"The Silver Ring Thing" abstinence program produces....pregnancies.

[TheThirdLink]

Ok, the first half of this thread was just mocking abstinance, but eventually the pro-abstinance people showed up. Glad you're here.

 

[platzapS]

I went to a Christian school in eighth grade, when we had an abstinence teacher come in. Sure, she scared most of us into being abstinent, but it worked, at least for me. Nothing like seeing pictures of people with STDs. I think sex before marriage is a bad idea.

However, I really don't care if other people have sex before marriage. It's their choice, and it's not hurting me. I only care when they consider abortion, which I believe is wrong. But that's not the topic of this thread...

I agree with most of you that abstinence-only education is ineffective. Tell the students that abstinence is the best way to prevent disease/pregnancy/emotional scars, but tell them how to have safer sex. (It's interesting--many have changed "safe sex" to "safer sex.")

 

[renegade pariah]

Where I went to school, abstinance was hardly concidered, and most of my peers were rushing into any activity that made them feel more grown up. Unfortunately they often chose the most immature activities as growing up rituals. I was a real oddball, I was one of the few males not rushing into sexuality. Certainly was awkward, I had decided to save myself for marriage, but there was absolutely no one supporting that position that I had access to. It would have been nice if abstinance and wholesome activities with the opposite sex had been promoted, rather than letting people like me just be influenced only by worldly values. As it was I had to defend myself from being labled wierd because I did not chase girls. I would work on having a platonic relationshup with girls, and would ineventably be asked if something was wrong, when I did not make sexual advances....and the whole time I was hearing how it was the boys who were sexually agressive. I think there are double standards and lots of games that go on in highschool... and lacking a solid community to get your cues from, you will turn to television and peer pressure to guide you. Abstinance was the only acceptable way for hundreds of years, but now suddenly for most of society it is a joke.

 

[praying]

I'm hearing now in high schools the girls are wearing their BC patches on their back, just where it would be above the top of their thong that shows over their pants hip line.

One school told them they may not wear these patches where they are visible, so they're putting them in other places, but placing a simple Band-Aid where they were putting the patch, to indicate the same thing.

Not only aren't they abstaining, they're Advertising!

Our youth I fear for them.

 

[praying]

You folks need to lighten up. I seriously doubt a movement to make everyone prude is going to solve much. In fact, as has been stated in this thread the nations that tend to lighten up about sexuality and treat it as a normal and natural thing are the ones with lower rates of teen pregnancy. Seems more likely to me that prudish attitudes do more to promote unhealthy teen attitudes toward sex than does seeing a breast on TV.

I don't think that abstinence only, which I don't agree with is teaching them to be prudes, it is teaching that sex should be more than just a feel good proposition with every other person you might have an attraction to and responsibilty. While I agree that with MsJones that sex should not be portrayed as something dirty or something not to be talked about at all it should be taught BY THE PARENTS PRIMARILY that sex should be an act of love with emotional bonds and committent.

 

[praying]

Sex is not for fun,

Well that might be taking it a bit far.

 

[MQTA]

Our youth I fear for them.

I'm sure that's been a phrase said for Thousands of years.

Remember Bye Bye Birdie? 40 years ago... What's the matter with kids today

 

[MQTA]

If they want to teach abstinance they should be open to filling them in on masturbation. If the fear is STDs or Pregnancy, then that'll cover both bases.

 

[rahma]

This is aeroz19 posting, sis of TTL. The site won't allow me to log out as TTL and log in with my username. So here goes...

I can't believe this post. I can't believe this site. I can't BELIEVE what you people, who are supposed to be Christians, are saying.

Darling, number one, I'm not a christian, so what I say doesn't reflect on christianity in the least.

Maybe the pregnancies aren't being caused by the abstinance-only policy, but rather, the policy was implemented because of the crazy pregnancies going on. Didn't think about that, huh?

Um, I was a sexual assault and HIV educator in high school. We traveled around and studied different programs. I've thought about just about everything when it comes to abstinance only education, and sex education for that matter

By the way, having sex before marriage is fornication, and having sex with someone other than your spouce is adultery.

What? Really? Gee, not that my religion is against that or anything

As for the rest of it, I really don't see how you got so riled up and ranted on after reading my little ol post.

I suppose it's time for me to say my piece about this:

Sex education works best if you say: There is no such thing as SAFE sex, only SAFER sex. Then you emphasise the horrors of HIV and STDS, bring in people dying of AIDS and crippled from STDS. Then you say, but, if in the future, after talking with your partner you decide to have sex, here are the tools you need to protect yourself. Now remember, condoms fail. You still have a (insert number here)% chance of getting sick or pregnant. Then you send them off on their way, better educated and with choices.

Additionally, some people choose to use protection in marriage. Sex education is more then just sending teens out to have recreational sex. It includes reproductive heath and other vital information for having a happy, healthy sex life.

