You're really hung up on this elitist lifestyle and assume that anyone who isn't must be uncivilized and was raised wrong. Who cares if someone looks at a nice menu and thinks the food is weird? How is that taking anything from your life? If you want to eat snails and fish eggs then knock yourself out. Why be so judgmental about people who don't care to?
You misunderstand. I'm answering Bill's comment about never knowing anyone who didn't know how to behave at certain places with instances of people who were, unfortunately, made miserable by their own FEELINGS of not knowing what to expect, not about liking one thing or the other. And I specifically referenced taking only older children (not crying babies or toddlers) who had been carefully told what to expect. As for who cares? Sadly, many employers. Some have specific training classes for adults on how to eat properly. Many jobs require their employees to be familiar not only with American etiquette but also international etiquette.
I'm not speaking about people who just don't LIKE something, that's their choice. I'm speaking of people who are literally paralysed by not knowing if they'll like something. The PhD whose parents always hated "weird food" so dined only at chain restaurants despite his attempts to take them to nicer places, and who suddenly had to go to a networking event at an upscale business club with a dress code and dining rules that made him panic. or a college friend who I ran into while shopping and we decided to go grab a quick lunch at a cafe...nothing major upscale, a jeans and t-shirt place with a good menu, and having her comment about how nice everything looked, then getting confused when her food came and whispering "Is this what we ordered?"
I think all people should, WHEN OLD ENOUGH NOT TO CAUSE A DISTURBANCE (this includes not sitting appropriately, making faces, or any other means by which children can disturb others without making a sound) have some basic familiarity with a wide enough variety of social, cultural, dining, and theatre experiences so that they do not become adults who are afraid they can't behave, or will make a business or social gaffe.
I do not advocate snobbery, I advocate familiarity with all levels of regular life experience, from Costco hotdogs to fine dining. It's only that most often, you don't find people who've never had a hotdog, so you have to make more of a conscious effort to make sure OLDER children are exposed to higher end things, to make them comfortable as adults. [/QUOTE]
And the problem is? Some people don't like the ballet. It's okay for people to not enjoy the things you classify as "culture", you know? I love to knit, but I don't think people who think "using two sticks and a string to make something you can buy at Wal-Mart for $5" is ridiculous are Neanderthals.
Again, I'm not talking about people who do, or do not LIKE something, I'm talking about the people who are AFRAID to try to go somewhere because they don't understand "the rules"...which they get all snarled up in. I know a man whose ex-wife used to tear him apart when they went to the symphony...he didn't offer to check her coat, buy her champagne at intermission, etc. When he told me he'd gotten a phobia of doing something WRONG because he didn't know what to do, I first laughed, and said that you only have to enjoy the music (he'd been an orchestra member in his high school years, and loved such music), he said, "No, really, please tell me before we go what you want me to do...and how to do it." He was so wound up in fears of not knowing what to do for things that didn't matter, shouldn't matter, that he couldn't feel comfortable.
Clearly, that woman was in the wrong, but the fear of not knowing what was expected kept her ex from feeling comfortable at something he enjoyed (classical music).
The stated goal of all etiquette is the making of those around you more at ease and more comfortable, not in scoring off someone for eating or not eating snails, but sadly people do judge others based on their familiarity with things...be it NASCAR etiquette, country fair etiquette, or business dining etiquette. I do not advocate this, but I do think that where possible, children should be familiar with a wide variety of circumstances, so that their job prospects are not limited. You want to be a sanitation engineer? Be the best educated one you can be. You want to be a diplomat? Ditto. Education never hurts.
What?! You mean they didn't ask for it to be smothered in foie gras? Clearly those people must have been raised in a barn for liking plain hamburgers.
Again, you misunderstand. The person I knew who did this did so because he knew what they were like, and distrusted other things through lack of familiarity, never ate a vegetable, even on hamburgers, and weighed over 400 pounds before finally seeing a nutritionist and was PROUD of having tried chicken and salads. He LIKED them, but never tried them growing up because he was so stuck on "what if I don't like it". I'm not being elitist, I'm answering Bill's comment about never knowing anyone who did not know what to do or what to order.
This may cause you to faint right away, but sometimes I use paper napkins. How gauche, right?!
Well some of us weren't raised with a silver spoon in our mouths, so we definitely wouldn't know what to do with one if it were sitting on a table in front of us. I guess my parents just didn't love us enough, lest they wouldn't have left us so unexposed to the things you find crucial during the formative years.
I do find variety crucial. I do not find snobbery, or reverse snobbery, crucial. My comments are limited to "Those who CAN" with "CHILDREN WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH NOT TO DISTURB" Experience with anything, from monster truck rallies to opera, is never a substitute for love, nor is it to be mistaken for such.
Peace