This Is My Fireproof Thread

JanniGirl · Jan 4, 2012

I got the idea that God can change people’s lives. That nobody need be lost to addiction (of any sort) if they turn to God. And that we need to sometimes violently cut away the sins that bind us. So, I found it very encouraging. I’m not sure if it was supposed to make me a better wife. Perhaps a better person, yes. Why would I want it, necessarily to only focus on one area of my life? –Hmm. Seems like a little bit of tunnel vision going on – where if something doesn’t directly benefit the man then it’s of no use to the woman. (weird thinking, imo). Seems like just another way to discard something because it’s not necessarily focused on making your wife more subservient to you.

My question: Why wouldn’t you find it inspiring for someone in the grip of sin to overcome that sin in a very real and profound way? – Why would any Christian distain that message?

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

dreamer1982 said:
You make so many assumptions of us without asking questions. Romans already told you she got the book for herself. Guess what; after I watched that movie with my h, I got it too, and went through it, without telling him. *rolls eyes* That must shock you since we're women and are therefore apparently preachy at our husbands while doing nothing to benefit our marriages.

Did anyone see me ask a question? Thought not.

So you went through the "Love Dare"? You read "Day 27, Love Encourages"? Really? After reading what you've posted about unrealistic expectations of conversion (in Fireproof) I would be amazed at that. You read "Day 39, Love Endures"? Are you saying that you will never leave your spouse until one of you dies, no matter what? Are you recommending that to other wives? No matter what, really?

"[FONT=&quot]Divorce is nearly inevitable when people refuse to allow their spouses to be human. So there needs to be a transition in your thinking. You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations. The way your spouse has been for the last ten years is likely what he or she will be in the future apart from your loving encouragement and an intervention from God. Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others." (The Love Dare, page 131)

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Personally, I think that the conversion represented by Caleb in "Fireproof" is an unrealistic standard and that holding him up to ones spouse (male or female) would be an unrealistic expectation.[/FONT]

If you have suggested that a wife shouldn't leave her husband even if he is addicted to pornography, if he is adulterous, abusive, demands sex from his wife or is an all around jerk then I missed it. Please point me to that post. Are you sure you "did" Day 39? You really really committed to it?

[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]Todays Dare[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]He delights in unchanging love. (Micah 7:18)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot](The Love Dare, pg 194)
[/FONT]

I'm glad to hear that you got something positive out of the film and the movie. If I had been advocating this movie I would have led off with a personal testimonial. I guess everyone has their own approach.

JanniGirl · Jan 4, 2012

Wow. You missed something? NO! Couldn't happen. After all, aren't you a man?!

btw -- nothing unrealistic about someone overcoming sin. Not at all.

hijklmnop · Jan 4, 2012

I Art Laughing said:
Did anyone see me ask a question? Thought not.

That's exactly what I said.

I Art Laughing said:
So you went through the "Love Dare"? You read "Day 27, Love Encourages"? Really? After reading what you've posted about unrealistic expectations of conversion (in Fireproof) I would be amazed at that. You read "Day 39, Love Endures"? Are you saying that you will never leave your spouse until one of you dies, no matter what? Are you recommending that to other wives? No matter what, really?

Yes, I did read it. No, I'm not saying I'll never leave my spouse until one of us dies, no matter what. If you knew my testimony, you'd know that! Am I recommending that to other wives? Obviously not, if I don't abide by it myself. Ideally I would love my h and I to be together till we die. But I won't stay "no matter what." Nor do I expect him to. [FONT=&quot]

[/FONT]

I Art Laughing said:
[FONT=&quot]Personally, I think that the conversion represented by Caleb in "Fireproof" is an unrealistic standard and that holding him up to ones spouse (male or female) would be an unrealistic expectation.[/FONT]

Huh...unrealistic according to the world's expectations? Or God's? Because if Caleb's transformation is unrealistic than my h's transformation is out of this world! With God, ANYthing is possible...and I don't like the intense discouragement of ENcouragement and HOPE I'm seeing in this thread.

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

I Art Laughing said:
If you have suggested that a wife shouldn't leave her husband even if he is addicted to pornography, if he is adulterous, abusive, demands sex from his wife or is an all around jerk then I missed it. Please point me to that post. Are you sure you "did" Day 39? You really really committed to it?

