this forum is often unkind

[Christownsme]

I am involved with several other forum sites, not necessarily Christian sites. In fact this is the only Christian site I get on. And compared to the other sites, it can be very unkind at times.

Other sites are calm, friendly and informative. You make a post, and if there's any criticism at all, it's done in a friendly way.

Getting on this site has proven to me that probably 1/2 the posters are bored, and want to either strike gold with a long thread, or vent their frustrations, or glow in the pride of their newly founded verse and their way of seeing things. Probably 1/2 the responders are all too legalistic and are eager to show their knowledge in being perfect with their answer, whether done gracefully or not.

Not saying that this is all you get here, but can't we do better as a body of believers of Jesus? Try kindness, grace, mercy, longsuffering and gentleness when you post and answer. Maybe those are just people trying to ruin the fellowship who are outside of the faith. We belong to Christ, and are called to be holy. We can do this, because all things are possible to those who are in Christ Jesus. Let's move beyond the old man and put on the new.

I don't know, but I just wanted to bring out this point.

 

[bsd31]

Sure it can seem unkind at times. Rebuke usually comes across like that. I doubt it's the heart of any member to hurt anyone's feelings when they post, but sometimes that's going to happen no matter how kind and gentle you want to be.

People get upset with me all the time. I'm blunt and too the point. It's a sign of respect for others to not coddle their feelings. I hope others would do the same for me.

Being in the fellowship of Christ means we confront our brothers and sisters in Christ with boldness. It does not mean we turn a blind eye to unsound doctrine, spiritual deception or any of the rest. That is not being kind that is being wicked. That is not esteeming another above yourself that is esteeming the devil.

 

[Psych]

I think he has a good point. And if this forum has more unkindness than other forums, that's not something to just overlook! I think at least a good part of it though is the sheer size of this forum; this isn't exactly a tightly-knit community here. That means to the average user, typing something up feels like putting something up there for the world to see, rather than feeling like talking to a group of people in a small living room. Which creates entirely different group dynamics. People feel more exposed and therefore get more defensive, for example. Even still, this is definitely something we all could probably improve on!

Being in the fellowship of Christ means we confront our brothers and sisters in Christ with boldness. It does not mean we turn a blind eye to unsound doctrine, spiritual deception or any of the rest. That is not being kind that is being wicked. That is not esteeming another above yourself that is esteeming the devil.

I had this really neat idea. What if instead of shooting down ideas that didn't automatically conform to our picture of the world, we could engage in actual open-minded discussion about any kind of issue. Begging the question loudly and forcefully is the intellectual equivalent to burning heretics at the stake. This doesn't mean we refrain from disagreeing with people, but rather, that we try to recognize their view and the rationale behind it as best we can and explain clearly, and understandingly, what makes that view incorrect.

 

[captainkate]

Yes, good idea.. speaking the truth in love.
We all need that reminder at times.

 

[thesunisout]

I am involved with several other forum sites, not necessarily Christian sites. In fact this is the only Christian site I get on. And compared to the other sites, it can be very unkind at times.

Other sites are calm, friendly and informative. You make a post, and if there's any criticism at all, it's done in a friendly way.

Getting on this site has proven to me that probably 1/2 the posters are bored, and want to either strike gold with a long thread, or vent their frustrations, or glow in the pride of their newly founded verse and their way of seeing things. Probably 1/2 the responders are all too legalistic and are eager to show their knowledge in being perfect with their answer, whether done gracefully or not.

Not saying that this is all you get here, but can't we do better as a body of believers of Jesus? Try kindness, grace, mercy, longsuffering and gentleness when you post and answer. Maybe those are just people trying to ruin the fellowship who are outside of the faith. We belong to Christ, and are called to be holy. We can do this, because all things are possible to those who are in Christ Jesus. Let's move beyond the old man and put on the new.

I don't know, but I just wanted to bring out this point.

