The One

[Peculiarone]

How do you know when the person you are with is the one for you to get married to? At what poiint in your relationship does it become revealled?

 

[Singin4Him]

It's not a matter of there being a point in your relationship where its suddenly revealed to you. If you're seeking the Lord's directions in your relationship every step of the way then in God's time He will tell you whether marriage is in your future with that person. If you're seeking God's directions in EVERY aspect of the relationship then you will have no problem discerning His plans for you when it comes to marriage.

 

[Simonw]

It's not a matter of there being a point in your relationship where its suddenly revealed to you. If you're seeking the Lord's directions in your relationship every step of the way then in God's time He will tell you whether marriage is in your future with that person. If you're seeking God's directions in EVERY aspect of the relationship then you will have no problem discerning His plans for you when it comes to marriage.

I agree with that too!

Singin4Him Your are on CGR as well right?

 

[California Dreamin']

I don't think the point in the relationship matters either. I just got asked to be Travis' girlfriend last night and I am pretty sure he's "the one". I have NEVER felt like this before and he is amazing.

 

[Maeyken]

I don't think there's a specific moment for everyone, and I think "knowing" comes at different points for everyone. Some people talk of knowing even before dating the person, while others talk about knowing only after dating for several years. Other people "know" somewhere in the middle. I think I knew about 6 months into the relationship that it would likely develop into marriage, and the knowing for sure came somewhere after that.

For me, it sort of went through a couple different phases. First off, there was asking "could I see myself marrying this person". That was before we started dating, because I would not date someone I couldn't see myself marrying. Then, there was asking "would I like to marry this person". Then saying, "I want to marry this person", and finally, "I can't imagine not marrying this person". (I'm marrying "this person" in 7 months... yippee!)

 

[Singin4Him]

I don't think the point in the relationship matters either. I just got asked to be Travis' girlfriend last night and I am pretty sure he's "the one". I have NEVER felt like this before and he is amazing.

It isn't a good idea to base things on how you feel or how the other person makes you feel. Sometimes our feelings can get in the way of us seeing things from a realistic view.

Also when I said I don't think there is a certain point in a relationship I didn't mean you could know the first day, that is impossible. You may have a idea that this person is everything you've prayed for but you really need to see them in every situation of life before you know they are exactly who they portray themselves to be. That may be something that happens quickly or it may be years, either way it's important to be open to the what the Lord wants not what you want. I know a new relationship is exciting but please take some time to seek the Lord before you start thinking this guy is "the one" for you.

 

[MN John]

The responses to this thread are very good. I will tell you how it was for me. I was very cautious about allowing myself to think that Sara was the woman that God wants me to marry. I knew that I desired that, but didn't want to let my desire interfere with the discernment that I was praying for. Consequently, I tended to put most positive signs down to wishful thinking.

Then one morning, during my quiet time as I prayed for God's will to be known and done in our relationship, I gave it all over to God. I told God that I would obey Him whether He wished me to marry Sara or give her up.

Suddenly an amazing calm came over me. I had read Philippians 4:6-7 before, but the phrase "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding" was not something that I had personally experienced before. It was amazing. At the same time, I felt gently scolded as if God said to me, "Wake up! Use your eyes and your ears. I have already given you your answer. how many times and how many ways must I tell you?"

I am eager to marry Sara, but we have much more learning to do before our courting becomes engagement. But this assurance that I received gives me contentment and being content gives me patience so that I am not anxious. We are shopping for promise rings next week. But we have no timeline for how long it will be until we get engaged. When our preparations are complete, we will have a short engagement, probably 6 to 13 weeks. Those preparations will take whatever time they take. Waiting isn't easy, but it is rewarding in that I have time to prepare myself to be the best possible husband for Sara and the very act of waiting is like a gift to her. We have all the time in the world.

God acts in God's time. All we can do is diligently seek His will.

