Thinking of converting

Quid · Oct 27, 2009

I was raised southern baptist and became very disenchanted with xtianity in general around the age of 18.

I have been atheist for the last 4 or five years and now I think Im getting my religion back. After doing some research I feel that eastern orthodox is the way for me.

However, I know nothing about how a liturgy is conducted, how communion is handled, or how to approach my soon-to-be priest with my many questions.

Any advice?

Dorothea · Oct 27, 2009

Welcome, Quid.

I'm glad to see that you have been researching and getting your religion/faith back. That's a good start. I would just go to a Divine Liturgy and observe and then speak to the priest honestly about what you want to know. I'm sure others here can give you better advice.

Quid · Oct 27, 2009

Dorothea said:
Welcome, Quid.

I'm glad to see that you have been researching and getting your religion/faith back. That's a good start. I would just go to a Divine Liturgy and observe and then speak to the priest honestly about what you want to know. I'm sure others here can give you better advice.

Strangely enough Im more worried about sticking out than anything. Ive been alienated before in religion and Im worried it will happen again.

Knee V · Oct 27, 2009

I'd suggest going to www.scoba.us and finding the closest Orthodox parish near you. Their (that particular parish) website ought to have an email for contacting the priest. Send him an email introducing yourself and basically explaining your situation. That ought to break the ice. That's more or less what I did 4 1/2 years ago, although I didn't know what SCOBA was, so I just googled Orthodox churches in my area and found one.

Where, might I ask, are you located?

Quid · Oct 27, 2009

knee-v said:
Where, might I ask, are you located?

Gastonia NC. Ive actually decided on a particular parish, Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte NC. It was were my local greek festival was held.

Actually, this festival was the first time I started thinking about god again. Needless to say I was to shy to ask about anything there.

Knee V · Oct 27, 2009

Quid said:
Gastonia NC. Ive actually decided on a particular parish, Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte NC. It was were my local greek festival was held.

Actually, this festival was the first time I started thinking about god again. Needless to say I was to shy to ask about anything there.

Very cool!

HandmaidenOfGod · Oct 27, 2009

Hi Quid!

First, welcome to TAW and thank you for your question!

If you haven't already, and you're in the US, you can find an Orthodox Church near you by going to Orthodoxy in America - Home and typing in your zip code.

From there I would call the priest and just explain your situation just as you did here on the forum. Despite the fancy vestments, priests are usually very approachable, down-to-earth people who are happy to answer questions from inquirers.

To learn more about Orthodoxy, check out the thread "For Those New to Orthodoxy" for some great resources and tips.

Keep in mind when you decide to attend your first Orthodox service that you are not obligated to do anything but sit/stand respectfully during the service. If you want to light a candle and say a prayer, you can. If you want to cross yourself, you can. But don't feel obligated to if you're not comfortable with it just yet. Sometimes the best thing to do during your first few services is to just sort of try to take in as much as you can.

Don't be offended if no one speaks to you during Liturgy; Orthodox don't chat during service. If there is coffee hour after Liturgy on Sunday feel free to attend and introduce yourself to people.

Some parishes may have pews; some may not. Don't be surprised by this.

Communion is soley reserved for those who have been baptized and chrismated in the Orthodox Church, and have followed the prayers and fasting observations as directed by their Spiritual Father. So please do not go up for communion until after you have been received into the Church.

Feel free to ask as many questions you may have.

Once again, welcome to the forum, and I hope I've been a help to you.

In XC,

Maureen

HandmaidenOfGod · Oct 27, 2009

Quid said:
Gastonia NC. Ive actually decided on a particular parish, Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte NC. It was were my local greek festival was held.

Actually, this festival was the first time I started thinking about god again. Needless to say I was to shy to ask about anything there.

Oh I've heard good things about that parish! Bravo!

Quid · Oct 27, 2009

knee-v said:
Very cool!

So, I should e-mail that particular priest and just give him the basic run down?

cobweb · Oct 27, 2009

If you are in the USA:

Orthodoxy in America - Home

That seems to be the easiest way to locate a parish.

Melania Rose · Oct 27, 2009

A meeting with the priest first is a good thing. That is the way it was recommended to me, and glad I did. It really helped to "break the ice," so to speak.

Knee V · Oct 27, 2009

Quid said:
So, I should e-mail that particular priest and just give him the basic run down?

That's not any kind of obligatory etiquette, but it may prove to be very helpful. It worked for me when I first started attending, and it did a nice job of breaking the ice, especially when I went to the Liturgy for the first time. The priest was expecting me, and we had some stuff to talk about right off the bat.

Quid · Oct 27, 2009

HandmaidenOfGod said:
Hi Quid!

Feel free to ask as many questions you may have.

Once again, welcome to the forum, and I hope I've been a help to you.

In XC,

Maureen

Oh yes, very much so. Thank you.

Bessie · Oct 27, 2009

Hi Quid,

FYI, you probably will feel that you are sticking out no matter what you do. Just keep in mind that the truth is, you aren't.