One thing you have to remember is that we're in a spiritual battle, and our enemy comes to steal kill and destroy. There isn't anything we do that is too insignificant for the enemy to try and ruin it. I can guarantee you that he has a strategic plan to disrupt the fellowship here. As far as non-christian forums goes, the enemy doesn't care what you talk about as long as it isn't Jesus Christ. That's why you find a peace there you don't find here.

If more Christians were aware of this, and were obedient to the command that we should love one another, then it would be a whole different ballgame. As it stands we are completely disorganized and mostly insular. It's sadly a reflection of what the western church looks like as a whole.

 

[bsd31]

I had this really neat idea. What if instead of shooting down ideas that didn't automatically conform to our picture of the world, we could engage in actual open-minded discussion about any kind of issue. Begging the question loudly and forcefully is the intellectual equivalent to burning heretics at the stake. This doesn't mean we refrain from disagreeing with people, but rather, that we try to recognize their view and the rationale behind it as best we can and explain clearly, and understandingly, what makes that view incorrect.

That's nice and all but at some point you have to shoot down (or get shot down) to move the conversation forward. Agreeing to disagree is fine in theory but it doesn't help anyone grow.

 

[Christownsme]

I could only say these things because I have been that way before. I think it's important for you to know that. Not trying to hide anything here. I'm as bad as the next guy if I let myself steam.

 

[dengirl]

I am involved with several other forum sites, not necessarily Christian sites. In fact this is the only Christian site I get on. And compared to the other sites, it can be very unkind at times.

Other sites are calm, friendly and informative. You make a post, and if there's any criticism at all, it's done in a friendly way.

Getting on this site has proven to me that probably 1/2 the posters are bored, and want to either strike gold with a long thread, or vent their frustrations, or glow in the pride of their newly founded verse and their way of seeing things. Probably 1/2 the responders are all too legalistic and are eager to show their knowledge in being perfect with their answer, whether done gracefully or not.

Not saying that this is all you get here, but can't we do better as a body of believers of Jesus? Try kindness, grace, mercy, longsuffering and gentleness when you post and answer. Maybe those are just people trying to ruin the fellowship who are outside of the faith. We belong to Christ, and are called to be holy. We can do this, because all things are possible to those who are in Christ Jesus. Let's move beyond the old man and put on the new.

I don't know, but I just wanted to bring out this point.

I am noticing that. I am starting to believe maybe not everyone on the forums are really children of god as maybe they claim. Not all but definite a good few.

 

[singpeace]

As Christians, the way we communicate with others is extremely important. Our words can injure others, or they can heal. They can condemn, or they can be uplifting. They can be true and righteous, or they can be deceptive and false. The words we speak are a reflection of the condition of our faith and our walk with the Lord.

Kind and pleasant words can be very powerful, and can help heal any situation.



The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26)

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. (1 Peter 4:11)

The tongue has the power of life and death. (Proverbs 18:21)

But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:36-37)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.(Ecclesiastes 9:17)

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.(Proverbs 25:15)

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.(Proverbs 29:11)

 

[seeingeyes]

I am involved with several other forum sites, not necessarily Christian sites. In fact this is the only Christian site I get on. And compared to the other sites, it can be very unkind at times.

Other sites are calm, friendly and informative. You make a post, and if there's any criticism at all, it's done in a friendly way.

Getting on this site has proven to me that probably 1/2 the posters are bored, and want to either strike gold with a long thread, or vent their frustrations, or glow in the pride of their newly founded verse and their way of seeing things. Probably 1/2 the responders are all too legalistic and are eager to show their knowledge in being perfect with their answer, whether done gracefully or not.

Not saying that this is all you get here, but can't we do better as a body of believers of Jesus? Try kindness, grace, mercy, longsuffering and gentleness when you post and answer. Maybe those are just people trying to ruin the fellowship who are outside of the faith. We belong to Christ, and are called to be holy. We can do this, because all things are possible to those who are in Christ Jesus. Let's move beyond the old man and put on the new.

I don't know, but I just wanted to bring out this point.

It's a question of fear. If our closely held doctrines are the only access we have to the Living God and to His son Jesus Christ, then anyone who answers these doctrines with other, different doctrines is not simply 'disagreeing' or 'discussing', but is, in fact, threatening our very salvation with their arguments.

