Hello!
I'm going to be very vulnerable here. I have been a Christian for 10 years. I was engaged with someone I was so in love with and then in 2019 found out he was cheating on me. God held my hand throughout the whole situation, I have never felt more happy and more blessed! However, recently, someone from my past came back into my life after 10 years, he was my first love (I wasn't a Christian at that time) and I just knew us talking was trouble!!! But the temptation was sooooo strong not only did we end up sleeping together while he was engaged, it continued after he got married as well .... I never even had sex with my ex fiance so I have no idea how I let all this happen.. I finally stopped it and repented and confessed everything to my pastors and have been so open about it because I refused to allow that sin to grow! The moment I confessed it I felt soooo free! But I'm still struggling with guilt, how can I face God??? How does he forgive me after literally being the other woman in someone's marriage??? I got cheated on so I know how it feels so now I just feel like I'm sooooo undeserving of a good marriage in the future my pastors have been so amazing to me and have encouraged me and there have been so many moments where God used other people to speak into my life but still I feel undeserving. I already feared marriage before and now I fear it even more because I feel like I'm going to reap what I Sowed. But I'm truly repentant I completely exposed myself because I wanted my freedom more than anything! I didn't care if people judged me I have already used this situation to help others but how do I get past this feeling? These are definitely consequences of my sin and I get that and I also think of the story of David, even though God forgave him he still had to suffer so much should I just expect that of my life?
I'm going to be very vulnerable here. I have been a Christian for 10 years. I was engaged with someone I was so in love with and then in 2019 found out he was cheating on me. God held my hand throughout the whole situation, I have never felt more happy and more blessed! However, recently, someone from my past came back into my life after 10 years, he was my first love (I wasn't a Christian at that time) and I just knew us talking was trouble!!! But the temptation was sooooo strong not only did we end up sleeping together while he was engaged, it continued after he got married as well .... I never even had sex with my ex fiance so I have no idea how I let all this happen.. I finally stopped it and repented and confessed everything to my pastors and have been so open about it because I refused to allow that sin to grow! The moment I confessed it I felt soooo free! But I'm still struggling with guilt, how can I face God??? How does he forgive me after literally being the other woman in someone's marriage??? I got cheated on so I know how it feels so now I just feel like I'm sooooo undeserving of a good marriage in the future my pastors have been so amazing to me and have encouraged me and there have been so many moments where God used other people to speak into my life but still I feel undeserving. I already feared marriage before and now I fear it even more because I feel like I'm going to reap what I Sowed. But I'm truly repentant I completely exposed myself because I wanted my freedom more than anything! I didn't care if people judged me I have already used this situation to help others but how do I get past this feeling? These are definitely consequences of my sin and I get that and I also think of the story of David, even though God forgave him he still had to suffer so much should I just expect that of my life?