the importance of Virginity?

[Eudaimonist]

Guys,
Like some of the ladies did earlier in this thread, let's not turn this into a dogfight....

There is no point in anyone discussing ideas with someone one believes to be dishonest, or to someone who regards oneself in that way. Any fruitful discussion of ideas assumes the honesty of both parties. Without the mutual expectation of honesty, silence is far preferable.

Blessedj01 has clearly indicated that he expects me to be dishonest in the discussion. Perhaps that kind of negativity about others goes with being a "soldier", as he fancies himself. In any case, there won't be any dogfight because I will no longer speak with him on any topic. End of story.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[Blessedj01]

There is no point in anyone discussing ideas with someone one believes to be dishonest, or to someone who regards oneself in that way. Any fruitful discussion of ideas assumes the honesty of both parties. Without the mutual expectation of honesty, silence is far preferable.

Blessedj01 has clearly indicated that he expects me to be dishonest in the discussion. Perhaps that kind of negativity about others goes with being a "soldier", as he fancies himself. In any case, there won't be any dogfight because I will no longer speak with him on any topic. End of story.


eudaimonia,

Mark

We're all dishonest in the regard that we reject the Christ. It appears that that's your standpoint by definition? I don't think you're "dishonest" per-se in having your signature image, I just think you're confused and deceived by the so-called wisdom of the statement that's obviously intended to convey a contrarian message to others.

I'm not really interested in political posturing or emotional appeals, but I gave an elementary rejection of the wisdom of the signature that you appear to hold value towards. That has obviously offended you. For that, I can't apologise but I can say that I hope you realise I wouldn't be trying to prove it wrong if I didn't think you could benefit from hearing the counterargument.

I am a soldier of Christ. I'm not afraid to confront issues head-on. I hope you know that I'm no better than you - in fact I'm willing to bet money that I'm worse in sin-deeds and legal-deeds alone. I am probably one of the worst people on this forum. That lends me towards removing the sugar-coated aspect of my message. Go in peace then, brother. You have no obligation to argue with me nor would I force you too.

 

[Reminisce]

Thanks to everyone who supported me in this thread. <3

 

[dogs4thewin]

The Bible says that we are to wait until marriage to have sex. Thus, I consider it important.

 

[Belk]

The Bible says that we are to wait until marriage to have sex. Thus, I consider it important.

It does? Where does it say that?

 

[Wiccan_Child]

The Bible says that we are to wait until marriage to have sex. Thus, I consider it important.

Where does it say that? I know that St. Paul (or ways it Peter) said that one should be chaste all your life, and that marriage is a last resort for those who are incapable of resisting their urges.

 

[Blessedj01]

It does? Where does it say that?

"Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2

Further to add to that, sex IS marriage.

 

[yasic]

"Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2

Further to add to that, sex IS marriage.

Lets expend it to 1 Corinthians 7:1-7

1 Now for the matters you wrote about: &#8220;It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.&#8221; 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.


So apparently this is a suggestion that does not originate from God according to verse 6, no?


EDIT:

In fact there general message pf 1 Corinthians is "Don't get married if you have the ability not to as a married man has a harder time being closer to God than an unmarried one"

Do you plan to follow this biblical advice and remain single for the remainder of your earthly life?

 

[Blessedj01]

The "suggestion" does originate from God.

In fact there general message pf 1 Corinthians is "Don't get married if you have the ability not to as a married man has a harder time being closer to God than an unmarried one"

That's right, that's I've pretty much left this question to God. I am not seeking anybody.

Do you plan to follow this biblical advice and remain single for the remainder of your earthly life?

If that's what it takes, yeah. However I don't necessarily know what my future will hold yet bro.

You need to try to understand: It's not a bad thing to get married, it's a good thing. God loves marriage. However, it's a bad thing to put marriage before God. That's pretty much what these verses are about.

Sometimes people are called to things that prevent them from being married. Sometimes it's just their lifestyle..and ometimes, people get their heads cut off for God.

Seems like you're tryna make me stress out about something that doesn't really concern me. I could die tomorrow for all I know. Marriage would be a great blessing from God, but I'm not planning my life around it.

I just stand for Christ and the gospel. That's what I do with my singleness - and focus on me and God.

 

[DaneaFL]

"Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2

Further to add to that, sex IS marriage.

You are right! Ancient Hebrews saw having sex as marriage... so let's rephrase that verse using this knowledge:

"Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own [sexual partner], and let each woman have her own [sexual partner]." 1 Corinthians 7:2

Where does it say that you have to perform modern marriage rituals before you can have sex?

 

[Blessedj01]

...I am right. That's where you should have stopped. It's not necessary to patronize me.

I'm teaching you. Not the other way around.

I personally don't believe that you have to perform marriage rituals to have sex, but if you have sex you are married. If you leave that person permanently you are divorced. If you have sex with someone else, you are committing adultery.

Also, if you are having sex with someone you don't intend to be married to in the sense that you are taking them to be your husband or wife, as a life-contract, you're committing adultery as well.

There might be someone who can disagree/correct me, but I'm pretty sure sex is the binding contract of marriage.

...but here's a big difference between having that knowledge and using it as a license to have sex. God's supposed to be at the center of relationships. If you're just sleeping with someone and hoping for the best, you may spiritually be married to them, but you're probably still committing adultery (and lust).

 

[Larry Mondello]

I don't make fun of her or pick on her!

Why can't everone just chill

When did I become the bad person in this thread?

People should notice I never took sides in the spat, and won't.