And when we are threatened, the claws come out.

So when you see a poster lashing out viciously against you or another member, please try to remember that the doctrine they are so vigorously defending (against all the agents of Satan or what-have-you) is all they have.

Show mercy. Bless those who curse you. Be perfect as your Father is perfect, brother.

 

[Norah63]

Thank you, Seeingeyes, that was a good thought. I have felt as though fear was in some way a part of some posts. As you say, we cling to what we have been taught or all that we know. If someone does ask a question about something outside of that area, it can come off as a threat or unkind. Sorry if I have ever done that to others. It's just part of the tricky part of being where many diffrent folks post.

 

[Jack East]

Many Christians are self appointed judges of the theology of others posted on this site. Many think that is their God given duty to correct the beliefs of others to conform with their own beliefs. Others are so insecure in their own faith they cannot accept other beliefs.

When God created man (and woman), he created us in his image and gave us the ability to make choices. Jesus warned us to not judge others so that we not be judged. I am a Presbyterian and our church allows us to freely choose how we define our faith. The freedom to choose is great, but it is also a huge responsibility. Hold firm to your beliefs and be your own judge to assure that your beliefs are in conformance with scripture.

More christians need to spend less time judging the beliefs of others and more time affirming others beliefs.

My apologies for the harsh judgment of fellow Christians. They will be judged in their own time by the same God who said judge not that ye be not judged.

Not a judge.

Jack East

 

[thesunisout]

Many Christians are self appointed judges of the theology of others posted on this site. Many think that is their God given duty to correct the beliefs of others to conform with their own beliefs. Others are so insecure in their own faith they cannot accept other beliefs.

When God created man (and woman), he created us in his image and gave us the ability to make choices. Jesus warned us to not judge others so that we not be judged. I am a Presbyterian and our church allows us to freely choose how we define our faith. The freedom to choose is great, but it is also a huge responsibility. Hold firm to your beliefs and be your own judge to assure that your beliefs are in conformance with scripture.

More christians need to spend less time judging the beliefs of others and more time affirming others beliefs.

My apologies for the harsh judgment of fellow Christians. They will be judged in their own time by the same God who said judge not that ye be not judged.

Not a judge.

Jack East

What does judge not that ye be not judged mean to you? How do you contrast it with 1 Corinthians 2:15?

 

[Norah63]

If discernment , was used more often than judge, it would seem better.
A christian should learn about discernment.
Yet judgement is a sentence that is passed.
Very different words and meanings.

 

[Sun2]

I quit this forum for 7 years because I found some members were too arrogant and others with mob mentality/mockers.

I hope things are better now.

Biggest lesson this forum taught me was 'You shall not discuss religion over the internet' because everyone is a star on the internet and everyone knows everything.

 

[Sun2]

Also I do not like the Blessings being rated .. I don't know how would anyone rate my blessing which are from above. That's so _______.

 

[dysert]

Whatever the reasons/excuses, to be seen as an unkind or critical forum doesn't speak well of us believers in here. I remind everyone (myself included) of John 13:35 --> "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

 

[captainkate]

Also I do not like the Blessings being rated .. I don't know how would anyone rate my blessing which are from above. That's so _______.

You can turn off the reps..I did.

 

[TRUEPeace]

I only been using these forums for a month or so and found it the BEST,most friendly group of people on any Internet forum so far, I have used forums for games/occult/martial arts/Islam/insert a religion here/ etc and this one has the nicest bunch of people in my opinion.

You want to see horror? Just start posting comments on YouTube :/

 

[SharonL]

You are right - legalism in people's beliefs causes a lot of the hits - not realizing how cold the keys on your computer can be is another and we have a lot of people that come on here just to cause problems. I use to fire back at them, but the forum has taught me some patience. Ignoring them works best - it takes the air out of their balloon.

P.S. if you think the threads are bad here - better stay out of the Political forum - it gets vicious. That one has really taught me a lot of patience.