So you will all understand I am posting my blog here it will explain what has been going on.
Day 162, 163 and 164 NY time 6:38 pm
I am writing this today to mark this moment in my life as it has to be noted. I am sitting here trying not to cry but it is so hard.....the tears just keep falling. I will think of it as healing waters that God is filling me with to wash away an old life and begin a new one.
I couldn't write the last couple of days because I knew what I was going to have to do today, and I just couldn't find the words to explain what I was feeling, and I couldn't talk about it until it was done.
I'm sorry I am talking a lot and probably making no sense.
For those that do not know I own a performing arts school. Three weeks ago my best friend who started the business decided to retire. We have another partner in the business, I am 48 soon to be 49, the woman who started the business was just 59 and the 3rd partner will be 29.
All different personalities and almost all different genrerations.
One at the end of their road one at the beginning and one in the middle.
When my friend told of her decision to leave it started a snowball effect that caused a huge disagreement which caused irreconcilable differences which made me decide to sell my shares and leave a place I put 12 years of my sweat and blood and heart into.
I use the anaolgy when Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus, I believe Jesus forgave Him, because Judas was fulfilling prophecy that was part of Gods master plan.
I hate the phrase"It is not personal it's business." I think of that movie "You've Got Mail" and when Meg Ryan yells "What does that mean it's not personal, it is personal, to me."
I felt like that 3 weeks ago. But I used the Judas Iscariot analogy to show I understood what had ocurred was necessary to my growth, it was His master plan.
Sometimes betrayal by friends is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, but I knew the parties involved had no control over what they did, because God wanted it that way. And even though I choose to leave the business I love them both with all my heart and will help them prosper still, if I can.
It was not by their hands that I left but by Gods for He has a greater work for me elsewhere and I would have never left if not for this.
So when I said I was in the midst of a tornado I was not kidding, this is what has been going on. I signed the papers today for the sale of my portion of the business and with it went a piece of my heart and life that is over forever, but in my sadness I know I am walking towards a new life.
I know I have quoted this before but now you know it's relevance.
"Every story has an ending every ending is a new beginning."
If you can believe this I love my friends who hurt me even more than before, because I see the human frailness and I long for them to know and see what I know and see in Christ in the way I do.
I needed to love them more so they understood how Christ is working in me.
When it happened I cried for 3 days and then the revelation came in my soul and peace like I never knew followed.
I don't know where I am going I am just holding the Lords hand and walking in blind faith.
I asked God in my way to show me a scripture to end this with and it is this. Given to me by a dear sister.
Psalm 34:6-10 (New Living Translation)
6 In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
he saved me from all my troubles.
7 For the angel of the Lord is a guard;
he surrounds and defends all who fear him.
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
9 Fear the Lord, you his godly people,
for those who fear him will have all they need.
10 Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.
I love ALL of you in ways you will never know or understand.
Some thought I came back and opened the ARC a thread that dealt with forgiveness for some reasons but those who knew the whole picture really understood the metamorphisis that was taking place inside of me.
I will never be the same again, and I thank God for that.
With much love and affection in Christ.
G
