The other woman

[Amada___]

Hello!
I'm going to be very vulnerable here. I have been a Christian for 10 years. I was engaged with someone I was so in love with and then in 2019 found out he was cheating on me. God held my hand throughout the whole situation, I have never felt more happy and more blessed! However, recently, someone from my past came back into my life after 10 years, he was my first love (I wasn't a Christian at that time) and I just knew us talking was trouble!!! But the temptation was sooooo strong not only did we end up sleeping together while he was engaged, it continued after he got married as well .... I never even had sex with my ex fiance so I have no idea how I let all this happen.. I finally stopped it and repented and confessed everything to my pastors and have been so open about it because I refused to allow that sin to grow! The moment I confessed it I felt soooo free! But I'm still struggling with guilt, how can I face God??? How does he forgive me after literally being the other woman in someone's marriage??? I got cheated on so I know how it feels so now I just feel like I'm sooooo undeserving of a good marriage in the future my pastors have been so amazing to me and have encouraged me and there have been so many moments where God used other people to speak into my life but still I feel undeserving. I already feared marriage before and now I fear it even more because I feel like I'm going to reap what I Sowed. But I'm truly repentant I completely exposed myself because I wanted my freedom more than anything! I didn't care if people judged me I have already used this situation to help others but how do I get past this feeling? These are definitely consequences of my sin and I get that and I also think of the story of David, even though God forgave him he still had to suffer so much should I just expect that of my life?

 

[BobRyan]

As a Christian our job is to repent of the past and then never look back because what matters is not what you did - but what you are doing and what you will do. You can't pray to God and ask Him to help you change history - but you can ask Him to cause you to cooperate with Him as He makes your future.

Never "sit in God's chair" as if to determine what your punishment should be in the future. Trust God. Be a trooper as Paul said to Timothy - "be a good soldier... join me".

Satan wants you to look back... God wants you to look ahead - chose God's way.

We are all like climbers on the side of a cliff - it does us no good at all "to look down". Look up. Focus on the task at hand because it is still "life and death".

 

[Palmfever]

You repented. Which means you change course. I'm not sure God remembers it. But Satan sure does, quit listening to him he is the accuser.

 

[Albion]

Hello, Amanda. I don't know what to say about the idea of 'coming clean' publicly or how others might profit from knowing your experience, etc. but Christianity is a religion of forgiveness.

To doubt that God will forgive the things we've done and been horrified to think about them afterwards is, well, a mistake.

It's understandable and even commendable on one level, but the whole story of Christ, the Incarnation, Jesus' public ministry, him going to his death for us...it's all about a God who, unlike the pagan gods, is a God of forgiveness if we do turn to him.

And those sins are not simply remitted; they are put into the past as if they had not occurred.

 

[Amada___]

Hello, Amanda. I don't know what to say about the idea of 'coming clean' publicly or how others might profit from knowing your experience, etc. but Christianity is a religion of forgiveness.

I meant that I exposed myself to pastors and mentors as obviously I am careful as to who I share this with because it's still fresh and personal. But I opened up to one friend and turns out she was struggling with sexual sin and through hearing that I was able to confess it to my pastors it encouraged her to do that same as she has been feeling trapped with carrying this secret. But it's not something I will go up to the church and expose lol maybe years later to show what God took me out of. Thank you so much for your response it was so helpful! ♥️

To doubt that God will forgive the things we've done and been horrified to think about them afterwards is, well, a mistake.

It's understandable and even commendable on one level, but the whole story of Christ, the Incarnation, Jesus' public ministry, him going to his death for us...it's all about a God who, unlike the pagan gods, is a God of forgiveness if we do turn to him.

And those sins are not simply remitted; they are put into the past as if they had not occurred.

 

[Amada___]

You repented. Which means you change course. I'm not sure God remembers it. But Satan sure does, quit listening to him he is the accuser.

You're so right. I'm putting more ear to the devil.. he's the one that keeps telling me I can't be redeemed I need to dive into the work and continue seeking God's truth. Thank you sooo much!! ♥️

 

[Amada___]

Hello, Amanda. I don't know what to say about the idea of 'coming clean' publicly or how others might profit from knowing your experience, etc. but Christianity is a religion of forgiveness.

To doubt that God will forgive the things we've done and been horrified to think about them afterwards is, well, a mistake.

It's understandable and even commendable on one level, but the whole story of Christ, the Incarnation, Jesus' public ministry, him going to his death for us...it's all about a God who, unlike the pagan gods, is a God of forgiveness if we do turn to him.

And those sins are not simply remitted; they are put into the past as if they had not occurred.

