"The One"

[Singin4Him]

*disclaimer: this is NOT about predestination and Calvinism*

There is a thread going on in the "Courting Couples Forum", the question is addressing whether God has one single person for you or several that you can choose from. My question for the marrieds is, do you believe God had/has a plan for your life to the point where he also planned out who your spouse would be?

 

[Egghead]

*disclaimer: this is NOT about predestination and Calvinism*

There is a thread going on in the "Courting Couples Forum", the question is addressing whether God has one single person for you or several that you can choose from. My question for the marrieds is, do you believe God had/has a plan for your life to the point where he also planned out who your spouse would be?

ONLY because I asked Him to.

He doesnt force much on any of us.

 

[Solitaire]

I do. I look back over the last few years of my life where I had such huge changes happening - moving to a new city, starting a second degree, getting married etc - at the time I was always questioning if I was going in the right direction, and if there wasn't a better option I should have taken.

Now I can see how I should really just relax and truly leave it in the Lord's hands, because everything that happened has turned out so well, and if it weren't for some of the harder decisions, I would not be in this blessed place that I am. So yes, I do believe that it has been planned, and that God has always known what will be best for me. The lesson is to keep this is mind as I continue into the future.

 

[Leanna]

I think each choice in our life takes us closer to or farther from being with a certain person for marriage. I don't believe that there is only "one" that I could be with based on personal experience.

 

[STARINELSON]

This is the 2nd time around for both my husband and I. Due to the circumstances of our OWN choices and the way we found each other (years after our divorces) I believe with all my heart God had this planned from the beginning. It's too long a story to go into here; suffice it to say we married 3 months after we met and our blended families became one in such a blessed way there could be no doubt. We've been together 4 years and we've never been happier.

 

[Cordy]

I don’t know about making a universal statement on the subject, but for me, I definitely think my husband is “the one”. I knew I would marry him before I even thought of being with him romantically. He had prayed about a potential future with me the first night he met me, even though he knew I had a boyfriend at the time.

I am not a “feeling” person. I try not to make decisions based on feeling. I think this is different. It was like knowledge deep down that I think God gave me, to guide me down this path with my husband.

 

[Singin4Him]

awesome, keep the responses coming!

 

[SavedbyGRACEalone]

MY feeling and personal answer is that as far as God is concerned there is no ONE right mate or even PLAN for our lives per say. God In this "AGE OF GRACE" provides us his Completed Word to be rightly divided and to guide our decisions. The Written word is his will and plan for our life. We are expected to make all of our life decisions in light of his word. Also I believe that in Gods master plan (repossesion of Heavean and Earth) We today are to be about heavenly things and therefore based on Pauls teachings on marriage , We can better serve God's purpose if we can remain Unmarried yet it is not wrong to be married.
1co 7:6But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.1co 7:7For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.1co 7:8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.1co 7:9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

To me the important thing is that our marriage be in conformance with the principles taught by Paul.

 

[Shok]

I know that there was only one Mrs. Right for me. After dating for only month (maybe less) we both knew we had found the ONE and the only. God didn't give Adam a selection of women to choose from and I don't believe he does this today.



Shok

 

[EmSchmem]

I don't believe there is "ONE." After all, if a spouse dies, does he assign some people another one? Does that make them a TWO? Elizabeth Elliot was blessed with a husband how many times? Also, if per chance my husband isn't the "one" did I marry the wrong person? Does that negate our ability to have a loving Godly marriage. after all if I make my own marriage decision, I've gone against god's will for the one. Unless I have no free will.

 

[Shok]

I don't believe there is "ONE." After all, if a spouse dies, does he assign some people another one? Does that make them a TWO? Elizabeth Elliot was blessed with a husband how many times? Also, if per chance my husband isn't the "one" did I marry the wrong person? Does that negate our ability to have a loving Godly marriage. after all if I make my own marriage decision, I've gone against god's will for the one. Unless I have no free will.

1Sa 25:42 And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.

Abigail remarried after her husband died so maybe there is only one as in only one at a time? Maybe when her husband died God assigned her a new Mr. Right?

Gen 21:17 And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
Gen 21:18 Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.
Gen 21:19 And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.
Gen 21:20 And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.


Abraham's relation with Hagar was not the will of God but God blessed her and their son anyway. Perhaps people sometimes don't marry the ONE but I believe God will bless them anyway.

Shok

 

[Singin4Him]

Abraham's relation with Hagar was not the will of God but God blessed her and their son anyway. Perhaps people sometimes don't marry the ONE but I believe God will bless them anyway.

