Hi, I just thought I'd ask for prayer here, because I have this problem philosophically in regard to postmodernism. For years I have struggled with christian belief - I was drawn to existentialist philosophies to some extent and probably had read some of Bultmann at one stage in my life. So that was were I was at I think earlier in life. Its probably a bit hard for people of faith to understand, but I seemed to be in and out of different philosophies, each one colouring my experience of the world - I would feel uncomfortable in cartesian dualism and seek something else - and read Heidegger, then feel there was no way back from that. You have to understand its like I do absorb these ideas into my worldview, which maybe not everyone who studies philosophy does. So its like I live in these philosophies.
Well I must have stayed at least partly with the Bultmannian, existentialist frame for a good few years, till around twenty five years ago when I went further and went beyond existentialism and into postmodernism of some sort and that was like falling into an abyss. I really felt unconnected and no hold on anything, as if I was just tumbling and tumbling. It was a nightmare. Previously some verse of the Bible would give me a something to hold on to, but I found that not even John 1:1 could pull me out. I simply could not explain to people. I deconstructed myself, my "I"
So I really am not sure why I am posting, but I suppose to ask for prayer.
Maybe I am too introspective and trying to figure were I was at and were I am at now and need to be more outward focused.
I can't explain were I am at, but reading the Bible is not the same as it was before I plunged into Postmodernism. The whole issue is I suppose around words and reality, and is there any reality? To cope I tell myself there is, even though at one point I was sure and said there was no reality - I was very confused at that time and thought I wasn't in touch with reality, then from there went to thinking there was no reality, at the same time I was thinking myself to be God. Although I don't remember it clearly someone took me to a crisis psychiatric centre, and I said that to them, the response was that nothing could be done for me. I am not sure if I still have that ideation about being God. It did seem at the time the only way to cope, as I felt I had very little grasp on reality and was about to lose that totally.
Well I must have stayed at least partly with the Bultmannian, existentialist frame for a good few years, till around twenty five years ago when I went further and went beyond existentialism and into postmodernism of some sort and that was like falling into an abyss. I really felt unconnected and no hold on anything, as if I was just tumbling and tumbling. It was a nightmare. Previously some verse of the Bible would give me a something to hold on to, but I found that not even John 1:1 could pull me out. I simply could not explain to people. I deconstructed myself, my "I"
So I really am not sure why I am posting, but I suppose to ask for prayer.
Maybe I am too introspective and trying to figure were I was at and were I am at now and need to be more outward focused.
I can't explain were I am at, but reading the Bible is not the same as it was before I plunged into Postmodernism. The whole issue is I suppose around words and reality, and is there any reality? To cope I tell myself there is, even though at one point I was sure and said there was no reality - I was very confused at that time and thought I wasn't in touch with reality, then from there went to thinking there was no reality, at the same time I was thinking myself to be God. Although I don't remember it clearly someone took me to a crisis psychiatric centre, and I said that to them, the response was that nothing could be done for me. I am not sure if I still have that ideation about being God. It did seem at the time the only way to cope, as I felt I had very little grasp on reality and was about to lose that totally.
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