The words of the Lord are definitely ringing true for me today... :(

[Sword of the Lord]

...with my brother. He wants me to come up to Chicago today to hang out with him, but I can't because we finally have our new pastor. He came from Oklahoma and the Installation Service with Holy Communion and fellowship dinner afterwards starts at 3. He became furious and mocked God, my faith, and said that if I choose this over seeing him today, then he will cut me off -- the decision is mine. I told him I have to choose God first and that this isn't an ordinary service, but he said I was acting like ISIS was twisting my arm. He doesn't care about the significance and his threats to cut me off aren't a joke, as I know him well.

Not Peace, but a Sword
34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

 

[Fish and Bread]

Did you offer to drive up tomorrow or whenever the next time you are free from other obligations is? If he proposed this a few days ago, did you offer to drive up yesterday?

I am going to shockingly agree with you here and say that I don't think your brother has the right to demand you visit him on a specific day and time. I think you have the right to refuse to go for whatever reason you want to, or for no reason whatsoever. He is not the boss of you.

However, in the interests of good family relations, and because it sounds like your relationship with your brother is important to you, it might be worthwhile to see if something else can be planned. Are you guys night owls? Could you drive up after the services and watch Sunday Night Baseball and hang or something? What about just going to the installation service, skipping the fellowship dinner, and then hanging out with your brother? I'm just giving you potential options, obviously these are just *options*, not things you have to do or should be expected to do.

Religion can be a tough subject for families when they disagree. Maybe it would be best for you and your brother to simply agree to disagree and you could avoid mentioning your religion around him and he could avoid being hostile to religion or talking about his agnosticism or atheism around you. It doesn't sound like you guys are going to be able to chat about it in a way that doesn't cause big problems anytime soon.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Let him have his histrionics. You cannot give in to emotional blackmail. He is angry at agod and himself . He
Will get over it.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

I offered to go yesterday but he had different plans. I told him that I'd see about today because I thought the Installation was at 11 but the bulletin this morning says 3. Since I live a little over an hour and a half away, making for over 3 hours round trip, that's significant. I can't go this evening or tonight because tomorrow being Monday my wife leaves for work at 5 in the morning and I have the kids. My faith is a sour subject for him for multiple reasons, especially because he's gay and I won't go to this wedding. He was married once and I didn't go, and now he might get married again and I still won't go. Most in OBOB know my story and I won't go through it again, but I am respectful of his relationship, talk to his boyfriend, don't mention my faith and how those gays are doomed as many do, etc. I only draw the line at supporting gay marriage. And now he gets mad any time my faith gets in what he perceives to be his way. He told me to just record the service tonight and if I feel I need to eat bread and drink wine there's plenty of churches up there. He just doesn't get it and doesn't care to. He ended by saying the next time I feel like I need to talk, to just talk to my God and stay out of his life. All because I won't skip the most important service of the year other than Easter and Christmas.

 

[Tigg]

You have my sympathies and my admiration. It tisn't easy to stand by your faith when your relationship with a family member is threated and will cease to exist. Stick with your God and faith. And do what you have to do.
My bro did what your bro is threatening. You are becoming a Catholic, I want nothing to do with you. For 10 years he didn't either. Then he came around and apologized.
You are in my prayers as is your bro. God bless you much.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Pictures of the Installation and our new pastor.