I completely agree with this. I also believe that God knows all, he knows when someone's spouse will die and do you not believe just like in EVERY aspect of our lives he has a plan and he may have someone else for that person in his plan as well? I think the word "The One" is becoming to focused on. By "The One" I mean, the person God has planned out for you and in the cases of a spouse dying I do believe God could very well have someone else for that person as part of his plan.

 

[EmSchmem]

But the idea of "ONE" insinuates that there is no choice.

 

[Singin4Him]

But the idea of "ONE" insinuates that there is no choice.

Do you believe God has a plan and a purpose for your life though you can choose to follow it or not? OR do you believe that you are wise enough to create your own plan without the help of God?

 

[jan003]

Yes, I believe in the one. At first I didn't but a revealation from God changed my mind. Below is something I posted in another forum.


I have a friend that is a minister. When he was engaged to be married and he prayed to God about the relationship. Well, one day God showed him an image of him and his fiance and God showed him that they would have a rocky, stormy, and gloomy future. Then God showed him another woman and that his ministry would prosper with her...and overall they would have a bright and shiny future together.

So he calls off the wedding but is afraid that she'll be upset. Well she wasn't...she then gets engage to their mutal friend. She couldn't tell him that GOD wanted her to marry the friend and not him. She had to wait until GOD told her fiance that they weren't right for each other. He said that she seemed truly happy with the other guy...kind of like how GOD showed him how the other woman would make him feel.

And in my situation, God revealed to me who he knew was best for me. But I didn't meet him until years later. But our paths never crossed until GOD showed him who his wife would be.When I saw him for the first time, it freaked me out because he was actually a REAL person....and soooooo sexy (in my opinion).

 

[jan003]

Free will is not exactly what people think it is...

So although we have free will...using our own wisdom to pick a marriage partner is often problematic and we cannot see the future pitfalls but God can (ex: my minister friend in previous post, see divorce rate). Plus, we don't even completely know ourselves so its interesting that people think that they know what they need in a mate. Especially since our knowledge is FINITE
and GOD's is infinite: he knows our being from the end (he's the ultimate relationship expert because he created the rules of love/attraction).

There is a reason why we each have a "type" and are attracted to certain things. God placed those desires in us... just like he gives us each gifts/talents and the passion for what he has called each of us to do. We don't get to pick what we are passionate about... so does that negate our
free will?

I didn't choose my vocation but every since a was a small child I had a burning passion for it. And I've always been strongly attracted to certain qualities in men...and when he revealed to me who he chose for me it all made sense.

Years ago I remember making a list of qualities I wanted in a mate and being sad that God might make me marry someone that I didn't want. But then he revealed to me that he would give me the desires of my heart because he is the one that placed them there. And only he know who can/will fulfull those needs. He designd us uniquely and he knows where we are going and he knows what we need.

 

[Spurling]

Free will means we are free to follow the Will of God.
Free will doesn't mean we choose whatever we want.

As for the issue at hand, well, we know God is sovereign, and we know He has a plan for us. I don't believe in "chance." Chance is a pagan belief, not a Christian one.

 

[Redguard]

I think that there can be more than one "one".

A lot of us have spouses based on geographical conditions on our lives... we're with the person who just happened to be in the same city (or chatroom) as us, or something like that.

I can't help but wonder who I would've married had I grown up in America, England or some other country.

 

[Singin4Him]

I think that there can be more than one "one".

A lot of us have spouses based on geographical conditions on our lives... we're with the person who just happened to be in the same city (or chatroom) as us, or something like that.

I can't help but wonder who I would've married had I grown up in America, England or some other country.

So do you think God is incapeable of knowing that you would be in a certain place and already plan out your meeting with your future spouse then? It would seem that he would be so much smaller than we thought wouldn't it? I mean he did create the universe did he not?

 

[Spurling]

I think that there can be more than one "one".

A lot of us have spouses based on geographical conditions on our lives... we're with the person who just happened to be in the same city (or chatroom) as us, or something like that.

I can't help but wonder who I would've married had I grown up in America, England or some other country.

I think it comes down to "if then" situations being unrealistic. What's done is done - we cannot change the past. God's plan always stands.

I believe there can be more than one "one" if God intends the person to be remarried after a death of a spouse or, in a possible instance, after a divorce.

Anyway, I do see a lot of sovereignty in meeting my girlfriend. Kind of like counting the "causes and effects" in the plot of a movie.