John

 

[Singin4Him]

JAKG made a great point! You always want to be cautious during the time of courtship/dating and not assume, hope, or pray that this person is the one but instead pray God will reveal His plan in the situation. The more you concentrate on someone possibly being the one God has for you the more you desires begin to get in the way of you hearing from God about His desires for you, it is so easy to become blinded by emotions and desires. I personally speak from experience.

 

[Amy47]

The responses to this thread are very good. I will tell you how it was for me. I was very cautious about allowing myself to think that Sara was the woman that God wants me to marry. I knew that I desired that, but didn't want to let my desire interfere with the discernment that I was praying for. Consequently, I tended to put most positive signs down to wishful thinking.

Then one morning, during my quiet time as I prayed for God's will to be known and done in our relationship, I gave it all over to God. I told God that I would obey Him whether He wished me to marry Sara or give her up.

Suddenly an amazing calm came over me. I had read Philippians 4:6-7 before, but the phrase "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding" was not something that I had personally experienced before. It was amazing. At the same time, I felt gently scolded as if God said to me, "Wake up! Use your eyes and your ears. I have already given you your answer. how many times and how many ways must I tell you?"

I am eager to marry Sara, but we have much more learning to do before our courting becomes engagement. But this assurance that I received gives me contentment and being content gives me patience so that I am not anxious. We are shopping for promise rings next week. But we have no timeline for how long it will be until we get engaged. When our preparations are complete, we will have a short engagement, probably 6 to 13 weeks. Those preparations will take whatever time they take. Waiting isn't easy, but it is rewarding in that I have time to prepare myself to be the best possible husband for Sara and the very act of waiting is like a gift to her. We have all the time in the world.

God acts in God's time. All we can do is diligently seek His will.

John

EXACTLY! I Used to always think "How do I know he's THE ONE" and then I started praying that if Dan isn't the man for me that he would show me. And like JAKG said this calm feeling overcame me and I believe he is the man god wants me to marry.

 

[Lori-lee]

Well, firstly, i dont believe there is a "one" for everyone. But only a few who would be suitable. Anyways.....

On one hand, i kind of always knew. But because it was so early, i sort of assumed it must be lust/infatuation/honeymoon period. But the feeling never went away or changed. So yeh, i doubted what i was feeling, then it slowly dawned on me that he IS the one and that i always knew! Mainly just revealed by the way i love him so much, and not just in a "squee, i wanna hug him" kind of way, in a quiet 'couldnt live without him" kind of way. In a "happy just doing housework together on a saturday" kind of way. In a "we just had an argument but didnt put each other down and managed to resolve it" kinda way. Just teh way we fit together so well, like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

At the start, i guess one way i knew is the fact that i trusted him, and very quickly, when i never trust anyone. Ever. And the fact that he tried really hard to understand me (i was a bit wild at that time) and loved me enough to give me space, but also enough to never let go.

 

[Carri20]

How do you know when the person you are with is the one for you to get married to? At what poiint in your relationship does it become revealled?

When you pray, seek God's will, and submit to His plan for your life, and you feel the peace of the Holy Spirit over your relationship, I'd say that's a pretty good sign. Of course from there the real test is in the other person. Does he feel the same peace? Has he been praying? Has he completely submitted himself to God?

 

[MN John]

EXACTLY! I Used to always think "How do I know he's THE ONE" and then I started praying that if Dan isn't the man for me that he would show me. And like JAKG said this calm feeling overcame me and I believe he is the man god wants me to marry.

Yes. Isn't God cool! I think that God wants to give us good things, and wants us to ask Him for them, but that He loves best to give us good things when we ask and then decide that it's OK either way and we just want what God wants us to have. Then he often grins and surprises us by giving us just what we have given over to his will. God is so cool!

 

[invisiblebabe]

Also when I said I don't think there is a certain point in a relationship I didn't mean you could know the first day, that is impossible.

My husband and I did know the first day we met.

With God, all things are possible.

His Blessings,
Kayli

 

[Singin4Him]

My husband and I did know the first day we met.

With God, all things are possible.

