The venting about men thread!!!

[Melbelle]

Hi, this is a club to vent about your husband/boyfriend, may it be what I have a problem with about my husband is Porn or may it be something else, lets see if we can maybe have people who have been through things and can help us to either understand why, or understand how to deal with this.

 

[Spidey76]

If I may, let me vent against myself. I sometimes would get into fits of rage for no reason. I had no idea WHY I was so mad and it made me madder that I could not stop. I would get into shouting matches with my wife and would easily be frusterated by my young children (4 and 18 months). Increased stress at work over the past year and returning to college made things worse. They did not deserve that abusive treatment one bit at all.

It wasn't until recently, after a long talk with my pastor that I dug into my past and confronted some sexual abuse issues and disfunctional childhoood issues. I have never told anyone about those until recently and have always kept my emotions bottled up until it was too late. Since the talk I have prayed for God to reveal to me and release me from things that I can't remember and from things that I don't want to remember. My wife has noticed the change. I just told her about the sexual abuse tonight. She had no idea and I had no idea that it had affected me that much.

As I continue to pray, I am ever thankful that my marriage was not ruined in the process and that the healing has begun. She is a very strong willed person and I owe my current state of Christianity to her pushing me to get back into church and fellowship.

God bless my wife for her strength and God bless all you ladies for all you put up with from us.

PS: the remote is still mine - it's football season!

 

[caitlincares]

My vent is men NOT sharing with their loved ones.

I think men think they have to be strong for us that they do not always share.

I have a friend I have known for 20 years, we had dated almost exclusively the last 15 years.
I broke off the engagement this past June when I realized even after all this time I could not be sure of where his head was.
I had given him no reason to not trust me and my love for him.

I had been there for him thru SO much.
I helped him dealing with the abuse he had suffered as a child which included
sexual abuse by two males one a relative, physical abuse by his father, and emotional abuse by his mother.

I always wonder now if someone does not open up is it because they have some abuse in their past whether they know it or not.

One of the last things that made me break it off was I was uncomfortable with him talking about sexual things.
He knew that BUT yet continued to do it. It appeared intentional.
Maybe he did not want to truly depend on anyone ever again because they always HURT him.

 

[Melbelle]

Uggg I'm just so mad, My husband and I once again got in a fight, (I know we fight alot) I just got through giveing my son a bath and he is sitting on the computer then I ask him to come and get seth so I don't drop him when picking him up out of the tub, he is like ok hunny just a min (No big deal) ok now its feeding time, I make Seths bottel, his food, and get him dressed, (Coby is on the computer) I have baby in one arm, bottel in one hand, and baby food in the other hand, I ask Coby will you pull his chair over here before I drop something Please, "Ok hunny just a min." (No biggy) waiting, waiting, Ok Coby I need his chair I'm about to drop him, he said "OK" at this point I'm starting to get angry. he pulls his chair over to me and walks back to the computer. I say (Sarcaticly) Oh thanks for the help. He says "What I do." I'm like "Ummm tell me how am I suppose to put him in the chair and put the food down at the same time" he says "Oh I'm sorry." (no biggy.) so then he desides to open the tray to his chair and I forgot to clean it out from lunch, he says "now Melissa, why can't you remeber to clean out his chair." (I'm flameing now.) Calmly I say "I'm sorry it slipt my mind." He said "You know if the lady from CPS comes over here and sees this we will get him takeing away." (I had PPD and CPS came over to check up to see how things where going long story.) I was like " hunny I'm so sorry I just have so much on my mind, it was a inacent mistake." He just started hollering at me, everytime I started to say something he would interruped me (major pet peve I hate being interrupted.) Then he threw in "My mother wouldn't have forgotten." At this time I was so fired up I didn't care what I said, so I said "Well excuse me I'm not your mother, I will never be you mother, if you want your mommy so bad pack up and go live with her." Oh did I touch a nerve lol. He was fired up. He goes "Melissa I don't ask much of you." [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]!! I said "Coby, I'm going back to school, keeping up this house, takeing care of you, trying to keep Seth happy, but when he is fussing and I don't know what is wrong cus he can't tell me and he falls and hit his head, and all this stuff I get stressed out too you know, my mind isn't always on this house, I just want a few mins to my self but do I get it NO why not, cus my poor husband wants to come home from work and sit at the computer, do I ever get a day off, NO Why? cus If I'm not in school then I"m studieing, if I"m not studieing I'm tending to the house, if I"m not doing that I'm listing to you tell me how I'm not like your mom, Thats right I'm not like your mom cus I'm not your mom, get use to it and get over it or go and live with her, oh and lets not forget I'm being mommy and daddy to Seth because your either working or on the computer trying to figure out the stupid poser program, if I knew it would have caused this much troubel I would have told you not to get it." Uggg I'm so mad I just want to crawl in a corner and cry, my son keeps wakeing up and I can't go to bed cus every time I go and lay down he wakes up. I have had only 3hrs of sleep and I have to go to school tonight, ugggg I'm thinking about just not going and calling my mom from well I don't know the office at our appartment if the mean lady who took it over will let me. I NEED A VACATION UGGGGGGGG