?this has me stumped?

[Lynn]

A long-time patient of mine just died. She was a sweet, courageous woman and a life-time practicing Catholic and so is her family.

BUT....she's having her funeral at a Baptist Church with a Baptist minister!

Now, I'm not saying that a Baptist funeral isn't a moving, loving tribute to both the deceased and to God. But I'm so confused. I can't figure out why she wouldn't have a Catholic funeral. I know she took a Bible study class at that Baptist Church, but she never said anything to me about leaving our Church. In fact, she used to bring me prayer cards.

I was just flabbergasted when I saw the obituary.

lynn

 

[Didymus]

maybe the family planned it or perhaps the priest was unavailable and the family went to the next place. Perhaps the priest will share in the service.

 

[Lynn]

well, maybe. but her parish has 3 priests, mine has 3, and the other 2 local parishes have 2 each. (yeah, I know....no priest shortage here!)


I just hope that this is what she wanted.

lynn

 

[Didymus]

I understand that feeling. our neighbor s brother died and had requested no funeral. The rest of his family agreed but this sister was furious and got her minister to do a memorial service for him. She was also mad at us because we didn t go. We didn t even know him and I felt she was out of line.
I was really hurt at my step-grandfathers funeral-Catholic-that I could not recieve communion because i am protestent. Grandpa s nephew --a priest--conducted the service and he wasn t happy with it either. He did ask me to do a reading from Job. I humbly must admit i am an excellent public reader. I guess the parish priest wasn t happy with that either but he didn t find out until it was too late.

 

[VOW]

To Lynn:

Your friend really has no say in the matters about her funeral. She may have left her wishes in writing, but ultimately, the person who signs the check at the mortuary is the one who makes the "final" plans.

This is a topic which causes great strife in some families. There are practically WARS not only over WHERE to have the funeral, but even the details of the clothes the deceased wears, the casket, and the cemetery.

Trust God. He knew her heart!



Peace be with you,
~VOW

 

[Didymus]

boy are you ever right about the wars. My cousin is a licensed undertaker in vermont. he also runs a cremitorium. He isn t a blabber but he reccomends everyone plan their funeral in advance and have a lawyer draw up some legal paper so the wishes must be honored. I dread when my dad dies because my mother will insist on a big church funeral and dad is an athiest. also he wnats to be burried near his parents and she wants him with her in another cemetary 10 miles away. good grief. i hope ai get vaporised so they don t drag me around.

 

[AngelAmidala]

I think the really hard part about families with different beliefs (even different Christian beliefs....like your patient being a Catholic and the family most likely being Baptist) is that when it comes time for a loved one of theirs to pass on...there's confusion on how the funeral service should be done.

If someone doesn't make their intents known to those who will be arranging the funeral, then the "wrong" things might be going on. I put wrong in quotations because it might be wrong to the deceased person but it's right to those planning.

My mom has already started to talk to my sister and I about how she would like her and my dad's arrangements to be done. Not because they're planning to die soon or that they'll both go together...but so we know what they both want, and in the case that one goes first and the other can't deal with the arrangements then my sister and I know what's desired.

Another thing that can be done, especially for those who are getting "up there" in age is to make arrangments now with a lawyer and the funeral home. My mom and my great-aunt (the power-of-attorney for my grandmother) have already done this. It's pretty depressing to think about planning someone's funeral even though they're alive. But we have in writing exactly what we want the funeral home to do...what church we want the funeral at...where she's to be buried....and we also know ahead of time the approximate costs. (Trust me...when you're dealing with so much over such a short amount of time...you do NOT want to be surprised by the bills. EEK!)

I guess this post was waaaay longer then intended...but I just wanted to share some of what I have experienced and what might've caused what happened to your patient.  It was not intended to be a sermon or tell things like they are.  It's all my opinion which I humbly share.

But I totally agree with VOW....God knew your patient's heart. And that's what matters most.

 

[Wolseley]

My mother was honored with a Catholic funeral and was buried in her home parish cemetary. Yours Truly filled in the grave with my own two lily-white paddies (working in the rain, no less!) while the family looked on.

My father, who was a generic non-denominational Christian, left specific instructions that he wanted immediate cremation and his ashes scattered in the Manistee National Forest. He got the cremation, after I went round and round with the undertaker, who first agreed to what Dad had wanted, then tried to tack on a bunch of needless extra procedures and charges. I finally told the guy he two choices: he could do exactly what I had told him to do and no more, for the price he had originally quoted, or I would come down and get the body myself and he could get nothing. (And I would have done it, too.)

As it turned out, there was a law against scattering ashes in a national forest, so Dad sat on the mantlepiece until Mom died, and we buried them together. His "funeral" consisted of a little 15-minute ceremony put on by his fellow vets in the Veterans of Foreign Wars, led by the Post chaplain, a rifle salute at the end, and a superb dinner afterwards.

 

[Caedmon]

Today at 05:47 PM Lynn said this in Post #3 (http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?postid=698061#post698061)

well, maybe. but her parish has 3 priests, mine has 3, and the other 2 local parishes have 2 each. (yeah, I know....no priest shortage here!)

Hey, send one over here. Our parish hasn't had a resident priest in 19 years.

 

[jukesk9]

Lynn,

My dad was Catholic and my mom was Methodist (She's now in RCIA!). When my Dad died in 1986, mom had a wake, last rites and the Rosary prayed but the funeral was in her old Methodist Church.

Humblejoe,

We have two priests for over 7,000 members at my parish. Hopefully by summer, we're getting three priests from Mexico City assigned to us.

 

[Lynn]

My father has Alzheimer's and has only a few weeks to live. He and my mom decided long ago that they want no services, just a cremation. Then they want their ashes interred with my brother's.
I will, of course, respect their wishes. BUt it will feel so empty to not have any services.
When I die, I want a Mass and graveside services. (and a big gravestone!)

as far as priests go, we are very lucky. We have enough priests, we have seminarians, and we are even more blessed than that. For some reason, our diocese must be a training ground for foreign priests who want to learn English. OUr parish has had at least 6 priests from South America over the last 10 years. Once they learn English, they have moved on to parishes throughout the state.

We have also had 2 wonderful priests from Tanzania. What great men!! It is so neat to have black priests in such a predominantly white area.
They loved giving my sons a hard time. We were at our Seder with them and one kept saying to Kevin...."I don't see this face in my church. WHY NOT????"

lynn

 

[Wolseley]

We had a seminarian (now a transitional deacon) in our parish for most of the last two years; he's from Nigeria, and he was a big fan of my son. (Taught him how to "give me five", which was pretty big stuff for an 18-month old. )

Isn't it amazing that more and more African and Latin American priests seem to keep showing up here all the time? They have more than they need at home, and since Americans don't want to be priests....(ahem), the pastors have got to come from somewhere.

I think it's neat.

 

[Lynn]

Dang it!! I had this all written and got bumped offline.

here it goes again......

I agree with you Wolseley. It is great to see so many priests from other countries. For so many years, the West has sent missionary priests, brothers, and sisters out to all parts of the world. Their hard work is sure paying off. I think we are very blessed to have these foreign priests coming to our country.

BTW, my patient's funeral was lovely. Her sisters gave a very moving tribute to her courage and her love. Not only her love of her family, but more importantly, her love of her Lord. I felt fortunate to be there.

lynn