Nope, NEVER suggested anything of the sort. I'm not sure where you got that. Just because I said that I bought the book? I read it all right....and threw it aside LONG before I "did" Day 39. LOL

The funny thing is, I don't even "advocate" for this movie. I just don't think it's the man-bashing thing that so many of you seem to think it is.

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

JanniGirl said:
I got the idea that God can change peoples lives. That nobody need be lost to addiction (of any sort) if they turn to God. And that we need to sometimes violently cut away the sins that bind us. So, I found it very encouraging. Im not sure if it was supposed to make me a better wife. Perhaps a better person, yes. Why would I want it, necessarily to only focus on one area of my life? Hmm. Seems like a little bit of tunnel vision going on where if something doesnt directly benefit the man then its of no use to the woman. (weird thinking, imo). Seems like just another way to discard something because its not necessarily focused on making your wife more subservient to you.

My question: Why wouldnt you find it inspiring for someone in the grip of sin to overcome that sin in a very real and profound way? Why would any Christian distain that message?

A) What did you find real and profound about it about how Caleb overcame sin?

"Seems like just another way to discard something because its not necessarily focused on making your wife more subservient to you."

B) Tunnel Vision?

Are you submissive to the husband or is your Bible the erasable type?

Caleb was submissive to his ungodly, unlovely spouse. She didn't "deserve" for him to sell his boat or destroy his computer. As far as I'm concerned that was the real redeeming point of this film. He was being obedient to God and submissive to his spouse (submitting his desires, dreams and self), which was an excellent example of Godly leadership. are any of the women here willing to do the same for their ungodly, unlovely spouse? That is not the "vibe" I'm picking up.

Were you inspired by Caleb (to follow his selfless example) to submit to your ungodly, unlovely husband?

If so cool, the movie had some value and I was wrong.

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

dreamer1982 said:
That's exactly what I said.

Yes, I did read it. No, I'm not saying I'll never leave my spouse until one of us dies, no matter what. If you knew my testimony, you'd know that! Am I recommending that to other wives? Obviously not, if I don't abide by it myself. Ideally I would love my h and I to be together till we did. But I won't stay "no matter what." Nor do I expect him to. [FONT=&quot]

[/FONT]

Huh...unrealistic according to the world's expectations? Or God's? Because if Caleb's transformation is unrealistic than my h's transformation is out of this world! With God, ANYthing is possible...and I don't like the intense discouragement of ENcouragement and HOPE I'm seeing in this thread.

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

Nope, NEVER suggested anything of the sort. I'm not sure where you got that. Just because I said that I bought the book? I read it all right....and threw it aside LONG before I "did" Day 39. LOL

The funny thing is, I don't even "advocate" for this movie. I just don't think it's the man-bashing thing that so many of you seem to think it is.

So the truth outs. You didn't apply it to your life, you place the same value on it as I do.

The Apostle Paul had a "realistic conversion". Romans 7 and 8. We get delivered through SUFFERING.

And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
(Rom 8:17)

If the Kendricks ever delivered that message in a movie I might be convinced to go and see it.

JanniGirl · Jan 4, 2012

First off, I find it offensive to call someone "ungodly", even a sort of fictitious character in a movie. That's very hypocritical of you, I would think, unless you consider every human being "ungodly" and "unlovely"? Just wondering ....

hijklmnop · Jan 4, 2012

I Art Laughing said:
So the truth outs. You didn't apply it to your life, you place the same value on it as I do.

Wrong. I applied it for a little while until we had much bigger fish to fry than a daily to-do marriage fix-it list. I do NOT put the same "value" on it that you do. You have drawn negative conclusions about this movie that I don't share with you one bit.

I Art Laughing said:
The Apostle Paul had a "realistic conversion". Romans 7 and 8. We get delivered through SUFFERING.

And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
(Rom 8:17)

So now your objection is that Caleb didn't suffer enough pre-conversion to make his conversion realistic enough for your taste?

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

JanniGirl said:
First off, I find it offensive to call someone "ungodly", even a sort of fictitious character in a movie. That's very hypocritical of you, I would think, unless you consider every human being "ungodly" and "unlovely"? Just wondering ....

You asserted that I didn't ask any questions. Which is hilarious.

