Things you never want to hear

[ZiSunka]

"You know, I thought I'd never get my hack license back after that fatal accident I caused last year."

Butcher

 

[lucypevensie]

Bummer, my hairpin fell into the meat grinder. Oh well, someone will find it, I'm sure.


landscape artist

 

[ZiSunka]

"Okay, I need that 80 foot tall tree moved six inches to the left." (Landscape architect's standard joke.)

Heart surgeon

 

[aaron]

"What's that part called again?"

Veterinarian

 

[4jc]

Oh, don't worry, you can just buy another cat, they are cheap.

 

[aaron]

4jc forgot the next person so I will just through one in:
military officer

 

[Dewjunkie]

"O.K., men, our mission is simple. We run really fast over to 'Orange Beach', or wait, was it 'Red Beach'? Anyway, when we get there, we'll flank left....or wait, left on Orange, right on Red? Or vice versa? Oh, nevermind, it's marktime! GO GO GO GO!"

 

[aaron]

You forgot the next person. Don't forget that.

Here is another one:   Principal

 

[big_ogre2004]

I have to sit and evaluate more classes !?!

Podiatrist

 

[lucypevensie]

Peeeewwww! Stinkies!

librarian

 

[aaron]

"You know that book you just returned, well it was one year late. You owe $?00.00."

Webmaster

 

[waterwizard]

Webmaster:  Lessee, here, cut and paste, hmmm......where'd all these little squiggly thingies come from?  Is "fatal error" bad?

Co-worker

 

[reeann]

I ask the boss to give me your job

Mother

 

[ZiSunka]

"The DNA tests came back--I'm not your biological mother."

Landlord

 

[waterwizard]

Landlord:  Hey, did you see the article in the paper that says they're gonna build a new super highway around here?  And guess where they want to build it?  (I'm in the money.....)

Church music director

 

[MommyG3]

Okay, now let's sing that new song from Marylin Manson.

Air Plane Pilot

 

[waterwizard]

Airplane Pilot:  Hello, this is your captain.  We're cruising at an altitude of 30,000 fee--------WATCH OUT!!!!AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Horse trainer

 

[Gerry]

Originally posted by lambslove
"The DNA tests came back--I'm not your biological mother."

Landlord

lololololololololololololol

 

[lucypevensie]

I hope your horse doesn't hate me like the last 10 horses did.


Romance novelist

 

[coastie]

Romance Novelist: "Experience? Well, I used to write all kinds of stories for my cell mate."

Starbucks worker