 

[Western Deity]

I don't support abstinence, but there's no doubt that it is the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancies or std's. If you're going to have sex, use a rubber or be prepared to get burnt- it's that simple. As for sex at the wrong time (outside of marriage etc.) being immoral... christians don't get to decide everybody's morals .

 

[Firscherscherling]

Nothing like being offensive.

Just because I have firm beliefs in marital sex, doesn't mean I'm a prude.
It's a lot easier to sleep with a man you are in a loving relationship than not. I could call your choices MANY offensive things. I won't lower myself to that standard.

This has nothing to do with nudity. That is a completely different subject.

... but back on thread... IMO, promoting abstinance is nothing more that promoting proper health for our children, respect for their bodies, and will give them a sence of pride when they are married. They will have less heartache too... and that's with all religious opinions aside.

God Bless,
C

You offend easily.

I couldn't agree less with you regarding pride and sex. You don't teach a child that avoiding sex=pride or respect. You don't teach them it is dirty. Do so and be prepared for the consequences.

And personally, I see no need to wait for marriage. I didn't and I have no heartache, nor did my wife, no heartache... In fact, the only peope I know who faced problems with premarital sex are those who had other problems at home that caused them to make bad choices. Among those problems were unltra-conservative and over-critical parents and parents who gave no or too little sexual information.

Self respect is not about whether you have sex. Its exactly the other way around. A healthy mind and attitude and an educated brain give you self respect and that in turn helps in decision making. Teach children the truth, not scare tactics. Teach them to love themselves, not be ashamed of their bodies. Teach them self worth. Then they will make smart decisions regarding that information including sex. Ignorance and scare tactics lead to problems, not solutions.

And if my daughter is happy and healthy, and if she is in a mature monogamus and responsible relationship, I will not sentence her to virginity until marriage. She can have a happy and healthy sex life when she is ready. She need not be concerned about the archaic attitudes of others.

 

[Firscherscherling]

This is aeroz19 posting, sis of TTL. The site won't allow me to log out as TTL and log in with my username. So here goes...

I can't believe this post. I can't believe this site. I can't BELIEVE what you people, who are supposed to be Christians, are saying.

Maybe the pregnancies aren't being caused by the abstinance-only policy, but rather, the policy was implemented because of the crazy pregnancies going on. Didn't think about that, huh?

By the way, having sex before marriage is fornication, and having sex with someone other than your spouce is adultery.

God designed sex so that two loving people of the opposite sex could show their love to each other and deepen their relationship, and so that humans could make more humans. Sex is not for fun, a free gift to give away casually. Sex is the most intimate thing you have, besides your soul.

GIVING SEX AWAY TO SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO IS TREATING YOUR BODY, SOUL, AND MIND LIKE TRASH, ALLOWING OTHERS WHO DON'T WANT YOU IN THE LONG TERM TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU NOT FOR ONE NIGHT, BUT FOREVER.

How long do they want you? Not forever.

How long will they haunt you? Forever.

If the kids can't wait for sex, they are missing out on what God has perfectly designed for them--lasting soulmates. God has in mind, right now, the husband or wife He has chosen for them to marry. And if they cannot wait for marriage, they are probably crushing their chance of ever meeting that special person.

This post is a perfect illustration of what I don't want my kids to think.

Better to be smart, be educated, be realistic, have self respect, be confident, make smart choices.

Sorry, but I am not haunted by sexual ghosts from the past. I respected myself and I did not treat my body like trash.

Please don't treat your mind like trash. Choose not to have sex for the right reasons, not myths or scare tactics. Be proud and wait til marriage because you are secure in your own beliefs and self worth. Done expect to gain pride for abstaining based on fear.

 

[flicka]

IMO people put way to much emphasis on virginity...and on sex. It's only a big frickin deal if you choose to make it one.

 

[msjones21]

Oh, I don't know. I've always thought sleeping around (sex outside of marriage) was potentially, both dirty (STDs) and meaningless (no commitment).

Um, I'm sorry but I find the comment about all sex outside of wedlock being considered "sleeping around" offensive. I have sexual relations with one man and one man only. No, we're not married but it's not "sleeping around" either. We are deeply in love and highly committed to one another, moreso than most married couples are. Our lovemaking is never dirty or meaningless, despite the fact that we are not married. I know that our commitment is not temporary. Just because we aren't married doesn't mean we aren't devoted to one another.

I can't believe this post. I can't believe this site. I can't BELIEVE what you people, who are supposed to be Christians, are saying.

Get a grip. Not everyone has to think the same way you do. That's what life is all about.

Maybe the pregnancies aren't being caused by the abstinance-only policy, but rather, the policy was implemented because of the crazy pregnancies going on. Didn't think about that, huh?

Wrong. Teen pregnancy rates have increased in school districts that enforce an abstinence only sex education. Why? Because teens are having sex anyway but in this case they haven't been educated on methods of birth control. You know you're doing something wrong when teenage girls are asking if they can get pregnant from performing oral sex. Let's educate our young people, not tempt them into having sex by shrouding it in mystery.