His Blessings,
Kayli

I'm not saying you can't know but it is very unwise to jump to that conclusion and not spend a lot of time in prayer about it before you share that with one another for the reasons I stated before. I too believe I knew my husband was the one a few days after knowing him but eventhough I thought so as did my husband we didn't share that with each other for over several months and I praise God that we didn't.

 

[chocolateloverjen]

I knew because of the way we met and the way we met was so magical. im not going to type it all, its in my blog somewhere under the title- the greatest love story ever told and its true. But theres a part in it where the christian even has just finished and my youth group and i go down to Blackpool front to have our dinner before leaving. I start to cry cos i didnt get this guys number i liked, i said a prayer ' Lord, if where meant to be for you then we will see each other again but if not guide me anyway, Amen' and straight after that (literally) my friend Vanessa was screaming my name, i ran over to her and she saw him. She imediatly grabbed my arm (as i was like no i cnt go over to nervouse) and i ended getting my photo took with him (he was in the big show, so to me he was like slightly famouse and kewl to get a pic wid). He then asked if i wanted his number, i was sooooooooooo shocked and so happy. wow! I got it, txs happend and in the end we where runing up to each other on blackpool front and had a kiss in the middle. It was a magical kiss. I couldnt hear anything. it was all floaty and dreamy.

And from then,,, now a year a nearly 4 months on we are in a long distant relatiobnship together, and DEEPLY in love. I knew from when i was crying that i hadnt got his number or anything that he was the one. WOW!!!!!

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

I don't believe in the concept of "the one". There is always that special person whom you bond with easily and you have similar values. At that point you make the choice to love them and make it work.

 

[Singin4Him]

I knew because of the way we met and the way we met was so magical. im not going to type it all, its in my blog somewhere under the title- the greatest love story ever told and its true. But theres a part in it where the christian even has just finished and my youth group and i go down to Blackpool front to have our dinner before leaving. I start to cry cos i didnt get this guys number i liked, i said a prayer ' Lord, if where meant to be for you then we will see each other again but if not guide me anyway, Amen' and straight after that (literally) my friend Vanessa was screaming my name, i ran over to her and she saw him. She imediatly grabbed my arm (as i was like no i cnt go over to nervouse) and i ended getting my photo took with him (he was in the big show, so to me he was like slightly famouse and kewl to get a pic wid). He then asked if i wanted his number, i was sooooooooooo shocked and so happy. wow! I got it, txs happend and in the end we where runing up to each other on blackpool front and had a kiss in the middle. It was a magical kiss. I couldnt hear anything. it was all floaty and dreamy.

And from then,,, now a year a nearly 4 months on we are in a long distant relatiobnship together, and DEEPLY in love. I knew from when i was crying that i hadnt got his number or anything that he was the one. WOW!!!!!

Yes but you are not yet married to him, you're just dating.

 

[chocolateloverjen]

Yes but you are not yet married to him, you're just dating.

But we are engaged and going to be married.

 

[Leanna]

I don't believe in "the one" either.... the idea that there is someone from birth who was born to be with you is far fetched. In general, if you have to ask, then its probably not the guy you want to marry.... that's why you're asking. If you aren't sure, don't get married. I would just take it one step at a time and see how things go, and when you feel like he would make an excellent husband and someday a good father for your children... you think you could walk through life together sharing the same values and enjoyments of life... then you should get married.

 

[Inperfected]

There is no "the one" in my mind... Just people who seem to be "right".

When was it "revealed"? Honestly, it was revealed. I begun to ove him and a month later i wanted to marry him. Quick i know, here was a guy who'd wanted to marry me for over a year, and i was making a decision rather quickly. However it had been in my and his mind for a reasonably long time (approx 9 months) before we even begun dating.

it's not going to be revealed, except it AMAZING circumstances. i've heard of them, even my parents had one... But honestly it's not usual. You have to find what you "NEED" in a relationship and look to see whether it is there.. and as leanna said "I would just take it one step at a time and see how things go, and when you feel like he would make an excellent husband and someday a good father for your children... you think you could walk through life together sharing the same values and enjoyments of life... then you should get married."