The Physical Things

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

Many of you on here have stated that the physical boundaries in your relationship are hand-holding, hugs/arm around shoulders, and kissing. That's where my boyfriend and I TRY to draw the line at, but I admit there are times when we have kissed too much, too long, and hands have roamed. For those of you that kiss, are those only lip kisses, or do you french kiss too? For the girls, does he ever kiss your forehead or hand(s)? (I love both of these kisses. My guy ALWAYS kisses my hands when we part.)

How many of you struggle with physical things, and what exactly?

Also, this is a bit of a different subject, but what do you think of the guy putting his arm behind the girl on the back of the pew at church, if they are only dating? Some frown upon any kinda of PDA in a church setting, even as simple as that, with a dating couple, so I was just wondering what you all thought.

Thanksabunches!!!

 

[Singin4Him]

Many of you on here have stated that the physical boundaries in your relationship are hand-holding, hugs/arm around shoulders, and kissing. That's where my boyfriend and I TRY to draw the line at, but I admit there are times when we have kissed too much, too long, and hands have roamed. For those of you that kiss, are those only lip kisses, or do you french kiss too? For the girls, does he ever kiss your forehead or hand(s)? (I love both of these kisses. My guy ALWAYS kisses my hands when we part.)

How many of you struggle with physical things, and what exactly?

Also, this is a bit of a different subject, but what do you think of the guy putting his arm behind the girl on the back of the pew at church, if they are only dating? Some frown upon any kinda of PDA in a church setting, even as simple as that, with a dating couple, so I was just wondering what you all thought.

Thanksabunches!!!

To the first part of your post, I'm married so this doesn't apply to me now BUT I will say when dating you have to be so careful with the physical side of the relationship. Even the most innocent things like your boyfriend kissing your hands can turn into something more. As Christians we have to guard ourselves against temptation and that is why the physical relationship in a dating relationship should not be the most important aspect of the relationship.

About the second part of your post, it really depends on the people, the amount of time they have been dating and their age. Personally when teenagers do this in church I find it VERY inappropriate but it can be inappropriate even with anyone if they become more focused on each other at church than God. Even married people can be guilty of this, my mom was telling me about a man and woman she saw at church that were tickling each other during church and making a huge commotion. There is a thin line, we all need to be sure we don't cross it, we need to make sure our focus is in the right place.

 

[Inperfected]

Mmm I struggle a bit at times, with wanting hands to roam.. but getting it under control..

And the physical affection in church... I guess it depends on what sort really... Kissings out of the picture... But things like holding hands, or hand on back isn't really a problem, i think after church is more apropriate than in church tho..
But then we have youth church, and i'll hug my bf during it, or after or whatever... and my church family (real, not youth) has become accustomed to me teasing (ticklings, annoying) him and him teasing me.... Same way we do with the younger kids.

 

[KristianJ]

Also, this is a bit of a different subject, but what do you think of the guy putting his arm behind the girl on the back of the pew at church, if they are only dating? Some frown upon any kinda of PDA in a church setting, even as simple as that, with a dating couple, so I was just wondering what you all thought.

If it's a distraction, then hold your Bible instead of your partner... I think it's fine if you know that both you and your SO can firmly concentrate on what's happening in the service. But if it doesn't sit well with other members of the congregation, definitely consider their reasoning and leave any hand holding to after the service

 

[chanis]

as women we are turned on by touch...we love it...that's how we were created...so we need to make sure we're careful in what we engage because it will cause us to want more...yes it's a struggle but it just comes to doing practical things so you won't get caught up...for me I'd say it's hard becuse I'm a very affectionate person so I need to make sure that I set my boundaries and let the person I date know that when we start dating...and I encourage the whole boundries talk so we can be accountable...

 

[chanis]

oh and as far as the arm on the pew i don't see it as a problem unless it bothers others in the church then you need to repect that...

 

[invisiblebabe]

Holding hands and arms around one another in church is fine. I was having quite terrible episodes a month or two ago (I have bipolar disorder), so I would literally need my fiance to let me lean on him during church (nothing inappropriate, just my head on his shoulder and his arm around me). We didn't get much garbage from others about it, thankfully..... if we had, I would've told the people that things aren't what they appear to be, so please withhold judgment.... and if they still gave us garbage, I would have likely looked for another church or refused to go. I simply do not have the energy to deal with that type of thing.

Kissing or tickling in church.... that is distracting and inappropriate, nor do I see someone having a valid need for this.

 

[Uphill Battle]

My girlfriend and I have almost two physical boundaries. We kiss, and hug, hold hands etc... and that is the SPOKEN boundary. We talked about it, and it goes that far and no further. but if the arousal level starts from the kissing or touch (on something like the back or the shoulder, nothing in the more *ahem* sensitive areas) then the activity is stopped. So, we know where our line is, and even if we are on the "right" side of the line, if anyone feels a bit to passionate, we stop it altogether. No point in playing with fire.

 

[Inperfected]

Uphill... Yup, you stated my veiw very eloquently.. Thanks

 

[KristianJ]

Kissing or tickling in church.... that is distracting and inappropriate, nor do I see someone having a valid need for this.

I'd find that equally as distracting as anyone talking in church duing a sermon - to me, it shows a bit of disrespect not only for the preacher, but for the truth of the word of God.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I'd find that equally as distracting as anyone talking in church duing a sermon - to me, it shows a bit of disrespect not only for the preacher, but for the truth of the word of God.

Agreed.

How 'bout back handsprings or cartwheels in the back of a church? *laugh* Quite distracting and rude, I'd imagine... but FUNNY.

 

[KristianJ]

Agreed.

How 'bout back handsprings or cartwheels in the back of a church? *laugh* Quite distracting and rude, I'd imagine... but FUNNY.

I'm having flashbacks to The Blues Brothers now!!

 

[Singin4Him]

as women we are turned on by touch...we love it...that's how we were created...so we need to make sure we're careful in what we engage because it will cause us to want more...yes it's a struggle but it just comes to doing practical things so you won't get caught up

I'm sorry but I have to completely disagree with this statement. This may be true for you personally but I do not believe this is true in most cases with women. This is actually something this is very much and generally more so to be true with men actually which is why I said what I said in my previous post.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I'm sorry but I have to completely disagree with this statement. This may be true for you personally but I do not believe this is true in most cases with women. This is actually something this is very much and generally more so to be true with men actually which is why I said what I said in my previous post.

I agree with Singin4Him. There are certainly exceptions, but in general, men are more easily aroused by touch and sight, and women are more easily aroused by emotional connection (sweet words, loving actions, etc).

 

[Inperfected]

mmm... I think if you go a "little" bit deeper into the subject, female are by loving touch too....

 

[Singin4Him]

mmm... I think if you go a "little" bit deeper into the subject, female are by loving touch too....

Well being married and having many discussions with married women I still have to disagree with that . It is MOSTLY based on emotion.

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

Thanks for all of your replies so far, everyone, but can we please stay on the original subject? Thanks so much!

 

[mosese2]

I think this should not even be discussed because people go to church to worship,i don't see where touching and cuddling should come in in church,unless you went there with your own agenda.