By the way, having sex before marriage is fornication, and having sex with someone other than your spouce is adultery.

That is merely you're opinion.

God designed sex so that two loving people of the opposite sex could show their love to each other and deepen their relationship,

News flash...you can have that outside of marriage as well.

Sex is not for fun

I think it's pretty enjoyable.

a free gift to give away casually

A) My hymen was not a gift.
B) I didn't give mine away so casually. I have no regrets.

GIVING SEX AWAY TO SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO IS TREATING YOUR BODY, SOUL, AND MIND LIKE TRASH,

My lover has never made me feel like trash. Sorry to burst your bubble but maybe some people give away sex too casually, but not everyone who has sex outside of marriage is promiscuous.

ALLOWING OTHERS WHO DON'T WANT YOU IN THE LONG TERM TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU NOT FOR ONE NIGHT, BUT FOREVER.

How offensive! I think you need to get a reality check and honestly think before you type. Not everyone who has sex out of wedlock is taking advantage of someone or being taken advantage of.

How long do they want you? Not forever.

My boyfriend and I plan on spending the rest of our lives together.

How long will they haunt you? Forever.

Baloney.

If the kids can't wait for sex, they are missing out on what God has perfectly designed for them--lasting soulmates. God has in mind, right now, the husband or wife He has chosen for them to marry. And if they cannot wait for marriage, they are probably crushing their chance of ever meeting that special person.

You're such an optimist.

If parents choose this type of education for THEIR kids your opinion should carry exactly zero weight in the matter.

You're right. My "opinion" doesn't really matter. The point is that no public school should ever use a method of teaching sex education that has biblical roots. If parents wish to prohibit their child from taking a BALANCED sex education course then they are well within their rights.

 

[MediocrityInAction]

Humanity has two main hobbies: Making more humans, and making less humans. We cannot stop ourselves from doing these things, as we are programmed to do them. Abstinence-only birth control has never been terribly effective. Why else would we create a whole cultural taboo about b*stard births if they were not happening throughout history? Pre-marital sex is not a new thing, as it is as old as the concept of monogamous marriage itself. There were always shotgun weddings and illegitimate births throughout history, and any belief that we can wave a magic wand and make them all go away is ridiculous.

 

[MQTA]

IMO people put way to much emphasis on virginity...and on sex. It's only a big frickin deal if you choose to make it one.

It's only a big deal until you lose it. Then you know what you've been missing.

 

[ReUsAbLePhEoNiX]

both my wife and I were virgins, still happily married for 9 years.
Looking back, I would say I made too much of a big deal about sex and waiting.
My advice is dont spend so much time trying not to think about sex/waiting.
.. and just do it responsibly with somebody whom you want to share the positive expereince.
taadaa!
now all your new free thinking time can be put to better use other than trying to deny natural drives...all men should relate to this.

 

[JPPT1974]

First I am a Christian, Second a human being, Third an American citizen, Fourth(tie)duaghter, sister, and aunt, & Fifth a virgin willing to save the gift and night of virginity when I give to my husband and he to me when he is a Christian and a virgin. I really, as a non-dating and confirmed bachelorlette, really don't think about sex nor much less dating but when and/or if the time comes, I need to guard my life not just on the outside but inside mainly.

 

[Existential1]

GIVING SEX AWAY TO SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO IS TREATING YOUR BODY, SOUL, AND MIND LIKE TRASH, ALLOWING OTHERS WHO DON'T WANT YOU IN THE LONG TERM TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU NOT FOR ONE NIGHT, BUT FOREVER.

Having sex with someone who exploits you, and perhaps just for their self gratification: is wrong, and to be avoided.

Having sex outwith marriage need not necessarily equate to such exploitation.

I have been transfigured by everyone who took me in loving sexual union. I carry the witness of their unique difference from me, within me: and shall do forever; and shall always carry the sweet memory of this to God.

Now I am married, and have teen children, I would never commit adultery: that would be to fail to cleave to God; would be to abandon my part in what God brings to my family.

But, when I was not married, and with others who were not married: there was nothing that was not of God, in what occurred; and out of wedlock.

Unwanted pregnancies and STD are serious human matters, to be grappled resourcefully. For some the orthodox Christian package of wedlock and abstinence will do the good work of protecting and nurturing our children: and for them this program should be in place.
For others, who do not share occurrence and aspiration with the authors of this programme: then I see only Christian exploitation; and I would fear that more will be taken from these children by this programme, than they will recieve.

I tend not to like very much, many of the people who are attracted towards manning such programmes. That could be open to change. If I found that the Christians behind this programme, really cared about those they reached out to: as opposed to opening some door for eventual Christian conversion, which I always fear is the real agenda; then I might open more to them and their programme.

I am worried that such Christian programmes are crossing the Atlantic: it mkes me fear for the soul of Christianity.

 

[Douglaangu]

Without any kind of sexual education you get people like this roaming around.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_957945.html?menu=news.weirdworld.sexlife

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.