this dont belong here but I NEED URGENT HELP

[happily_saved]

I know this dont belong here but there is the most pplz here n i need a reply...

I Need So Much Help Right Now!!! I dont know what to do. Plain and short, I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months, hes 16, im 17, but we are both so very much in love and have a great relationship with Christ. He's havin so many problems at home! His mom is controlling his life. It's been going on for 4 months on and off n happened be4 in his past. But his whole life he's feared her cuz she threatens to kick him out and to ground him. A few weeks ago shes grounded him for fighting with his brother, and then ended up buyin him pizza while he was grounded. Last week she threatened to kick him out and he wasnt aloud home from 7 in the morn to 11 at night. then thursday came n she said she was gonna talk to him n she wants him home and she wants to tell him wuts happenin but then said she was too stressed n waited till saturday. it keeps goin from extreme to extreme. Josh has done Nothing at all. he goes home, treats his parents with utmost respect, cleans the house till its spotless. And he is not aloud to talk to me or to see me. that is not fair to me. i love her son. i play a big part in this weither she sees it or not. i have been going through alot of depression, n this is really messing me up. i dont wanna leave him cuz its not his fault. yesterday afternoon i called n they just got a new kitten n she lemme talk to him, but almost right away he let me go so he could go see wut she wanted to talk to him bout. i call back n ask for him n she said he's unavailable, n i asked if i could call bak later and she said maybe, so i do and she says hes grounded he cant talk to me or see me permanently! his mother is very jealous of our relationship together. i dont know what to do! i cant take this anymore! i love him so much n want this to work. what can he do? i pray so hard n try to have faith but its hard!

Ps: im not sure weither i should talk to her and tell her how im feeling. tell her how this is affecting me and how i wanted a friendship with her at the start. my mom said someone needs to make the path for others to follow in. so if i talk n im not afraid of his mom then josh will follow n tell his mom how he feels as well. should i do this? i called her last night n she said "i dont have time for this, im not in the mood, call bak tomorrow"

Danielle

 

[Blindfaith]

happily,


I'm not really qualified to give any type of counseling advice, but I can speak from a mothers point of view and also from the point of view of one who had an incredibly controlling mother as well.

As far as her wanting to talk to her son and then not having time, I can kind of understand that because there are times when I need to talk to my teens, but something comes up and I have to put it on the backburner for a bit. I try my best not to do this though, because it's important to discuss things right away if it can helped.

It really sounds to me like she's having a very difficult time in "letting go" of her son. It's almost like she's subconsciously pushing him away by threatening to kick him out, but grounding him to keep him in the nest. It may be that she has other issues going on in her life to make her act this extreme - I don't know.

Instead of you talking with her, do you think your mom would? It would be more difficult for her to disrespect your mother rather than you.

I know this is a touchy subject - I remember (way back when) having those strong feelings for someone at that age, and patience isn't easy. But my dear, patience may be what you have to practice in this case until she gets a grip.

Do you see him in school at all?

I have to run and get ready for church, but I'll come back to this thread hon so we can talk more.

Take care and God bless you