I meant that I exposed myself to pastors and mentors as obviously I am careful as to who I share this with because it's still fresh and personal. But I opened up to one friend and turns out she was struggling with sexual sin and through hearing that I was able to confess it to my pastors it encouraged her to do that same as she has been feeling trapped with carrying this secret. But it's not something I will go up to the church and expose lol maybe years later to show what God took me out of. Thank you so much for your response it was so helpful! ♥️

 

[Amada___]

As a Christian our job is to repent of the past and then never look back because what matters is not what you did - but what you are doing and what you will do. You can't pray to God and ask Him to help you change history - but you can ask Him to cause you to cooperate with Him as He makes your future.

Never "sit in God's chair" as if to determine what your punishment should be in the future. Trust God. Be a trooper as Paul said to Timothy - "be a good soldier... join me".

Satan wants you to look back... God wants you to look ahead - chose God's way.

We are all like climbers on the side of a cliff - it does us no good at all "to look down". Look up. Focus on the task at hand because it is still "life and death".

 

[Amada___]

Thank you so much! You're words mean so much to me and have no idea how much encouragement and comfort it brought. It's funny because I have always given this type of advice to others, "just get back up and don't look back" and here I am lol dwelling... But you're right!! The enemy wats me to keep looking back and feeling like a failure! But now I know to keep looking forward, trusting God and asking Him to cleanse my heart! I never want to fall like that again.

 

[Amada___]

As a Christian our job is to repent of the past and then never look back because what matters is not what you did - but what you are doing and what you will do. You can't pray to God and ask Him to help you change history - but you can ask Him to cause you to cooperate with Him as He makes your future.

Never "sit in God's chair" as if to determine what your punishment should be in the future. Trust God. Be a trooper as Paul said to Timothy - "be a good soldier... join me".

Satan wants you to look back... God wants you to look ahead - chose God's way.

We are all like climbers on the side of a cliff - it does us no good at all "to look down". Look up. Focus on the task at hand because it is still "life and death".

Thank you so much! You're words mean so much to me and have no idea how much encouragement and comfort it brought. It's funny because I have always given this type of advice to others, "just get back up and don't look back" and here I am lol dwelling... But you're right!! The enemy wats me to keep looking back and feeling like a failure! But now I know to keep looking forward, trusting God and asking Him to cleanse my heart! I never want to fall like that again.

 

[Sketcher]

What you need to do is learn and move on. You say you repented, and Jesus paid for your sin. You say that you knew it was trouble when you started talking, but you kept talking anyway, and the situation degenerated from there. You cannot trust in this guy's decency, because he showed none when he elected to cheat with you, and to get you to violate your own sexual morals. So, the question is: How are you going to not let this happen again? Why will it never happen again? If he decides he wants to cheat again, or if his marriage does not last, and he comes around again, what is going to be different this time so that this doesn't happen again?

 

[Lost4words]

God is mercy and love.

You know that God has indeed forgiven you. Now, you have believe that whole heartedly.

When Jesus told people that their sins were forgiven, He meant it.

Move forward with peace in your heart knowing that God has saved you. Stay on the right path now. However hard it gets, never lose sight of God. Dont let satan deter your path to salvation.

God bless you

 

[SANTOSO]

Hello!
I'm going to be very vulnerable here. I have been a Christian for 10 years. I was engaged with someone I was so in love with and then in 2019 found out he was cheating on me. God held my hand throughout the whole situation, I have never felt more happy and more blessed! However, recently, someone from my past came back into my life after 10 years, he was my first love (I wasn't a Christian at that time) and I just knew us talking was trouble!!! But the temptation was sooooo strong not only did we end up sleeping together while he was engaged, it continued after he got married as well .... I never even had sex with my ex fiance so I have no idea how I let all this happen.. I finally stopped it and repented and confessed everything to my pastors and have been so open about it because I refused to allow that sin to grow! The moment I confessed it I felt soooo free! But I'm still struggling with guilt, how can I face God??? How does he forgive me after literally being the other woman in someone's marriage??? I got cheated on so I know how it feels so now I just feel like I'm sooooo undeserving of a good marriage in the future my pastors have been so amazing to me and have encouraged me and there have been so many moments where God used other people to speak into my life but still I feel undeserving. I already feared marriage before and now I fear it even more because I feel like I'm going to reap what I Sowed. But I'm truly repentant I completely exposed myself because I wanted my freedom more than anything! I didn't care if people judged me I have already used this situation to help others but how do I get past this feeling? These are definitely consequences of my sin and I get that and I also think of the story of David, even though God forgave him he still had to suffer so much should I just expect that of my life?

Beloved one, have you considered carefully what Jesus have said ?

“She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.””
‭‭John‬ ‭8:11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Jesus said that I don’t condemn you; go and sin no more.