Now you're defending a fictional women who wasn't a believer and was having an emotional affair after serving her husband divorce papers after an argument as "Godly"? And guess what, without God all human beings are ungodly and unlovely, that is a classic definition

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
(Rom 8:5-8)

I think that tells me all I need to know.

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

dreamer1982 said:
Wrong. I applied it for a little while until we had much bigger fish to fry than a daily to-do marriage fix-it list. I do NOT put the same "value" on it that you do. You have drawn negative conclusions about this movie that I don't share with you one bit.

So now your objection is that Caleb didn't suffer enough pre-conversion to make his conversion realistic enough for your taste?

First, there is nothing "now" about it. I called this movie unrealistic from my first post. That is what makes it chick-porn.

Second, did he do anything right before his conversion? Did he do anything wrong after it??

Lastly, you have bigger fish to fry than submitting and committing to your husband? Okay.

JanniGirl · Jan 4, 2012

Yes. The world is NOT all about serving the HUSBAND. *gasp*

It's about serving GOD

JanniGirl · Jan 4, 2012

lol. This is almost too ridiculous to keep talking about .....

McScribe · Jan 4, 2012

Actually it's more that the issue is like that of Christmas movies. Nearly all Christmas movies are about Santa Claus or some related theme. To most people, that IS Christmas. To say "that's not really about Christmas" sounds insane to the average person. Furthermore you are likely to hear how many good messages about sharing, generosity, forgiveness and so on are in them. The problem is that they still aren't about the real Christmas. Santa Claus remains a symbol of commercialism. Doesn't matter how much we like them.

So look at Fireproof--part of the problem for a number of us is that we don't really like it as a movie, so it makes it easier to point fingers at. Yet the concern stands. It is not being said that Fireproof really is the leader in misandry or something, that's not what is being said. It is actually merely one of many uses of the theme of 'fix the man, fix the marriage'. Now just out of curiosity, how many movies are there that are the opposite--fix the woman, fix the marriage? Like if they exist, please name a bunch of them.

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

JanniGirl said:
Yes. The world is NOT all about serving the HUSBAND. *gasp*

It's about serving GOD

And you are married? What does God say? That your body is the worlds or your husbands?

I thought that was why women liked "Fireproof", because Caleb started to do everything to serve his wife. He was completely selfless and he won his wife to the Lord.

Are you suggesting JanniGirl that Caleb was naive? He should have realized that "the world was NOT all about serving the WIFE", right?

He could have signed the divorce and moved on with his life, she was selfish and having an emotional affair on the fast track to being the "other woman". Who'd want to "serve" that?" *gag

I Art Laughing · Jan 4, 2012

JanniGirl said:
lol. This is almost too ridiculous to keep talking about .....

Not a fan of the Socratic method I'm guessing.

hijklmnop · Jan 4, 2012

JanniGirl said:
lol. This is almost too ridiculous to keep talking about .....

That's pretty much where I'm at....

JaneFW · Jan 4, 2012

dreamer1982 said:
Honestly I think it's incredibly rude and presumptuous to put your hands on your hips online-style and DEMAND for 3 women to answer a question before we're allowed to say anything else.

Actually, you missed "hilarious" on that list.

His Wife · Jan 4, 2012

JanniGirl said:
Yes. The world is NOT all about serving the HUSBAND. *gasp*

It's about serving GOD

And does not God ask us to serve others? That serving the widows, the sick, the orphans and we are serving God, right? So does it not make sense that within a marriage we are to serve our spouse, and that is a way to serve God? In my opinion you can't serve God without serving others, and that includes our spouse.

JaneFW · Jan 4, 2012

Conservativation said:
Funny you ask for evidence, I even have written evidence of it in the form of cards and letters, not just hearing it, a lot.

If this pertains to your personal experience - which I won't talk about of course, because it's your personal experience - then I understand why it would be deeply offensive and infuriating that that happened. Of course I could be deeply off track. FTR, I have never encouraged someone to divorce or have an affair to "follow their heart", nor would I. I hate that stuff. It's like "I love you but I'm not in love with you." I would like to wipe that sentence from the face of the earth. Pathetic.

McScribe · Jan 4, 2012

JaneFW said:
Actually, you missed "hilarious" on that list.

It's a fair challenge. One which was not answered.

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