I was fine now it didn’t bother me . But it still does so I’ll have to tell her again right now it’s the guilt that the devil is putting on me like if you’re straight why does the hugging making you feel so physically strange but the thing is I don’t like it it would be different if I did. I know I sound crazy God bless you all for listening and giving me advice

 

[Hazelelponi]

Thank you so much, she is very understanding I think this is more of a me problem I actually told her and she said she completely understood but after a few months of her not hugging and stuff I felt so bad so I told her I was fine now it didn’t bother me . But it still does so I’ll have to tell her again right now it’s the guilt that the devil is putting on me like if you’re straight why does the hugging making you feel so physically strange but the thing is I don’t like it it would be different if I did. I know I sound crazy God bless you all for listening and giving me advice

You don't sound crazy... you just sound like you have an inherent guilt complex that is unnecessary... you don't need to feel guilty for who you are and the way you feel. It would be a boring world if we were all clones of one another.

Respect yourself enough to be yourself... God made us to be individuals...

 

[Ceallaigh]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

There's absolutely nothing for you to feel guilty about. It doesn't have anything to do with your character. This is something either psychological, like having claustrophobia or neurological. I'm not saying I think you have autism, but I've been on autism forums for years and I know there's many people who can't stand to even be touched, simply because they're wired differently. So I think all that's wrong with you is some kind of quirk that can probably be worked out.

 

[Ceallaigh]

BTW I've had problems with that too. Especially when I was in my late teens and 20's. At church I hated doing the meet and greet thing. I just wanted to keep to myself.

 

[AK1982]

Until you sort things in your head, stay away from all the uncomfortable hugs for a while. Break stuff down and handle one at a time. Your past, your current thoughts, you being open with your friend about your ordeal, trying to protect your friendship in this mess ... you are handling so much at a time, in your mind. Take a break, take it slow and first things first. Keep praying and reading the word until things are sorted in your head. Take a short break in your relationships if you want to.

And any guilt that cripples you from moving forward in Christ is from devil. Godly sorrow leads to repentance and salvation. But worldly sorrow and guilt brings spiritual death.

You are in my prayers.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

You use " they" rather than he or she, can you be more specific?

 

[GTW27]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

Blessings in Christ Jesus. There will come a day, that you will look back at this, and chuckle. The further we walk upon this path, He increases as we decrease. He is One who Loves freely, and expresses Love openly, including hugs. As He increases, His Love smashes down the walls that we have constructed because of others. Give it time you will see.

 

[Natalie De La Fontaine]

Blessings in Christ Jesus. There will come a day, that you will look back at this, and chuckle. The further we walk upon this path, He increases as we decrease. He is One who Loves freely, and expresses Love openly, including hugs. As He increases, His Love smashes down the walls that we have constructed because of others. Give it time you will see.

Thank you so much for this message I really needed it I was actually stressing about it rigth now and I felt the need to check the forums and I saw ur comment thank you so much

 

[LoricaLady]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

I pray you will be given insight, wisdom, and guidance as to why you are feeling that way. I pray you will be free from those feelings.

 

[LastAcorn99]

Hello Friends

I have a somewhat silent prayer request and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve been dealing with if for a year. When I’m around my very best friend and they hug me I feel very uncomfortable whenever they attempt to show normal affectionate actions I tense up and feel very strange. And I feel so bad for this because they are very loving and DONT get much love from their family so I want to be huggable but I cant my body physically stresses out and weird feelings occur I can’t believe I’m writing this. Please pray this feeling goes away. I feel so wrong , dirty , and guilty thank you all

I'll be praying for you, Natalie. May the Lord will reveal His healing presence to you in a special and powerful way, filling you with His love, peace, and strength in the days ahead. Blessings!