- Aug 31, 2008
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ok in 05 I went thru a drug induced psychosis. When my mind left me I was in jail not even knowing how to use the phone.
I thought a Great War was going on outside the walls.
That In the jail if you didn’t receive the Mark of the beast you where sent to the third floor to be tortured until you did or chopped up.
This went on for about two months until I got beat up and finally called to get out of there.
I was psychotic for another six months until I started to come to but I didn’t take seriously what was going on with me so I started back on the drugs again.
A year went by until May of 06 I started to slip back into it. This huge conviction was felt as my fear I was going to get left behind again. I gave my life to Christ.
For the first time in my life I had this supernatural power to resist temptation. I stopped all drug use. I was delusional in the sense that I thought God chose me to be the next Billy Graham. And that He was bringing me and my ex back together.
From May of 06-08 I preached with all boldness. In 08 I finally decided that I was sick. Got on risperdal and the little whispers started to go away. I had to rethink not to believe any delusions. In the summer of 08 I was hit with a lot of Pure O OCD. My stress levels where to the max. In 2010 I got on klonopin and from then to 2017 I was ok. I kinda lost my faith tho. In 2018 I was ok after successfully weaning off the klonopin.
In October i bought a chemical that is like a benzo off the internet. I used it but when I threw it away I started to go thru the obsessions that I was dead and standing before God. I thought I was feeling something tell me to throw my meds away.i did. Also at that time I was detoxing off high doses of Kratom. I was up for three weeks straight. I was very delusional. I thought I was already in heaven.
That this house I am living at was what I got in heaven. I couldn’t watch TV without thinking delusional. I thought Hod was at every concert telling me He loves me. I went into the psych ward and got back on Zyrexa. Today I can say I no longer believe I’m in heaven. But I can’t stop thinking either God or Satan is talking to me through the TV.
I watched Paul Apostle of Christ and I keep thinking that the Actor who play Jesus is actually Jesus and that He’s secretly gathering His saints before what the great tribulation begins.
Now I believe all of the Bible to be true so you can understand that someone who is sick like me can be feeling.
I have pictures that go thru my head. I wake up everyday w headaches. I keep feeling that I wasn’t ready. That I’m going to be left behind. Now from my interpretation from the Bible there is no raptur. That we will be apart of the tribulation saints.
I keep getting flashes of lights in my eyes.
Now look folks. I don’t know if buying what I did caused all of this or me flushing down my meds.
But you can imagine how scared I feel if we have to go thru the tribulation.
I thought a Great War was going on outside the walls.
That In the jail if you didn’t receive the Mark of the beast you where sent to the third floor to be tortured until you did or chopped up.
This went on for about two months until I got beat up and finally called to get out of there.
I was psychotic for another six months until I started to come to but I didn’t take seriously what was going on with me so I started back on the drugs again.
A year went by until May of 06 I started to slip back into it. This huge conviction was felt as my fear I was going to get left behind again. I gave my life to Christ.
For the first time in my life I had this supernatural power to resist temptation. I stopped all drug use. I was delusional in the sense that I thought God chose me to be the next Billy Graham. And that He was bringing me and my ex back together.
From May of 06-08 I preached with all boldness. In 08 I finally decided that I was sick. Got on risperdal and the little whispers started to go away. I had to rethink not to believe any delusions. In the summer of 08 I was hit with a lot of Pure O OCD. My stress levels where to the max. In 2010 I got on klonopin and from then to 2017 I was ok. I kinda lost my faith tho. In 2018 I was ok after successfully weaning off the klonopin.
In October i bought a chemical that is like a benzo off the internet. I used it but when I threw it away I started to go thru the obsessions that I was dead and standing before God. I thought I was feeling something tell me to throw my meds away.i did. Also at that time I was detoxing off high doses of Kratom. I was up for three weeks straight. I was very delusional. I thought I was already in heaven.
That this house I am living at was what I got in heaven. I couldn’t watch TV without thinking delusional. I thought Hod was at every concert telling me He loves me. I went into the psych ward and got back on Zyrexa. Today I can say I no longer believe I’m in heaven. But I can’t stop thinking either God or Satan is talking to me through the TV.
I watched Paul Apostle of Christ and I keep thinking that the Actor who play Jesus is actually Jesus and that He’s secretly gathering His saints before what the great tribulation begins.
Now I believe all of the Bible to be true so you can understand that someone who is sick like me can be feeling.
I have pictures that go thru my head. I wake up everyday w headaches. I keep feeling that I wasn’t ready. That I’m going to be left behind. Now from my interpretation from the Bible there is no raptur. That we will be apart of the tribulation saints.
I keep getting flashes of lights in my eyes.
Now look folks. I don’t know if buying what I did caused all of this or me flushing down my meds.
But you can imagine how scared I feel if we have to go thru the tribulation.