The Lame Joke Thread

[Tanys]

Do your worst, Internet. I want the cheesiest, "punniest," most groan-inducing jokes you've got. We all know at least one.

I'll start with this one: How do you organize a space party?

Give up?

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...


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You PLANET.

 

[MrMoe]

One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery. A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk."

 

[Deep Time]

There once was a little frog who wanted to take out a home improvement loan to fix up his pad. His name is Kermit Jagger.
He hopped over to his local bank, went up to the teller and said, "Hi, I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."

The teller replied, "You need to see our loan officer. Her name is "Patricia Black."
So the frog hops over to the loan officer's desk and sits down. When Patricia arrives she ask, "What can I do for you?"
The frog says, "I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."
Patricia asked, "What do you have for collateral?"
After thinking for a couple of moments about what he could offer the frog reaches into his little froggy pocket and pulls out a small white elephant.
"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patricia. "I'll have to check with our bank president to see if it's ok."
Patricia goes to the president and says, "There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who want's a home loan and this white elephant is all he is offering for collateral. What should I do?"
The bank president takes the small white elephant and after carefully examining it hands it back to Patricia and says, "It's a nick-knack Patty Black give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

 

[Pinta77]

Lol xD

 

[Timothew]

How do you catch a unique bird?

U neek up on him!

 

[Timothew]

Three hermits are living together in a cave. One day a horse runs by the mouth of the cave. One year later the first hermit says, "Did you guys see that white horse run by the mouth of the cave?" A year goes by. The second hermit says, "That wasn't a white horse, that was a black horse." Another year goes by. The third hermit says, "I gotta get out of here, I just can't stand all of this bickering!"

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

...Who's there?

Banana!

Banana who??

Knock knock.

WHO'S THERE??

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didnt say banana?

 

[Timothew]

Do your worst, Internet. I want the cheesiest, "punniest," most groan-inducing jokes you've got. We all know at least one.

I went on the internet to find the funniest jokes I could find.
I found a website that claimed these 10 jokes were guaranteed to make me laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

haha nice

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I must find some good jokes today...

 

[Raiyuu]

I got one, I heard this on Y!A.

What does a grapefruit and a nun have in common?

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..
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They both don't live in outerspace xD

It's so lame it had me lol'ing xD

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Haha wow.

What did the ghost say to the wall?

Hey! just passing through.

 

[WannaWitness]

"Why did the golfer bring an extra change of pants to the golf course?" "In case he got a hole in one!"

Actually not too bad, but a smidge cheesy.

 

[WannaWitness]

More cornball stuff:

"Have you heard the one about the broken pencil? There's no point to it?"

"Have you heard the one about the sidewalk? Heck, it's all over town!"

 

[MrMoe]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

[Mikey123]

The Dalai Lama walks in to a pizza shop and asks "Can you make me one with everything?"

 

[LadyOfMystery]

More cornball stuff:

"Have you heard the one about the broken pencil? There's no point to it?"

"Have you heard the one about the sidewalk? Heck, it's all over town!"

Haha

 

[nanis]

Hahahaha that's too good!

 

[MrMoe]

My psychiatrist says I have a messiah complex, but I forgive him.

 

[Chilaha]

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.