The first time I ever stumbled into an Orthodox Parish I was highly naive about the whole thing. At the time I wasn't interested in converting, I just wanted to see what those guys did. Nobody spoke any English. There were no pews. The service went on for three hours. Once when I tried to ask a question I was shushed harshly. I was 16 years old. It was scary for me and honestly freaked me out so badly I didn't go back even after I converted to Catholicism, until it was my last possible option for me.

By then, I had a better idea of things liturgical so it wasn't as scary, but I still felt uncomfortable with any kind of participation, etc. I felt like I totally stuck out and it was almost a phobia. Then, my priest told me something helpful.

He said, "Nobody is looking at you, nobody cares if you do it right or wrong. We can't even agree on the right way to do things between traditions anyway. Some people make several small crosses, some people make one large one. Some cross at different times. Some people venerate icons on the way to communion, some don't. Some people cross their arms, some don't. You can't possibly do it wrong if your heart is in the right place, so stop worrying about what others might think."

I don't know if it's helpful to your or not, but take heart. You are by no means the first person who has felt that fear!

Quid · Oct 27, 2009

Bessie said:
Hi Quid,

FYI, you probably will feel that you are sticking out no matter what you do. Just keep in mind that the truth is, you aren't.

The first time I ever stumbled into an Orthodox Parish I was highly naive about the whole thing. At the time I wasn't interested in converting, I just wanted to see what those guys did. Nobody spoke any English. There were no pews. The service went on for three hours. Once when I tried to ask a question I was shushed harshly. I was 16 years old. It was scary for me and honestly freaked me out so badly I didn't go back even after I converted to Catholicism, until it was my last possible option for me.

By then, I had a better idea of things liturgical so it wasn't as scary, but I still felt uncomfortable with any kind of participation, etc. I felt like I totally stuck out and it was almost a phobia. Then, my priest told me something helpful.

He said, "Nobody is looking at you, nobody cares if you do it right or wrong. We can't even agree on the right way to do things between traditions anyway. Some people make several small crosses, some people make one large one. Some cross at different times. Some people venerate icons on the way to communion, some don't. Some people cross their arms, some don't. You can't possibly do it wrong if your heart is in the right place, so stop worrying about what others might think.

I don't know if it's helpful to your or not, but take heart. You are by no means the first person who has felt that fear!

Yes, thank you. I'll eventually get it Im sure.

E.C. · Oct 27, 2009

Welcome to TAW!

I know a bit what you mean, Quid. I was raised Roman Catholic, became a closet Atheist for a while, reverted to Catholicism and eventually landed into Orthodoxy.

If/when you go for Liturgy, don't worry about trying to participate or sticking out. At my parish we have people who are as tall as 6'11"-ish and very small children as well. Within all that there are those that like to venerate this icon when they come in or all and those who simply venerate the central icon.

Just go and absorb it like your mind and soul are sponges. Do not worry about Communion. In some parishes, it is customary for those partaking of Communion to take some blessed bread to those not partaking, so don't be surprised if you end up with a pile of it!

vanshan · Oct 27, 2009

Also don't be discouraged. If the service is in Greek, you may want to seek out an English speaking parish, to help absorb more of what you're observing. There are a few prominient Southern Baptist converts to Orthodoxy, like Clark Carlton, who's writings you may want to seek out to see how they moved from the Baptist faith to Orthodoxy, although I know you've already rejected your former faith, there may still be some vestiges of misinformation rattling around in your head that someone from a similar background might be able to help you work through.

Basil

27B6 · Oct 27, 2009

Quid,

Welcome to TAW!

I'm a bit shy myself in new groups, and generally prefer to stand towards the back and just observe and absorb until I feel comfortable -- basically I like to "ease in" to new social settings. Orthodox in worship-mode are generally very active, what with crossing themselves, bowing, standing, sitting, lighting candles, attending to the children, and so forth. People really don't pay much attention to what others are doing (especially not in any sort of judgmental way), but try to be very attentive to the service itself. Everyone understands that Orthodox worship is complicated and mystifying to those inquiring into the faith, and converts especially "get it" in this regard. So basically, you should expect to see a lot of "orderly chaos" and no one paying much attention to you during the service. No one expects inquirers to participate actively, just to observe. After the service, people will be interested in getting to know you, especially in a smaller parish, but then it's just normal socializing over coffee.

I do recommend introducing yourself to the priest by email or phone so he knows you are coming. If you can attend a Saturday Great Vespers service, those are really great for first-timers because it's a simpler service, very beautiful, and smaller crowd. And after this service the priest usually has time to devote to newbies. But any service is really fine as a point of entry. Just relax, observe, and don't worry about sticking out.

laconicstudent · Oct 27, 2009

Hi Quid,

I just thought I'd let you know I'm in roughly the same situation. Raised strictly conservative Baptist, became disillusioned and now I'm looking into the Orthodox Church after a few years of being rather dissipated in my faith.

ArmyMatt · Oct 27, 2009

hey Quid, for starters, welcome to TAW!

I would agree with what everyone else said here earlier. contact the closest Orthodox Church's priest and give him the low down on your questions. when you feel comfortable enough, get to a Divine Liturgy and experience the worship. after your first Liturgy I would also recommend hanging out afterwards to talk to the parishioners and especially the priest when it's all done.

keep us posted on your journey!

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