Do you know what the world said ? You go and sin no more, then I don’t condemn you.

So have you perceived and understand the Lord’s loving kindness and tender mercies ?

Also, consider this:

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven'for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." -Luke 7:47

Have you perceived the testimony of Christ for this sinful woman ?

For our Lord perceived that her repentance brought much love to Him.

To God the Father be thanksgiving through Christ. Amen.

 

[aiki]

Hello!
I'm going to be very vulnerable here. I have been a Christian for 10 years. I was engaged with someone I was so in love with and then in 2019 found out he was cheating on me. God held my hand throughout the whole situation, I have never felt more happy and more blessed! However, recently, someone from my past came back into my life after 10 years, he was my first love (I wasn't a Christian at that time) and I just knew us talking was trouble!!! But the temptation was sooooo strong not only did we end up sleeping together while he was engaged, it continued after he got married as well .... I never even had sex with my ex fiance so I have no idea how I let all this happen..

Really? If this is truly what you think, I wonder if you've actually repented of this sin. Repentance requires that you change your thinking about your sin, understanding and rejecting the lies and thought-dynamics that brought you into the sin. If you don't understand these things and how they brought you into sin, though, how will you recognize and reject them if/when they arise within you again? Repentance isn't merely acknowledging your sin and feeling badly about it but changing your thinking about your sin, adopting God's truth in its place and centering yourself in it and under it.

Crocodile Tears.

At the heart of all sin is Self, the "old (wo)man" the apostle Paul called him (or her). It's who we are without God, when we have a heart ruled by our will and way, when we sit upon the throne of our hearts rather than our holy Maker. Have you dealt with Self in the way the Bible prescribes? If not, "sin crouches at the door," ready to spring upon you, moving you again into behavior you will, in the midst of shame and guilt, wonder at in confusion.

I finally stopped it and repented and confessed everything to my pastors and have been so open about it because I refused to allow that sin to grow! The moment I confessed it I felt soooo free!

Even the lost sinner feels relief (what you call "free") when they admit to doing wrong. This feeling of relief is merely their conscience acting as God intended it to, pricking them terribly when they violate it and quieting when it is acknowledged and followed. But relief from the pangs of conscience through confession of wrongdoing is not necessarily indicative of things being properly restored between you and God any more than it would be for the guilty atheist who finds relief from his conscience by admitting to having done something morally wrong.

When God is in your repentance and confession of your sin, He will lead you into the truth about why you sinned and the way to freedom from it and all other sin. The cleansing work of God in response to your sin will take you deeper with Him, farther into a life lived under His constant control, and into a life more carefully constrained and order by His truth and an ever-growing love for Him. Is this what has happened?

But I'm still struggling with guilt, how can I face God??? How does he forgive me after literally being the other woman in someone's marriage??? I got cheated on so I know how it feels so now I just feel like I'm sooooo undeserving of a good marriage in the future my pastors have been so amazing to me and have encouraged me and there have been so many moments where God used other people to speak into my life but still I feel undeserving.

You are always undeserving of God's mercy and grace. We all are. God extends His love and forgiveness to you because He is a loving God and because of what Christ has done for you on the cross, paying for your adulterous sin with his own blood and life. This is so for us all. As the hymnist wrote,

"Nothing in my hands I bring,
Only to thy cross I cling."

We are accepted by God solely because of Jesus (Ephesians 1:6; John 14:6; 1 Timothy 2:5). None of us in-and-of ourselves can ever earn God's acceptance. We would have to be perfect to do so, which is impossible. And so, we must trust in Christ to be for us what we can't be for ourselves: Our Saviour, our atoning sacrifice, our perfect righteousness, our Redeemer. (1 Corinthians 1:30)

I already feared marriage before and now I fear it even more because I feel like I'm going to reap what I Sowed.

If this was the way God dealt with us, if God gave us what we deserved, we'd all be in hell. You will repeat your sin, though, if you have not learned the "way of escape" from sin God has provided to His children, and are living in daily submission to God's will and way.

I didn't care if people judged me I have already used this situation to help others but how do I get past this feeling?

By knowing, believing and, by faith, standing upon the truth. If you are God's child, you have forgiveness in Christ. Upon confession of your sin, his blood cleanses you from it (1 John 1:9). This is the truth no matter what you feel or how strongly you feel it.

Consider the apostle Paul's advice:

Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

No one becomes more like Jesus by staring at, and bemoaning, their sin. Forget what is in the past and press on toward the "upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Keep your eyes fixed on Christ and don't look away. (Hebrews 12:2-3; 2 Corinthians 3:18)

 

[Waymarker]

..I was engaged with someone I was so in love with and then in 2019 found out he was cheating on me..

Get rid of him, end of story..