It doesn't look good to have two Christian young ladies going after each other.
Didn't look great to have an atheist go in and "moderate" the two in the argument.

I support one of the posters for being a virgin, but I support the non-virgin as well. Wouldn't think any less of the other for not being a Christian virgin lady.
Both sides made some errors here and I detected some spiritual pride.

Have read posts where some virgins said they wouldn't want to marry a non-virgin.
There's really no outward way for someone to know if the person they're dating is or isn't a virgin, especially early on in the relationship.
Sex shouldn't come up early.

I posted how there are many who may not have been virgins, but only had sex a couple of times (like me)-- and truly regretted not waiting.

On the other side, have also seen men and women post how they wouldn't want to date a virgin or "have" to be their "teacher." Also wrong attitude.
Methinks even agnostics or atheists might respect a Christian woman for waiting. It does show some restraint and maturity.

Virgins aren't necessarily "better" than non-virgins, nor vice-versa.
It's like someone else said, purity.

For other Christians reading this, this post might shape things a little better:
http://www.christianforums.com/t7613155-3/#post59383253

Please also understand men and women are human. Even "dedicated" Christians fall to the trap of sin, sexual or not.

As I posted, I never got to experience the magic of the first night, the newness of the discovery.
It's great if both people are virgins but can still be great if one of them isn't.

He/she may not have been promiscuous and knows he/she erred and sinned (like me).
But they will see and experience the other's Christian love.... and be glad they waited for them....
He'll (usually the case) will also be glad the virgin woman didn't condemn him when he honestly told her he wasn't a virgin...

This isn't a slap at any particular poster as I truly admire and respect women and men who hold-off until marriage...

In these threads, I try to encourage and support virgins, some of whom irrationally think they're "lesser" or "odd" -- especially men in their late 20s and 30s - and try to show others the problems of losing your virginity outside of marriage/ engagement...

 

[Blessedj01]

I'm not a virgin and there's no person in this universe who's "better" than me except Jesus Christ.

...but having said that, that doesn't mean that my attitudes towards sex and relationships are the same as they were when I was younger.

Any woman who would completely refuse to accept me simply because I'm not a physical virgin, if we'd already established a bond of love, would be practicing her religion over Christ's love.

If you don't love someone enough to forgive their past mistakes, you don't love them.

I respect anybody who seeks a virgin for their mate but the reality is, God may place someone different in your path. Someone who might shock you with where they've been in life but could still be the perfect person for you.

 

[Blessedj01]

(double post)

 

[suzybeezy]

MOD HAT ON

As a reminder folks: &#9679; Do not promote or encourage adultery or premarital sex.

MOD HAT OFF

 

[RoadWarrior]

Observation: It is very difficult to persuade people about issues if the issues are never discussed.

 

[AgapeBible]

I'm 31 and still a virgin. I have trouble meeting guys, I don't have many friends. I would like a nice Christian boyfriend. GOd forgives us for our sexual sins, it is purity of the heart that counts. I had a bondage fetish and I looked at porn online and drew dirty pictures in the past. I have stopped it and asked god's forgiveness, God has freed me from my sins.

 

[Blessedj01]

Thanks for telling us that agape. See, exceptions to the "rule" do exist.

The past is the past as far as God's concerned.

 

[clarence rutherford]

Any woman who would completely refuse to accept me simply because I'm not a physical virgin, if we'd already established a bond of love, would be practicing her religion over Christ's love.

If you don't love someone enough to forgive their past mistakes, you don't love them.

I respect anybody who seeks a virgin for their mate but the reality is, God may place someone different in your path. Someone who might shock you with where they've been in life but could still be the perfect person for you.

A virgin woman in her early 30s I dated in my late 20s, a girl I almost got engaged to, she almost came apart when I told her I wasn't a virgin (like her), She came to tears.

Should've said something like,
"I had sex in HS a couple of times my sr. yr. with a girl before I became of faith in college. My conscious bothered me and had a condom failure.

I really wanted to be a good Christian but it's hard when women don't give you a chance and you're alone for most of your 20s, so I fell a couple of times.....
As we didn't know each other then, please don't take offense.
It wasn't something I'm proud of and I certainly wouldn't have done it had I known you would be in my life...."

But was shaken, humiliated and didn't say any of that as I wasn't a quick-thinker and let her criticism get to my thin skin.

Interestingly, met her within a week or two after one of those casual experiences.

Not being experienced at relationships, made all the mistakes we newbies made:
-built my world around her, felt threatened when she would (legitimately) bring up doubts she had about us, telling me we should "cool" things as she's received "inquiries..." though she initially was the one who thought we might want to get engaged.

If I was smart and strong, would've simply walked awayand let her contact me... There are other women I can date...

Turns out she wasn't for me as she was opposite my political views and became very judgmental in the virginity deal and other things.

REPHRASED:
Not sayin' all virgins are judgmental, or that ONLY virgins are judgmental about such things as I experienced first-hand some judgement by a fellow "Christian."
I know non-virgins laugh at or ridicule virgins and have seen posts by such bullies. I don't think that's great either.

 

[DarkMonk]

I'm 31 and still a virgin. I have trouble meeting guys, I don't have many friends. I would like a nice Christian boyfriend. GOd forgives us for our sexual sins, it is purity of the heart that counts. I had a bondage fetish and I looked at porn online and drew dirty pictures in the past. I have stopped it and asked god's forgiveness, God has freed me from my sins.

It's funny for you to say that you have problems meeting guys...
As I have problems meeting girls....I'm 29 and virgin.