The tears won't stop coming

[christian cutie danni]

My family has always been very close, even to extended relatives such as second cousins and great grand parents. It is currently 2:15 am, where I live, and I've been up since around 3 am yesterday. I have bad insomnia, and I can not sleep, though Lord knows I need it.

For the last six months, my great grandfather has been sick with cancer. He rufused treatment, because we all knew it would do nothing, and he was dying anyways. They knew that he was so far gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

Tonight at around 11:20, as my mother was getting ready to go out, we got a call from my grandmother. My mom's grandpa had died. Just that very moment.

I've been crying all day, because they knew it was going to be tonight sometime, they could barely find his pulse, in the last 48 hours, he lost his ability to speak, and his breathing was barely existant. They say he fought to the end.

My Great-Grandpa was truely great, and he was a wonderful man full of wisdom and he treated all of his grand kids equally (although i swear he gave me a few more peices of candy than my 3 sisters on more than one occasion )

The thing is, i can't quit crying, I don't know what to do with myself. I haven't seen him in nearly 2 years and I didn't get to say good-bye.

And I know he's not suffering, but I think what hurts me the most, is I'm pretty sure he wasn't a believer, that means I'll never see him again. And I can't quit crying, the tears won't stop coming.

How do I deal with this?

 

[sonofgodjose]

I encourage you to pray for him to find his way back to our Heavenly Father and I will be praying for you.

I know it hurts to lose someone and I can empathize with you. I hope you can find peace.

 

[Lizzie01]

It must be so hard and i know it can be because i lost my mother 8 months ago.. Just keep trying to talk to Jesus how you are feeling even if you are still so angry and frustrated and really sad, I know you may be unsure where your great grandpa is but tell God that, I know and trust and believe that He will take care of your great grandpa and you and your family. If you need to talk or anything please p.m. me anytime. I am here.

 

[CountryLady]

I'm so sorry for your loss, he sounds like he was a wonderful man. Big hugs to you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[9T6]

Do we call you Danni?

The first thing that struck me as blessed about your post was that your first thoughts showed how important to you your family is as a whole and how close you all are. That is a great gift and will be a big help in your passage through this grief. It means that not only are there close people there for you, but that you are also there for them, too. Consoling others in the midst of our own grief is in itself very therapeutic and rewarding.

The second thing that struck me as blessed about your post is that your great grandfather had presumably lived to a great old age and was still surrounded by his caring family even to the very end. Whilst you and your family obviously feel deep sadness, I am sure your great grandfather has often looked back on his own life and thought how wonderful to have been able to be with his family and even watch his great grandchildren growing up. Whilst death is very sad, it is also inevitable at some stage and it is therefore important to also focus on that person's life as well as their departure from life. You may find it helpful at some point to sit down with your relatives and go back through family photos and memories and capture the richness of all the ups and downs, all the milestones, that formed his life back through the years.

You mention that you have three sisters. Have you shared your sorrow with them? Talking about it, sharing it, expressing it with tears, are all forms of showing the love that we feel towards someone we have lost. Also, from your picture, it seems you are interested in music. Music, drawing/painting, and writing are very powerful means of expressing our emotions. If you like music then maybe you will find help through listening to or composing music.


You also said:

I think what hurts me the most, is I'm pretty sure he wasn't a believer, that means I'll never see him again. And I can't quit crying, the tears won't stop coming.

Whilst you may not be sure of your great grandfather's beliefs, this sentence shows that you are a believer. As a believer, I am sure you also share the belief that love is a gift from God. In addition, I am sure you also believe that love never dies. Therefore, it is clear that in order for there to be no sorrow in the world to come, all love must be reconciled again.

As you say, you do not know your great grandfather's beliefs. No one ever really does know that about another person. But that does not mean his faith was not there in his heart. Many, many people are very quiet and modest about their beliefs when, in fact, their faith is a solid as a rock. When Jesus says: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me", he is not talking about those that just go about declaring their faith from the rooftops, but those that look after their families and their loved ones, and respond to anyone else they meet along life's highway that need their help.

You believe in a God who is good and kind and loving, and above all, stands for righteous and justice. You believe in a God in whom you can place your complete trust and all your hopes. Your great grandfather's greatest wish would be that you do exactly that.

"Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor 13:13)

 

[Everglaze]

Hi Danni...

um, the best thing you can do is pray...I mean, God is the best comfort, no? I'm sorry to hear about your grampa though. I'm sure that's very difficult and he will be missed greatly. Just remember the things that he taught you and hold onto the memories and moments that you spent with him. Just be thankful for that. I really don't know what to say...but, just stay strong.

 

[traingosorry]

Danni

Please consider this - like 9T6 has said, our God is a LOVING God. We are His children each and every single one of us and all our lives we stumble and fall and it is HE who brushes us off, and continues loving us, even when we have never faced Him or have faced away from Him.
Perhaps you can think in a new way, that God is giving us those second chances all our life, right up until our very last breath. I like to think that just before we die, God makes His presence known so much that really, how can we deny Him and his very existence.... not only that but he wraps us up in peace and love as we pass on, so much that we would never want to be away from that. Imagine this for your great-grandfather, a non-believer in his lifetime but with God in the end.

I believe this to be true for several experiences I have had in my lifetime losing loved ones and friends who were non-believers but yet when the time came something happens inside them, that only they would really understand. Lizzie01 is my sister and like she said we lost our mom 8 months ago and though she said she believed in God and she grew up attending church, she never really accepted Christ into her life, not until about a week before she passed. I do not doubt that my Mom is in Heaven right now.

Look how much you loved your great-grandpa, imagine how much MORE God loves him. Have faith in our God who loves us to that extent - And breathe a little easier.

 

[Anti Existance]

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2 He had seven sons and three daughters, 3 and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.



4 His sons used to take turns holding feasts in their homes, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom. Job's First Test

6 One day the angels [a] came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan [b] also came with them. 7 The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?"
Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."



8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

9 "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. 10 "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 11 But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."

12 The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."
Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.

13 One day when Job's sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, 14 a messenger came to Job and said, "The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, 15 and the Sabeans attacked and carried them off. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

16 While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, "The fire of God fell from the sky and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

17 While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, "The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and carried them off. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

18 While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, 19 when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised." 22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

You have to allow the natural flow of nature, for God is like the sea it gives and it takes.

But if you miss your Grandfather think of this. Imagine you died instead of your Grandfather , would you love to see your loved ones to grieve , be in miserable pain, and sadness for many years to come? Of course NOT? You wanted them to live and be happy, so instead of dying for your grandfather ,start living for him, because this is the same he would want for you.

 

[romaneagle13]

Danni, I know how you are feeling. I was visiting my family for Thanksgiving and two days later as my husband and I were getting ready to go home, my parents informed us that my grandfather had died. His funeral was yesterday. Reading the sympathy cards still makes me cry. I know that it is harder on my grandmother, his wife (now widow) of 59 years. But it still doesn't make me feel any less sad.

 

[heatherq17]

I am so sorry for you loss! He sounds like a nice man! Kepp praying to him and God

 

[SparkyMaddie]

that's all I can say,as I am so missing my Grandma this season.
I will pray for you.Prayers do help us mourn.