The thoughts are back :(

[HopingForJesus]

I have been having the bad blasphemous thoughts and they are back and now I am obessing and worrying about going to Hell and not being forgiven. What if I am just going through the motions but I am inherently evil? I don't want to burn in hell. I want to be normal and be able to love God like I am supposed to.

 

[kaykay9.0]

This just sounds very much like typical religious OCD to me. OCD battles tend to repeat themselves...or morph into different OCD obsessions. That's why it's so important to fight the root (OCD), not the fruit (intrusive, unwanted thoughts and other symptoms) so to speak. If you haven't, I would encourage you to get some professional help for the OCD. That's not generally a panancea but it can oftne get you to a place where your battles are a lot more minimal and less frequent.

Also, the less importance you assign to unwanted, intrusive blasphemous thoughts, the more quickly they will cease. I know that's tough, but it really works.

 

[HopingForJesus]

Hi KayKay. Thank you for your response. I have been sick the last few days with an infection and when I get run down my OCD gets even worse. I am seeing a psychiatrist, but cannot get therapy at this time because of the distance and gas expense. It started over obsessing over the unpardonable sin again, then looking up videos on youtube, and this one particular set of videos kinda has me back in that frame of mind that because I spoke against the Holy Spirit in my mind that I am condemned and that blasphemy is truly speaking out against something and why would Jesus lie? Stupid brain! Anyways, thank you for being there. I just want to be safe if that makes any sense.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hi KayKay. Thank you for your response. I have been sick the last few days with an infection and when I get run down my OCD gets even worse. I am seeing a psychiatrist, but cannot get therapy at this time because of the distance and gas expense. It started over obsessing over the unpardonable sin again, then looking up videos on youtube, and this one particular set of videos kinda has me back in that frame of mind that because I spoke against the Holy Spirit in my mind that I am condemned and that blasphemy is truly speaking out against something and why would Jesus lie? Stupid brain! Anyways, thank you for being there. I just want to be safe if that makes any sense.

Yep, I been there done that. Something sets you off and then sometimes you go looking for reassurance. Sometimes you find something then that not only doesn't help, but makes the problem worse and hurts you! My husband has warned me repeatedly about that but I keep seeming to fall into that trap. I used to have a problem about blaspheming the Holy Spirit but I began to get victory over THAT specific OCD trap when I began to believe at deep levels that whatever that sin is about, it is NOT something you can fall into accidentally in some innocuous way when you don't want to. Any type of thoughts can run through our mind, but that doesn't mean we're in agreement with them. Maybe this seems simplistic, but at the end of the day, I just began to really understand and believe the old rule of thumb that truly if you are worried about it, you haven't done it. ( The more I dwelled on it and obsessed and RESEARCHED itthe worse the fear became though.)

 

[HopingForJesus]

Yep Kay Kay! You have hit it right on the dot. That is why I am thankful for the Christian forums and to be able to know I am not alone in this. I appreciate you sharing because it really does help me to see this more clearly. I just hate when I have to analyze everything, research things to death, and then doubt doubt doubt.
I end up feeling like i am crazy.